Three more drinks in, and he leaned in and kissed me. I knew it was coming this time, so I was prepared. He was gentle. No rushing me. No frantic hands running all over my body. It was almost as if he was worried he shouldn’t be doing it. Our lips met, and we both stayed as still as possible, both breathing erratically, my pulse thumping all over my body. Slowly, he reached up and pressed the palm of his hand against the side of my face. He made a low humming sound, close to a growl, and kissed me harder, parting my lips so he could slide his tongue into my mouth.
This kiss was a slow burn that sank deep down into my bones and settled there. I felt like I was falling into him. Falling backward. Falling, one way or another, and Sully’s arms were around me, holding me tight, ready to catch me. Such a safe feeling, being held in his arms. He was so damned strong. I knew I didn’t need to fear anything if he was holding me, and that in itself was a dangerous thought. He wouldn’t be holding onto me forever. Soon enough he’d be letting me go, and I’d have to figure out how to do the same. It felt impossible to even consider such a thing right now, though, with him stroking his hands lightly over my hair, his mouth working against mine.
“That feeling,” he panted against my mouth. “You know that feeling, where you just can’t seem to get close enough to someone? I never really knew what people were talking about until now, Lang. I wanna…I don’t even know what I want to do. I just know that I don’t want you leaving here tonight. Even if you are sleeping in another room.”
“Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”
Our faces were so close, only a few inches apart. Looking into his eyes this closely, it was possible to see all of the details I’d missed before. Caramel and gold flecks rimmed his pupils, lightening his eyes, softening them a little. They were so many different colors, all blended and painted together to create the most beautiful chocolate tone. It was more than that, though. Whenever I’d had reason to spend time with Sully before, his intensity had terrified me, and I’d ended up looking away from him. I’d never spent long enough looking at him to see how the microscopic changes to his expression screamed so loudly of what he was thinking or what he was feeling. Now, I was seeing it all.
He was fearless. He was confident. He was strong, and he was honest. He was also a little broken—a truth that he didn’t mind owning. Carefully he ran the tip of his index finger over my forehead, between my eyebrows, down the bridge of my nose. His finger lingered over my lips, and I had to fight the urge to dart my tongue out and lick him. A strange urge to have. I wanted to so badly, but I behaved myself. Over my lips, then, and over my chin, running his finger down the column of my neck to my collarbone. “I’m not used to this,” he said softly. “I don’t know how to handle you. You seem so…fragile.”
“I’m stronger than I look,” I whispered back.
“I don’t doubt it.”
“Then you don’t need to handle me with kid gloves, Sully. I won’t break.”
“You don’t know how rough I can be,” he said, his voice a low rumble that vibrated against my chest. A rush of desire slammed through me, taking me by surprise. I’d never felt anything like it before. My mind was already imagining the places Sully might take me, all the sensations he’d be able to ignite in my body without even trying. I felt drunk on him, my head reeling from the scent and the warmth and the feel of his hard packed chest resting flush against mine.
“You’re looking a little red there, Lang. Are you cold?” he asked. There was a wicked glint in his eye, though—he knew I was far too hot if anything.
“No. I’m fine. Just tired. Maybe you could show me where I’ll be sleeping?” I’d found his bedroom just fine when I’d needed to get fresh clothes for him a few weeks back. I wanted him to take me upstairs, though. I wanted to enjoy the last remaining hours of Christmas Day wrapped up in him, naked, all pretentions and inhibitions gone. Sully rubbed the pad of his thumb against my bottom lip, staring at it, apparently fascinated.
“Okay,” he mouthed. “Then let’s go.”
My body hummed as he led me upstairs. I was at odds with myself, shaking with nerves and shaking with anticipation, and just shaking for the hell of it. Sully opened the door to his bedroom, and then dipped to kiss me lightly on the lips.
“Goodnight, Lang. If you need anything, I’ll just be up one floor in the observatory, okay?”
I didn’t know what to say. Dumbly I nodded, trying not to let my confusion show. He wasn’t going to sleep with me? We weren’t finally going to have sex? Sully kissed my neck, his teeth gently nipping at my flushed skin, and then he backed away. He disappeared up the winding stairs that continued up to the observation deck of the lighthouse, and I stood by his bedroom door, paralyzed.
What the hell?