“You don’t see it that way?”
“No. I’m almost twenty-seven years old, and I’ve been playing hockey most of my life. I’ve loved it. It would’ve been nice to make it to the top, but my dream was to play pro hockey, and I did. And thanks to the shitty salary, I got to play purely for love of the game.”
Orion grinned and picked up a puck from his desk, turning it over in his hand. “Yeah, I remember those days. When your practice clothes are held together with duct tape and you can’t always afford a new stick when you need one.”
“I’d love to coach at some point. Maybe youth hockey. This isn’t it for me and hockey for sure.”
“No, it’s definitely not. I didn’t ask you to come in so I could ask about your plans for the season.”
“Oh.” I furrowed my brow, confused.
“I wanted to tell you that Chicago wants you.”
If my bladder had been full, I would’ve pissed myself. I just looked across the desk at my coach, too shocked to even speak.
“No more duct tape for you. You’re in a great spot to get a nice contract. They want you to start training camp with the team.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“I fucking am.” He grinned and stood, coming around the desk to shake my hand.
“I don’t . . .” I shook his hand mechanically, my head spinning. “I don’t know what to say.”
“This is it, Bennett. The chance to play at the highest level of the game.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Yeah, but . . . the timing is really bad.”
“How so?”
“I’ve got a four-week-old.”
“Charlotte and the baby can move with you.”
I shook my head. “She won’t go.”
“What?” Orion practically yelled. “The woman who doesn’t want you to give up your dream won’t go?”
“She doesn’t want to get married or live together.”
“But you live with her now.”
I exhaled deeply. “Not officially. My stuff is still at my apartment.”
“Surely she’ll understand this isn’t a job transfer. It’s a big-ass promotion. And there’s no requirement that you guys get married for you to take it.”
“It’s a huge commitment.”
“Marriage?”
“No,” I said. “Chicago. I couldn’t go there and half-ass it. I’d have to be all in. And I don’t see how I could do that and still be the father and partner I want to be.”
“Bennett.” Orion leaned on the front of his desk and looked down at me. “Pro athletes have families. You can make it work. Hire help.”
“Maybe . . . they’d still want me in six months. If I stayed on as a Flyer.”
Orion’s eyes bulged. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You don’t say no to this. Or maybe later.”
“Yeah, I do.” I lowered my brows in a serious look. “A year ago I would’ve been on my way to Chicago five minutes after you told me. But I have a family now. Charlotte’s going back to work in four weeks. We both have to make sacrifices to be the parents we want to be, and this is mine.”
“This is insane. You’re going to turn down ten times the amount you make together right now so that she can work for the county and you can work at a lumberyard?”
I scowled. “You don’t want me back?”
“I’m pretty sure I’ll beat your ass on to the injured reserve list if you come back here.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I know where your head’s at, okay? I had to give up the NHL. You don’t. You’re passing on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
Orion had retired after a short NHL career to donate a kidney to his nephew. I’d thought that he, of all people, would understand where I was coming from.
“I can’t,” I said, bowing my head with disappointment. “I’d be sorry if I said yes. With Charlotte and Charlie here and me there, I’d be miserable. No amount of money or fame would make up for it.”
Orion stood and waved an arm through the air, clearly frustrated. “Is that it, then? Are you positive? You can take some time to think about it. Maybe talk it over with Charlotte.”
“I’m positive.” I glanced at the clock on his wall and stood up. “I have to get to work.”
He nodded, disappointment all over his face. As I walked out of his office, I felt a pang of sadness myself, but it was no longer myself or my coach I refused to let down. Charlotte and Charlie mattered most to me.
Charlotte
Charlie slept for an hour in his cradle before he woke up, wanting to eat again. When I picked him up, he frowned and then his little mouth rooted frantically.
“Shh, shhh, it’s okay,” I said softly. “I’m breaking out the boob right now. It’s okay, buddy.”
I got him latched on and sat down on the couch when there was a knock at the door.
“Of course,” I said to Charlie. “Perfect timing. But we can’t ignore it because it could be Publisher’s Clearing House, right?”
I used my free hand to toss on the cotton poncho thing I wore to breastfeed in front of anyone but Bennett. When I peeked through the peephole, I saw Liam standing in front of the door, his arms folded.