But Jullien didn’t seem to care as he winked at her and Vas, who was suddenly interested in the story.
“So there we were,” Jullien continued the story. “The hottest summer in Kirovarian history, on maneuvers with these massively heavy backpacks Barnabas had loaded with heat-absorbing rocks, where it was eight hundred degrees in the shade. Not that there was any shade to be found on that course, mind you.”
“He’s not exaggerating. It was so hot, it melted my granola bar.”
Vas scowled. “How do you melt a granola bar?”
“Exactly!” Bastien said with a laugh. “I swear the heels of my boots melted off.”
“Yeah, and unlike Bas and his siblings, I was overweight, with atrophied muscles from a period of—” He paused as he glanced to Vasili. “—confinement, and I wasn’t used to their atmosphere. At all. It’s a lot thinner than what we have on Andaria, with different gravity and allergens. So I’m disoriented, choking and wheezing, and doubled over, puking.”
Screwing his face up at the memory, Bastien nodded. “Not a pretty sight. I don’t know what they’d fed your paka, but it was gross. My brother and sister stood there yelling at poor Julie because my uncle’s threatening to make us run extra laps if he doesn’t get back on the course and finish it. And I give him credit, he’s on his hands and knees, trying his damnedest to push himself to his feet. Hell, he’s even crawling in an effort to get to the end. I’d never seen anyone so determined to get up in my life, but it’s just not happening. He’s choking and sweating so badly that I’m expecting Julie to die any minute.”
“So,” Jullien says, interrupting him. “In true Bastien form—and keeping in mind that he’s only seven at the time—he yanks off his helmet, throws his backpack down, and lies on the ground, using the helmet for a pillow, and says to them, and I quote verbatim, ‘Later, bitches. I’m done for the day. Y’all can carry me home or call for a lift. Either way, I ain’t moving from here. My ass is too precious for this abuse.’”
Ushara gasped. “How did that go over?”
Bastien snorted as his ass twitched in response to the memory. “Like sacrificing a fluffy kitten on a high holiday. My uncle set my precious ass on fire. But it got the attention off poor Julie.”
“Yeah, but you bought yourself a world of hurt that day.”
Bastien shrugged nonchalantly. “You weren’t there when my mother saw the ass bruises after we got home. I promise you, what he did to me pales in comparison to her reaction on him when she saw them. But for my father’s lightning-quick reflexes, I’d be shy a few cousins. I actually owe you. Because of that particular fun adventure, I didn’t have to go back to summer camp until I was a teenager. And I went with bodyguards my mother had ordered to shoot my uncle if he, or anyone else, so much as raised an eyebrow to me.” He grinned at Ushara. “As I said, my ass was quite precious.”
Jullien laughed. “Your mother was something else. Until Shara, I’d never seen anyone so protective of her young. I’m amazed she ever allowed you to join the military.”
“Again, you missed the fireworks. Holy Jacob … she actually tried to shoot me to get me out of it.”
“I would say bullshit, but knowing your mother … it sounds about right.”
Ushara gaped. “Seriously?”
Bastien sobered as he remembered the vicious fight he’d caused for his mother and father after boosting a transport that had belonged to a friend’s parents.
“He’s going into the military, Lia! He needs discipline and you won’t let me give him any! You cradle and coddle the boy like he’s still in nappies. I’ve even seen you cut his meat up when it’s served to him … and that was just last night!”
“I swear to the gods, Newie, if my baby gets hurt because of your selfish stupidity and rampant insistence on this folly, your balls are the first set I’m coming after!”
That was as close to profanity as his mother had ever come. ’Course that was his special talent. Driving his saintly mother to curse and his stoic teetotaler father to drink.
Bastien cleared his throat. “Yeah, my mother loved us. We definitely lucked out when it came to parents. They didn’t deserve what Barnabas did to them, and I won’t rest until I make this right.”
Jullien reached for a handful of the carrots Ushara had just cubed. “You going after the throne?”
Bastien glanced over to where the twins were playing on the floor. They were so innocent of the horrors of the world. How he wished he could keep all children that way.
And it made him long for the days when he’d played with his brother and sister like that.
“I don’t know. I was never supposed to be ruler.… Third born. It should never have come to me. I was supposed to be the fun-loving playboy of the family, who screwed up and gave the others something scandalous to talk about at cocktail parties.”