“Yes.” I wasn’t starting this relationship with any more lies.
“Then why in the hell do you want to work here? Who wants to live with a miserable fuck like me?”
“Me,” I answered simply.
“Why?”
“I need a job. You need my services. The situation is perfect for both of us right now.”
“Jesus! Are you always this bossy?”
I bit back a smile. “Most of the time. And I don’t consider it bossy. I like to think I’m assertive.”
“You’re annoying as hell,” he said with a scowl.
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard somebody tell me that, so the insult didn’t hit home. It rolled right off my back quite easily.
I moved back and forth from the dresser and closet to my suitcase, putting away clothing. If Xander wanted me gone, he’d have to physically overpower me and throw me out. “You’re not exactly pleasant, either.”
That was putting it mildly. Xander was a jerk, but no matter how much he vented or grumbled, I was fairly certain he wasn’t violent. He was a big man, and he could have very easily manhandled me out the door. But for some reason, he hadn’t. Well, at least not yet.
“How much money do you need to leave?” he rumbled. “I’ll pay it. I’ll give you the cash just to get you the hell out of my house. I don’t want you here.”
I turned to him. “I don’t want money for nothing. I can’t take it. All I want is honest work. What do you care if I clean your house?”
His body was tense and defensive as he answered, “What female doesn’t want money? I’m offering to pay you without you having to do the job. A year’s pay. That’s fair.”
It was more than generous, which told me that Xander had a conscience, but it wasn’t happening. I’d always had a good work ethic, and I wasn’t leaving. I was staying here, no matter what it took to keep me from being thrown out bodily.
“I won’t do it. I’ve never taken anything I didn’t earn, and I’m not starting now,” I answered stubbornly.
I sized him up now that I was facing him. Even with the scars on his face, he was still handsome. For me, the scars were a symbol of his courage, and just made him look more rugged and powerful. I was guessing he had a workout room somewhere in the home judging by his ripped appearance and powerful biceps. The T-shirt he was wearing did very little to hide how muscular he was, or that he was obviously in very good physical shape.
His hair was a little bit shaggy and long, and his jaw was covered in dark scruff. As I looked up at him, I could tell he was over six-foot tall. Usually, I wasn’t the kind of woman who liked tattoos, but the intricate, black markings on his biceps actually suited him. His eyes were dark brown and currently angry as hell. Really, the whole Xander package should have been frightening, but he wasn’t. Not to me.
I couldn’t exactly put a finger on why he didn’t scare me. It was completely gut instinct since he hadn’t given me a single reason why I shouldn’t be running away as fast as my little white sandals would carry me.
His voice was still belligerent as he said, “I don’t want you here.”
“So you’ve said. Then what do you want?” I asked. “You’re obviously not happy.”
“What the hell do you know about happiness?” he growled.
I knew quite a bit about it, actually. I’d spent most of my life without it, so I’d learned to appreciate every single bit of happiness I could get now that I was all grown up and in charge of my own life. “I know it isn’t always easy to find,” I confessed. “Xander, just let me stay. Give me a week. Tell me what you want, and I’ll try to accommodate you.”
“Enough whiskey to make me forget who I am.”
“Can’t do that.”
“You asked what would make me happy,” he argued.
“Think of something else. I’ll cook. I’ll clean.”
“The only two things that I want right now are to get laid or get drunk or stoned.”
I was ready for his comment. Over the course of my conversations with Micah and Julian, I knew that was often Xander’s irritated response.
Time to call him on his statement. I couldn’t give him the substances he wanted to escape, but I could grant his other wish. And I’d do it if it just kept me here for a while.
“Okay,” I agreed compliantly, then turned back to my suitcase to finish unpacking.
“What do you mean by…okay?” His voice sounded slightly confused and taken aback. “What kind of response is that?”
I went to hang up a sundress, then went back for some jeans. “I agree. I can’t give you the alcohol. But I get wanting to have sex. It’s a normal bodily urge for a guy your age. I get it.”
“I’m glad you get some, because I don’t,” he said with a humorless laugh.
I ignored the fact that he’d misquoted the words I’d said. I reached into the back zipper pocket of my suitcase, and then turned back toward Xander again.
“Here.” I shoved the box into his hand.
“What the hell is this?” He accepted it like it was a snake.
“Condoms. Safe sex.”
He tossed the box back on the bed. “Keep it. No woman would have me right now.”
“I will,” I offered. “If you were to be nicer to me, I’d have sex with you. I find you attractive. But I don’t do stinky guys who haven’t showered.”
His eyes grew wider as he stared at me like I was crazy. “Lady, you’ve got a problem.”
I shrugged. “You think so? What’s wrong with being honest? You’d be pretty hot if you’d shower and take care of yourself.”
“What about all the things women care about?” He looked seriously confused as he gaped at me.
“Love? Dating? Flowers?”
“Yeah, yeah. All of that stuff? I don’t do that stuff. I fuck. That’s it.” He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
“Guys have sex just for pleasure, right? Is it so bad that I’m willing to do the same thing?”
Actually, I didn’t run around looking for a guy just to get laid, and every one of the few sexual encounters I’d had in my life had meant something to me. I didn’t have nostrings-attached, casual sex. I’d never experienced the visceral, immediate reaction of my body the way it was responding to Xander. I had a vibrator to satisfy my needs when I wasn’t in a relationship. But I wasn’t about to let Xander know that.
“All women want something,” he grumbled.
“Not me. No strings attached. I just need sexual chemistry.” It was every guy’s dream, right? A woman who wanted nothing but sex? I knew Xander needed a whole hell of a lot more than that, but I’d start there.
“And you feel that? With me?” He sounded like he didn’t believe what he was hearing.
My heart clenched as I recognized the slight vulnerability in his tone. I was attracted to him, and I wasn’t all hung up on needing a committed relationship to have sex. My past had made me learn to never to take a single day for granted. Even though I’d never done it before, I was willing to try no pressure sex with Xander.
I was just that desperate for him to let me stay.
“Yes.” I didn’t elaborate.
“You realize you’re crazy?” he asked hesitantly.