I looked at Clementine’s tray and had to laugh. Green mushy blobs were everywhere. “Yes, I can see that.”
Erin blew a loose piece of hair out of her eyes. “At least she ate all her applesauce and macaroni and cheese.”
Clementine’s navy-blue dress showed signs of both. “Thanks for feeding her.”
“Mommy, he hit me.”
“No, Mommy. He hit me.”
The older boys were yelling from the other room, but it didn’t seem to faze Erin a bit. “John, the boys are fighting and they need a bath anyway. I’d like to go to early Mass tomorrow,” she called to her husband, who must have been elsewhere in the house.
I hadn’t realized he was home. John was a doctor and usually took call on the weekends. Weekend call made it easier for him to be home at night during the week, and it was important for him to see his children. He was a nice, respectable man who took care of his family with more than just money.
“I’m on it,” John answered from somewhere upstairs.
His response didn’t surprise me—he was always helping with the boys.
So different from how I’d grown up.
“Come on, boys,” John called. A moment later I heard laughter and the boys giggling as they ran up the stairs.
“I want to go first,” William said.
“No, I do,” Conner whined.
With a tight grip on the sticky handles, I carefully removed Clementine’s food tray.
Giving the kitchen my full attention now, I couldn’t help but think about what a stark contrast this house was to the one I grew up in. Everything in our home always had to be clean, orderly, in the right place. We had to eat everything on our plate, we weren’t allowed to yell or scream, and we always tidied our own messes. And my father never helped my mother with anything except for disciplinary issues.
I wanted Clementine to grow up in an environment like this. Not one where order ruled over chaos and one man reigned supreme.
“Will you take her tomorrow?” Erin asked, jostling me from my thoughts.
I lifted Clementine from her seat. “Take her where?” I asked.
“To church. I know Michael tries not to miss a Sunday.”
“I don’t typically attend Mass with him.”
“Oh,” was her only response.
I didn’t add that I gave up on God a long time ago.
Clementine put her hands on my cheeks, reminding me that this wasn’t my dark past. I shook off my thoughts and looked at her. “Let’s get you changed, silly girl.”
Erin was patting the baby’s back.
“Is his reflux any better?” I asked.
Just then, projectile vomit answered my question. Erin grabbed a burp cloth and wiped the baby’s mouth. “Not at all.” She juggled the baby and cloth without frazzle or tears.
“Can I help?” I offered.
She shook her head. “No. Clementine’s diaper bag is on the couch in the family room. There’s a pair of pajamas in there and a change of clothes, but I have to warn you, she didn’t take a nap. She was too busy watching the boys.”
Erin was no-nonsense and had all her ducks in a row.
“Thanks for the warning.” I smiled.
Clementine was pointing to the milk on the floor. “Messy,” she said.
With a laugh, I leaned my forehead to her. “Speaking of messy, little miss, pajama time for you.”
Erin had Taigh laid across her thighs and was patting his back again. “You’re good with her, you know.”
I looked at her and how good she was with her kids and then at Clementine’s smiling face. “You think?”
The baby burped again, and this time Erin caught the small blob of spit-up with the cloth diaper in her hand. “No, I don’t think, I know. I can see it. Elizabeth always seemed afraid around her, like she might break her. But you’re different.”
I shrugged. “Isn’t everyone?”
She cradled Taigh in her arms. “Yes, that’s true. I’m sure when Elizabeth returns she’ll embrace motherhood. Any word of when that might be?”
The lies were getting to me.
I couldn’t answer her because I had no idea if Lizzy would return and, if she did, what kind of shape she’d be in. I shook my head. “I’m going to get her changed now so I can pop her straight into bed if she falls asleep in the car.”
Erin stood and set the baby in the bouncy seat on the counter. “Elle.”
I turned back.
“I don’t think I’ve told you how much I admire you.”
“Me? Why?”
She picked up some dirty dishes from the table. “You put your life on hold and moved here to help take care of your sister’s daughter. Not everyone would do that.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “That’s just it, Erin. I didn’t put my life on hold.” I kissed Clementine. “I started living it.” I didn’t explain any further. I couldn’t. Some emotions were too painful to discuss.
On shaky legs, I turned and left her in the kitchen as she bent to clean up the vomit on the floor.
The family room was quiet, but I could hear water splashing upstairs and Erin talking to Braden and Taigh as she cleaned up.
Their house was messy but it was anything but a mess.