“That old hag won’t die,” Buck said. “Paul knew how to pick his women, and he picked a good one.”
Paul was my dad’s name; he used to run the gang here. Buck had always been his second, and when Dad finally kicked the bucket, all his assets went straight to Buck: the bar, his bike, and, to some extent, me.
“Whatever happens, I just don’t want to be here too long. I got a new life to get back to.”
Buck slammed the glass he was cleaning on the counter so hard that it shattered.
“Why the hell you gotta go sayin’ stuff like that? You just got back, and you’re already fixin’ to leave.”
“I’m not fixin’ to leave nowhere yet. But my eye is always on the door,” I replied.
“I’ll never get what made you take off the first time.”
“The train of girls that was always walkin’ out of your bedroom would be a good place to look.”
“I quit all that, and you know it,” he said.
“I never saw any of that.”
“Well, maybe if you stuck around like you were supposed to, you would’ve seen it.”
I turned to look him in the eye. He still had that soulful glare; I could never tell if he was getting ready to break something or kiss me, but sometimes I was sure it was both.
“I’m here now, Buck.”
He started sweeping the shards of glass from the bar with his hand.
“That’s right, you are,” he said.
The men around the bar seemed entranced by our conversation, but as I looked around at them, they all did their best to return to their normal conversations.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
He leaned over the bar, which cracked and groaned under his weight, and whispered in my ear.
“Now that you’re here, I’m going to make you remember why it was so hard to leave. You always get me hard when you walk into the bar in those tight jeans.”
I wanted to have him, but I knew if I did, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I needed to keep that part of my past closed. His boyish charm was the hardest to resist.
I leaned over and whispered a reply in his ear.
“I can’t do it, Buck. I can’t go back to that life.”
He stood back up only to lean on the back bar. I made the mistake of letting my real feelings show in my eyes, and he knew it. I’d always had large, expressive eyes, which were both a blessing and a curse. Buck told me once that he could tell what was on my mind by what showed through my eyes. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew it to be true.
“What the hell, Tara,” he said in frustration.
“I know what I want, and I know what I need,” I said. “You’re what I want, but not what I need.”
He snapped his fingers to a couple of guys in the back of the bar, and the two of them hopped right up.
“I’m goin’ for a ride, and this time I’m ridin’ solo. You’ll come around, but I can’t be here waitin’ for you till you do.”
He stomped his way out of the bar, and my eyes followed him. Buck climbed onto the largest bike outside, beautiful and black glossed. The bike was still covered in scratches and dings from road wear and tear, though. It roared to life, a deafening rumble that shook my glass, and he pulled away.
“You probably shouldn’t have made him angry,” said one of the guys behind the bar.
“He’ll go off and do something stupid like he always does. Except this time I hope it doesn’t get anyone killed in the process,” said the other biker.
“I’m leavin’ my number. If he does something stupid, you make sure to call me.” I polished off my beer and tossed some cash onto the counter.
I had a feeling things were about to get a lot worse.
2.
I wondered how long I would have to wait before getting a call. It was nearly one in the morning when the phone rang.
“Hello?” I said, fighting away sleep.
“Tara, you better get down here quick. It’s not good,” said one of the bikers from earlier.
“I’m on my way,” I replied.
I threw on my clothes from earlier in the day and hopped back on my bike. I walked a couple of blocks down the road so that I wouldn’t wake up my momma when I started the bike.
I was reminded again of when I used to have to sneak out of the house late at night for just this same reason. Buck was more than just a trouble maker; he was a trouble magnet. I couldn’t remember a day when he didn’t go off and do something stupid.
I rode swiftly along the road, taking in the night breeze. The crisp air stung my lungs, and I loved every second. The moon illuminated the road with its faint blue hue.
When I pulled up to the bar, I saw that everyone was there already. I was the last to arrive.
There was a lot of shouting, and I couldn’t make out one bit of it. Things quieted down a little when people noticed me walking in. Buck was sitting at the bar in the center of the commotion.
“This ain’t that bad. Don’t make such a fuss about it,” shouted Buck. His clothes were more disheveled than usual, and I knew what the meant.
“Who the hell did you sleep with now?” I asked sharply.