“Jury’s still out,” she said with a laugh. “So, you’re feeling better?”
“It’s been a few days, and I’m out of ICU. No brain swelling, so they think I might be able to go home tomorrow.”
The phone in my room rang, and I ignored it. “Did you want me to get that?” Grace asked.
“No.”
“Oh, okay.” We sat in silence until it stopped ringing.
“So Texas?” I asked, trying to move conversation along.
She nodded. “Yeah, they need to poke me like a lab rat.”
“You are the miracle,” I said with a smile. Maybe it was a little forced.
“Not really.” Her smile fell. “The treatment made it possible for me to wake up, that’s true…but…”
“But you were always aware,” I finished.
Her eyes snapped to mine. “Yes. How did you know?”
“You told Morgan that One Tree Hill had been played out and the last season ruined it.”
She blinked at me.
“The last season of that show came out while you were in your coma. Mia had them play it for you after she read about that guy who’d woken up after a twenty-year coma or something, and he’d been forced to watch Barney.”
“Oh. No cartoons, those were awful.”
“How long were you aware for?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. It was gradual, and time started to jump a lot. I think about two years in, maybe? I was trapped in my own body. When Gray came, begging me to wake up, it was the worst. I loved his visits and I dreaded them because I couldn’t talk to him, or help him with what he was going through.”
“Losing you was hell for him.”
A nurse knocked on the door. “Ms. Fitzgerald? There’s a Grayson Masters on the phone for you.”
I swallowed and avoided Grace’s eyes. Awkward. “Could you tell him that I’m sleeping?”
“Sure thing,” she said, and left.
“He’s going out of his mind. Maybe you could call him?”
I shook my head. “No. I need a clean break. He’s better off with you, no matter what he’s thinking right now. You’re his miracle. His Grace. If I see him, talk to him…I just can’t.”
“You love him.”
“Deeply,” I answered, and then studied my blanket. “This has got to be the most awkward conversation ever.”
She laughed. “No. Try having constant one-sided conversations for years, and then we can chat awkwardness.”
“True. Wait. If you were aware all that time, you met me. You knew about us, and you still kissed him.” I took my hand back.
She swallowed and looked away for a moment. “Yes. People do things they’re not proud of when they’re scared. I woke up and everything was different. The whole world had moved on while I’d stayed stagnant. Gray was the one stable thing I’d always had. I should never have kissed him, or even come to Alabama. It wasn’t fair to you, or him, and I am truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me.” Her voice faded to a whisper.
“Grace, he belongs with you. I’m doing everything I can to walk away from him for his own good, and for yours. Please don’t make it harder for me.”
“Well, I’m trying to do the same. Especially now. He’s changed so much. He’s harder, more distant, not as quick to laugh. He didn’t used to be like that. Oh, and he used to love raspberries! I put them on his cheesecake at dinner with my folks after the beach, and he didn’t even eat them.”
“The seeds get stuck in his teeth,” I explained.
She nodded. “Right. What I’m saying is that I’m the same Grace, for the most part, but he’s not the same Gray. And as much as I love him, as my best friend, I don’t think we’ll ever be more. I want him to be happy, and that goes for you, too.”
“There’s too much history between you. You have nicknames for each other, and you know him on a level I never can.” And that hurt more than anything, knowing there were pieces of Grayson I’d never have when he owned every inch of me.
“He calls you ‘squall,’ you just don’t know it,” she said.