“Just dimmed?” she asked somberly.
“Dimmed,” I confirmed. “You can’t attempt to touch me with your light and not expect me to darken your soul. I’ll always try to consume your light just as you’ll always try to consume my dark. It’s who we are, but it won’t change who we are. It’s those pieces of colliding that make us incredible.”
Briar twisted in my arms and pressed her head against my chest, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “When I couldn’t get away from that man, all I could think about was that I would never see you again,” she admitted softly. “I fought so hard to get away from him, Lucas, but that thought—” Her breathing hitched, and she waited a second before she spoke again. “It was crippling.”
I gripped her closer and pressed my mouth to the top of her head. “I know, Blackbird . . . I know. I’ve never had fear devour me like that. I knew someone was coming after you, and I couldn’t get ahold of the driver. Those seconds before the driver called me back were torture. But when he called . . . the way he apologized made me think they had succeeded. It felt like someone had torn my life from my body.”
Briar’s fingers brushed against my jaw and down my neck slowly, like she was proving to us both that she was still there.
“I meant what I said this afternoon.”
Her fingers stilled on my chest, her eyes widening as they locked with mine.
“I love you, Briar.”
“I love you,” she whispered back as her eyes misted, her words sounding like a promise.
No, you don’t. And soon you’ll see why.
But I was selfish enough to take those last minutes with her when she thought that she did—when I thought that she could.
I pulled her back to the large island in the middle of the kitchen, caught her mouth in a teasing kiss as I lifted her onto it, and pulled her hips to the edge of the granite countertop. Lifting her shirt from her body, I let it fall to the floor as I tried to savor every moment, every look, and every touch.
I claimed her mouth again and swallowed her moan as she pulled me closer to wrap her legs around my hips. She loosened my tie and pulled it over my head slowly, but as the kiss heated, her hands started moving faster. My belt was off within seconds, and her fingers worked quickly through the buttons on my shirt as I pulled it out of my pants.
Her hand paused where it was pushing my pants and boxer briefs down, and a needy moan sounded in her throat when I trailed my hand up the inside of her thighs, pulled the lace aside, and slid a finger inside her. Her toes curled against my hips and her breath came out in a shuddering moan when I added a second. I pulled back to look at her, completely captivated as her eyes fluttered shut and she arched back.
“This skirt . . .”
“I know,” she breathed, and her mouth twitched up into the faintest of smiles. “Happy birthday.”
“Lean back,” I ordered and finished stepping out of my clothes as she did. Grabbing her thighs, I pulled her away from the island until only her back was touching the granite. “Hands under you.”
Briar’s eyes flashed and her cheeks filled with heat.
Once her fingers were wrapped around the edge of the counter, I placed her thighs on my shoulders and growled, “Don’t let go.”
Chapter 36
Haunted
Briar
We were sitting on the floor of the kitchen sometime later picking at the cake I had made for him, mostly dressed. Lucas was in his slacks, and I had managed to find my skirt that had come off at some point during the transition from the island to the hallway wall since we hadn’t been able to make it to his room. By the time I had finished putting it on, he had handed me his button-down shirt. Everything else remained scattered around the floor, and the sight made me smile as I stabbed a small forkful of cake. Lucas hadn’t bothered to cut a piece or get a plate. He’d just grabbed a fork for us to share and had brought the entire thing down here with us.
He pulled me closer into his body, and I curled against his chest as I handed the fork back.
He groaned in appreciation around the bite, as he had the others. “This is perfect, thank you.”
“Happy birthday. I’m sorry it was horrible and I didn’t get you anything.”
He huffed through his nose and set the fork down. Pressing his knuckles under my chin to lift my head, he studied me intently for long seconds before saying, “You have.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Blackbird, you’ve given me more than I deserve, and I’ll be thankful every day for you.”
My chest warmed, and though I tried to hold it back, my lips kept curving up into a smile.
But the look that suddenly filled his eyes didn’t match his words or the warmth that had filled me, and was now quickly receding from me.
“I told you this afternoon that I needed to talk to you when we got home.” He swallowed thickly, and something like fear flashed across the devil’s face. “Briar . . . it’s time . . . it’s time we talked.”
I nodded hesitantly. “Okay,” I said slowly, drawing the word out.
He gently pushed me away until I was sitting on the floor a foot away from him, and no matter how much my body begged me to reach for him again, I worried that the distance he’d placed between us wouldn’t be enough.
“Lucas, you’re scaring me.”
His head tilted, and a small laugh of frustration forced from his lungs. “I want to tell you that you shouldn’t be scared, because of everything I’ve done to you, this will only be talking. But out of all the conversations we’ve had, this is the one I was sure I would never have with you, and it’s the one I’m positive will make you run back to Georgia.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them but didn’t speak again. Just waited.
“You have to understand that telling you any of this isn’t allowed, and I don’t mean for this life. This is so much more dangerous than breaking rules with you, Briar. But after today, I can’t continue to let our life go on without you knowing.”
“Lucas, I’ve told you nothing will make me run. Just tell me,” I begged through clenched teeth and fisted my hands in a vain attempt to hide my shaking.
His head shook sadly. “That was before. If you need me to stop, say it. If you need a break, tell me. If you need to leave . . . know that I love you, but I won’t chase you,” he choked out, and dropped his gaze to the floor.
I waited as an eternity passed in silence, my heart racing as those fated words played in my head again and again.
“I won’t chase you.”
When Lucas looked up at me again, my faint gasp at the haunted look on his face tore through the silence in the kitchen.