Shaking her head, Claire swallowed. For a small sliver of time her thoughts had been dark: of dark eyes that threatened and demanded. It was a rabbit hole she refused to explore. Turning, she bravely looked up into those same eyes; however, the eyes before her were no longer hungry. They were dark with love and compassion, understanding and kinship. They were her drug of choice, the force that kept her grounded while allowing her to fly. Shaking her head, she replied, “I was just thinking. That’s all.” Her answer was neither a lie nor the truth.
Tony gently reached for her chin. “You’ve been quiet all night. How did your session with Dr. Brown go today?”
Lifting herself on the tips of her toes, Claire kissed Tony’s lips. The connection as they touched was the electricity she needed to jolt her back to her senses. The warmth traveled from her lips to her core confirming that the man who held her close was her other half, what she needed and wanted every day of her life. The two years they’d been apart had been hell. She wouldn’t allow that to ever happen again—she couldn’t.
Reaching for her shoulders, Tony eased Claire away and stared deep into her eyes. As much as she now loved his dark, penetrating gaze, it also scared her. Not that she feared him. She feared his knowledge of her, his ability to see deep into her soul like no one else. Quickly she diverted her eyes and leaned into his chest.
“We talked about my further decreasing my medications. Dr. Brown said the process needs to be monitored with blood work, but she said that if I think I’m ready, she’ll support me.”
His arms wrapped around her petite frame. “There’s no rush. Making sure you’re all right is most important. Maybe you should wait a while.”
Claire looked back up. “It’s what I want. I’m tired of the way they make me feel. I want to be me—totally me.”
“You are you,” Tony encouraged. “Listen to your doctor.”
“I am.” Claire’s neck stiffened and her tone dripped with her pent-up angst. “Talk to her if you want. She said it could be done. We just need to monitor everything. I’m not crazy,” she added defensively.
His warm embrace pulled her closer. “I didn’t say that. No one said that. Well…” He chuckled. “I suppose there are quite a few who’ve thought we’re both crazy for being back together, but for the most part, those people don’t really know us. If you have to be crazy to let me back into your life…” He gently kissed her lips. “…then, Mrs. Rawlings, I’m glad you are.”
Pulling her hand, Tony led her away from the window toward the sofa. “How about if I start a fire, or are you ready for bed?”
Claire tilted her head to the side. “A fire would be nice. I’d like to talk for a little bit.”
“Or,” he said with more than a hint of his devilish grin, “we could do something else?”
It was the tone that stirred her, the one she craved. Yet right now she needed to face her fears. Dr. Brown was right. Having a baby wasn’t a unilateral decision. Claire needed to be honest with her husband. Feigning a smile, Claire replied, “Let’s talk first. You can start the fire, and I’ll get ready for bed.”
Tony nodded as he turned toward the large fireplace. Though it wasn’t as massive as the one in their old estate, it had the similarity that always caused Claire to pause: her portrait hung directly above the mantle. Nichol called it Claire’s princess picture. Perhaps she wasn’t truly a princess; however, she’d felt like one on that day. Their first wedding was like a fairytale, fast and make-believe. What they shared at that time wasn’t like the love they had today. Their paths had taken them on some dark journeys and somehow they found their way back together. Their love today was deeper and more intense than it had been. It had been tested by fire—like the one Tony was building—and came back stronger.
“Claire?”
Her attention shifted to her husband. “Yes?”
“You haven’t moved. Didn’t you say you were going to get ready for bed?”
She looked down at herself. “Yes, I guess I’m thinking about too much. I’ll be right back.”