Since dad had died, I’d been the one to make sure the others were okay. They relied on me, expected me to be there for them, but now, we were all fucking grown men. It was my turn to make a decision that would put my happiness first. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dixie in it. Even when I’d tried, her face had always been there, following me into my dreams. We’d lost three years, both been hurt and scarred, but maybe we could find a way to heal together.
Dixie deserved more from me. She wanted me to fight for her, to choose her over others, something I didn’t understand at first, but now I did more than ever before. I loved my brothers, but they weren’t little boys anymore. I didn’t always have to put their needs and wants first—we were all adults now, or almost.
Steel was hurting and I had to give him time. Once his anger had run its course and he was ready to listen, I’d talk to him about Dixie, which was more than he’d done for me. If he’d asked me beforehand, I’d have never allowed him to start a relationship with her only because of the letters, not because I did not want them to be happy. But now, things had changed and the happiness of the only woman I’d ever loved was at stake. It was time for me to put Dixie first.
As I exited the attic and walked down the hall, I heard Bray and Dallas laughing in the kitchen. I hadn’t expected Bray to be up, much less laughing. He’d stayed away for days, kept his distance, but now he seemed to be acting normal again. He hadn’t faced Brent yet, though. We all knew that was coming. We’d all been waiting. I doubted Brent or Steel had made it home already. If they had, they’d still be hungover in bed until Momma banged a pot with a spoon in their room to wake them up. Or a glass of ice water would be thrown in their faces like she’d done so many times before.
“Y’all sure are in good moods this early,” I said, heading straight for the coffee on the counter. I didn’t want to make a big deal of Bray’s being out of his room.
“Norton adopted a wild mustang. You should see that thing twist and buck. It’s feral. Crazy as hell.” Dallas replied, as if this was a good reason to be so happy in the morning.
Bray spoke then. “They’re gonna break him. Attempt to break him. But I’ll believe it when I see it. I already told Norton I ain’t getting on the thing. That bastard will put your dick in the dirt.”
I figured that was a sound decision. “Reckon it’d be dumb to try. Never seen a wild mustang, but I hear they can be dangerous. Not meant for joy riding.”
Dallas leaned back in his chair. Tucking a strand of dark hair behind his left ear, he said, “I ain’t scared of no bronco.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re still a stupid little shit,” Bray replied with a smirk.
“I’m bigger than you,” he shot back.
“You’re bigger than all of us,” I added. “But that bronco is larger than you, though apparently not your ego.”
His grin grew, ignoring the second part of what I said. “Yeah. Ain’t that a bitch. Momma also loves me best.”
Bray rolled his eyes, replying, “You’re the baby. Poor woman ain’t got no choice.”
Dallas wasn’t upset about that at all. Shrugging, he unfolded his frame to stand, reaching for the cowboy hat on the chair beside him. “And I’m the handsomest.”
“Then why do they all want to suck my dick?” Bray added.
Dallas barked with laughter. “Damn, it’s good to have you back.”
I had to agree with him. The darkness in his eyes told me he wasn’t completely back. But I’d watch him closely until he was.
“You working today?” Bray asked me.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied.
“When are you heading back to Florida? Don’t y’all have to start workouts and practice soon?”
I wasn’t sure I was going back. I didn’t want to say that yet. Momma would be disappointed if I didn’t go back, get my diploma, so I said, “Next month we’ll begin.”
Dallas took a long swig from the gallon of milk, then looked at me. “You really gonna stay that long?”
“I need to make sure Momma is taking her medicine regularly.”
Bray snorted. “And that Dixie is okay. Don’t deny it. You’re afraid to leave until you’re sure she’s fine.”
I wasn’t going to deny it. “That’s true,” I replied honestly.
Dallas was staring at me. I could see the surprise in his expression, but I didn’t comment any further. Momma came walking in the door with a basket of eggs on her arm. “If you just drank directly from that gallon of milk, I’m gonna tan your hide.”
Dallas shook his head, looking all innocent. “No, Momma, I was just getting it out to pour me a glass.”
“After he took a long swig, that is,” Bray offered, taking the eggs from momma.
Dallas glared at Bray who couldn’t care less.
“Don’t none of us want your backwash, boy,” Momma scolded, her frown remaining in place as she went to the stove to get the lard and flour, getting everything ready to start preparing breakfast.
“That heifer’s gonna have her baby this week. She’s got the look. It’s about time. I was sure she’d have that calf in May. Need to move her to the small ring,” she said. That was meant for all, but Bray nodded.
“Yeah, I noticed. I’ll get Dallas out there with me and we’ll take care of it.”
Momma stopped and put her hand on Bray’s cheek. “You good? Worried me sick. Ain’t no girl worth that.”
He nodded but his eyes betrayed him. She seemed appeased so she dropped her hand to get back to cooking.
“Neither of them other two came home last night. This ain’t a boarding house. If they aren’t here in the next hour, they’ll be sleeping with that heifer for a week.”
Dallas looked at me apologetically. “Dixie broke up with Steel. He’s struggling. Brent stayed with him.”
Momma stopped and turned to me. She didn’t say anything at first. I was ready to defend myself. It wasn’t fair that everyone blamed me for what Steel was going through.
She just said, “Guess that was coming. Good thing. She didn’t love him right.”
That’s all she said. We went on to discuss what needed to be done on the farm until we ate and then left for work.
Just as I was walking out the door, she called my name. She’d waited until the other two were gone. “Keep an eye on him. He ain’t right just yet.”
I knew who she meant, so I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I will.”
Dixie Monroe
THE CLOCK ON the wall finally said it was lunch time. At noon, the salon closed for an hour. Everyone was free to spend their break as they pleased. The other employees usually used the tanning beds during this time or styled each other’s hair. I occasionally got a wash and cut, but most of the time, I just read a book and ate a sandwich.
Today, however, I had other plans. I had decided the front desk needed a little sprucing up. A nice pot of flowers would do and I knew just where to get them. This was not what Asher and I had agreed on last night, but I wanted to see him. Maybe say hello. It wasn’t like I was taking him lunch and making a scene for the town to talk about.