Dark colors to live through the dark night alone.
Essence pointed at one of the street performers. Apparently Halloween was a night where people came out to show off their talents on a regular basis. Essence giggled at something one of the clowns did.
“You know, there’s lots of people who find clowns frightening. They hide their faces and their true intentions.”
She eyed him, a grin playing on her face. “At least they’re honest. I think most people hide the monster within.”
Her phrasing caught him short. He shouldn’t be surprised. His head was half caught up in trying to figure out what to do about getting her to move. Could she suddenly come into some money with the stipulation she had to use a portion of it every month for her living arrangements?
He turned to her. “Do you think most people have a monster?”
“I know that I do.” She pulled out her wallet, which had seen better days, as the leather peeled in places. She grabbed a dollar and put it in a dish the clown had out for tips. He narrowed his eyes. Her wallet wasn’t very full. She had a good job, but if he had to guess, she had things to pay off before she could feel a little bit more secure financially. Yes, that he was going to fix for her, fast.
He stopped himself from touching her. To put his arm around her like he had the night before would be the most natural thing in the world. Yet, he couldn’t allow it. Not if he was going to disappear from her notice.
The second he touched her, he was done for.
“You can’t have a monster in you. Essence, you radiate goodness.”
“Yeah, well. Gosh, I have some pretty weird dreams at night. My mama used to try to beat them out of me. But it’s all blood, all the time. Vampires. Since I met you, I’ve been casting you into the whole role, too. I must have a monster in there somewhere.”
His heart turned over. There were parts of Constantia she carried with her, and she had no idea. Her mother had tried to beat it out of her. The woman was lucky she was not present or he’d take a stick to her she wouldn’t quickly forget.
The monster roared. Whenever he thought of violence, it became hard to contain him.
“What are the dreams about?”
She groaned. “The most recent one involved the two of us—well, it was you, but not me. I was in the role of a beautiful woman, dark haired, perfectly coifed. She didn’t stumble—although, to be fair, I never did when I danced. Everywhere else, yes. Anyway, we were at the opera seeing The Firebird when it first came out. Then there was vampirism in a dark alley. Drinking blood. Other things.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have told you this. Are you horrified?”
“Essence,” he couldn’t touch her with his hands, so he waited until she opened her lids to regard him. “You’re a lovely, sweet woman. As beautiful as any I’ve ever known.” He meant the words he spoke. “I wish you didn’t have those dreams. I wish they would leave you alone. I would do anything to spare you. It’s okay for you to let them go. It’s okay for you to never dream of blood again.”
He would wish that for her, more than anything.
Chapter Four
He never called. He never sent roses again—although she wasn’t surprised about that, considering she had told him not to. For Essence, it was like Alec had never existed at all. Her body felt tight, as though her brain was fuzzy. What had she done that night in the park to make him not interested anymore?
She rubbed her eyes. Maybe it was what she hadn’t done. The whole virginity thing. She had no idea how to either seduce a man or how to respond to what might or might not be advances. She’d probably done something terribly wrong.
Essence grabbed her bag. She needed coffee and massive amounts of it, fast.
Over the last few weeks, whenever she was outside she had the strangest feeling that she was being followed. There was never a moment when she could put her finger on why, just like she had an itch on the back on her neck, as though someone watched her, someone followed. But when she’d turn around, there would be no one there.
Inside, she was fine—yet the second she ventured out into the world outside four walls, that feeling would start again.
The coffee place around the corner had a line. She stood in it patiently. If someone stalked her, they would be bored out of their mind watching her buy her daily dose of caffeine and quietly obsess over a guy she’d had two dates with three weeks earlier. This spoke to how completely ridiculous she was. Who had so little experience with men that the one guy who dated them exactly twice wrecked them for weeks?
She ordered her coffee and stepped back onto the street. Her neck itched. Someone watched her. She sighed. This was Manhattan. There were hundreds of people around at all times. At any given moment, someone could be staring at her.