Charlotte squeezed my hand as another contraction set in. The doctor helped talk her through it, and by the time she sank back against the pillows, her face was covered with a layer of sweat. The nurse wiped it away and Charlotte caught her breath.
“Just about there,” the doctor said as she pulled her gloved hand out from beneath the sheet covering Charlotte’s legs. “Are you ready to push?”
“Yes.” Charlotte reached for me. “I want you closer. Will you hold on to my shoulders?”
“Of course, babe.” I leaned closer and held on to her, whispering encouraging words in her ear as she cried out with every push.
Every time she sank back against me in between pushing, I wished I could infuse her with strength. Seeing her pushed to the brink of pain and exhaustion delivering our baby was emotional for me. Even after several hours, she was giving it her all.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” I said softly in her ear.
She didn’t respond, probably because she couldn’t. I could feel her body growing limper with every push. After a while, I was holding her up while she pushed.
Dr. Chung’s brow was furrowed.
“Come on, Charlotte,” she said. “One more time.”
“One more,” I said in Charlotte’s ear. “Come on, baby. You’re so close.”
Dr. Chung’s eyes locked with mine for just a second. After Charlotte mustered a push and panted with exertion, she spoke to both of us.
“Not close enough. It’s been so long that your body is too exhausted to continue.”
Charlotte gave a mournful cry and a tear ran out the corner of one eye. “No, I’ll . . . try harder. I can do it.”
“It’s not your fault. You did great. But it’s time for a C-section.”
My heart pounded hard and fast. Charlotte was too weak to even protest, though I knew she’d had her heart set on delivering the baby with no surgical intervention.
“It’s definitely necessary?” I asked Dr. Chung.
“Definitely. We’re taking her in now.”
“Can I come with her?” My voice broke as a nurse eased me off the bed so she could move the bed rail up.
“Yes. Give us a couple minutes to prep her and a nurse will come out and get you.”
I rubbed a hand over my face, feeling sick as they rolled her bed out of the room. My vibrant Charlotte was worn down to nearly nothing.
“Fuck,” I whispered, staring up at the ceiling. Tears burned my eyes.
I went to the waiting room and saw my mom in a chair across from Liam. The hopeful look on her face fell away when she took a look at me.
“What is it?” she asked.
“C-section. She’s too exhausted to push anymore.”
Liam stood, his eyes locking with mine.
“What’s that mean?” he asked frantically. “They’re cutting the baby out of her?”
“It’s a very safe, routine procedure,” my mom said to both of us. “It’ll be okay.”
“I have to wait for them to come get me,” I said, the helplessness choking me. “I haven’t even pissed this whole time because she didn’t want me to leave her.”
Mom put her arm around my back. “Honey, listen to me. This will be over in a matter of minutes. It’s what’s safest for her and the baby. Trust that the doctor will take care of them, okay?”
I paced around the waiting room, unashamed when tears fell onto my cheeks. I’d never even considered that this would happen.
“Mr. Morse?” a nurse dressed in scrubs said.
I followed her to a prep room, where I had to scrub and put on a gown. When I got into the operating room, I went right to Charlotte and smoothed the sweaty hair back from her brow.
“I’m here, baby. It’s almost over. He’s almost here.”
She murmured something unintelligible. The doctor and nurses went to work, and I said a silent prayer for the two people I needed to be okay.
“Here he is,” the doctor said a minute later. She held up our slippery-looking, screaming boy, who had a head full of dark hair.
Charlotte smiled, tears silently streaming from her eyes. I tried to speak, but only a choked sob came out. They took him aside to clean him up.
“He’s beautiful, Char,” I said. “So perfect. You did amazing.”
“Let’s name him . . . Christopher,” she murmured softly.
“I was thinking Charlie,” I said. “After you.”
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah. Charlie Holloway Morse.”
“Bennett.” She closed her eyes and smiled again. “I love you so much. And I love our Charlie.”
“So do I, babe.” I kissed her brow and looked past the sheet at the doctor. “Everything’s good?”
“Yes. I’m stitching her up. You’ll be able to hold your son in just a minute here.”
When they put him in my arms, I bent down and tilted my arms so Charlotte was face-to-face with him. She cooed and kissed him but was too weak to hold him just yet.
I rocked my bundled son and took him outside the operating room for a quick peek from my mom and Liam.
My mom cried, as expected. But what surprised me were the sniffles and tears from my tattooed, badass roommate.
“Man, he’s perfect,” Liam said, wiping his cheek. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. We named him Charlie. Charlie Holloway Morse.”