Before I Knew (The Cabots #1)

“Red tape.” His dad cleared his throat twice. “We’ll be here forever.”

“We wouldn’t be here at all if you weren’t such a bully.” Alec finally looked his dad in the eye. “Considering how many things you’ve smashed in my lifetime, it’s a wonder this is our first visit to the ER.”

“Don’t start with me.” His father stood, crossing his arms. For most of Alec’s life, he’d found that posture intimidating. Today he almost itched to take the man down. “If anyone’s at fault, it’s you, for bringing Colby back into our lives and starting this blasted foundation.”

No point in arguing with him, because crazy never listened to reason. Alec’s failed plans to reunite his family brought back unpleasant memories of the way he’d lost Une Bouchée, too. Not that that mattered at this point. His priority now would be keeping his mother safe. “Mom’s coming home with me tonight.”

“Like hell.” His father’s face darkened.

“Look around, Dad. You’re in no position to argue. And if you try to stop me, I’ll press charges.”

His father peered up at him, his eyes filling with something other than disdain for a change. Alec recognized that look, actually, because he’d envied it whenever his dad had bestowed it upon Joe.

Respect.

It figured that the first time Alec earned it—something he’d sought for years—it didn’t thaw one bit of his ice-cold feelings for his father.

“You can’t press charges. I didn’t do anything to you. Besides, your mother knows it was an accident.”

An ironic justification.

“Funny how that works,” Alec snorted, forcing his father to meet his gaze. “Hitting Mom with a vase was an accident, but Joe’s taking a dare was homicide?”

“Dammit, Alec.” His father jutted out his chin, the vein in his temple pulsing visibly. Alec thought his dad’s head might actually explode like a potato in a hot oven. “Don’t start defending Mark Baxter.”

“Just calling it like I see it. Mark’s not the problem. You are.”

“Me?” he huffed.

“Yes. And since you’re so intent on assigning blame for Joe’s death, then you ought to take a look in the mirror.”

“You want to blame me?” His brows rose so high on his forehead that they looked like part of his hairline. “If it weren’t for your girlfriend and her husband—”

“Mark made an idiotic dare. One he quite obviously regretted. But that isn’t the whole story.” The day’s events had pushed Alec beyond reasoning. “Actually, you and I both share some blame.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

They were in a hospital, possibly the safest place for Alec’s confession. With everything falling apart, the time had come to man up and get years of pain and guilt off his chest.

“When I was little, Joe thought I was funny and smart. He used to follow me around. Even sat and did puzzles with me. I’m sure you must remember that.”

He couldn’t tell if his dad had tuned him out or just become lost in his own memories. He wasn’t screaming, so Alec continued. “We were friends, but the older I got, the more it bothered you that I wasn’t athletic or aggressive. Instead of accepting me, you tried to bully me into being more like you. When that didn’t work, you teased me until it became a bad habit. You taught Joe to disrespect me as being weak, and that drove the wedge between him and me.”

His dad’s menacing-cop face surfaced. Alec should’ve been afraid, but calmness settled over him. It was almost as if Joe had stepped into his body as he recited the events that took place with Joe and Beth that night two years ago. With each word, his dad’s face turned deeper shades of purple, but he pressed on. “For two years I’ve felt guilty because of that fight. But as awful as I behaved that night, none of it would’ve happened if you hadn’t rewarded Joe with affection every time he teased me. Joe learned how to avoid your disdain by distancing himself from me and being the kind of tough guy you wanted for a son. So if my lie that night emasculated Joe, that’s only because Joe took all his cues on masculinity from you.

“And even if that fight had never happened, Joe probably still would’ve jumped off that cliff knowing how cool you’d think it was when he came home and told you about it. Let’s be honest. If Joe had survived, you would’ve been bragging about that dare. So, in a way, I can trace Joe’s death right back to you and your inability to appreciate me for who I am.”

Alec watched his dad blink as if he’d been the one clocked by the vase. For a split second, he wondered if one of them would throw a punch. Then the doctor walked in. Doctor? Hell. Dr. Kang looked younger than Alec, and even more exhausted, if that were possible.

“We’ve looked at the scans. There’s no skull fracture, so your wife’s fall won’t require any intervention other than stitches to close the gash. She has a mild concussion, so she should be cocooned for a week—no stimulation, TV, radio, reading. Just rest and dim lighting.”

Her fall? Not even a doctor that young could buy that story. Alec clenched his jaw to keep from calling his dad out. The only thing stopping him was the fact that it would make things worse for his mom.

“Thanks, Doc. When can I see her?” Alec’s father asked, still appearing out of sorts, which meant he was still processing Alec’s tirade.

“The nurse will be in with release paperwork and care instructions. If you need anything, call this number.” The doctor handed him a card. “If you notice symptoms like vomiting, dizziness, or double vision, bring her back.”

“Okay, thanks.” His father shook the doctor’s hand. After the doctor left, he raked his hand through his hair.

“Give that to me.” Alec reached for the card.

“I’ll be taking care of your mother. Once she finds out about how you treated your brother, I doubt she’ll want to see you for a while.”

That might be true, but that would be her choice, not his father’s.

“I don’t trust you with her.” Alec glared at the man he’d forgiven so often throughout the years. “Honestly, maybe I’ll file a restraining order on her behalf. If you won’t get counseling to deal with your grief, that’s your choice. But I already told you, I’m not going to sit by while Mom’s safety is in doubt.”

A plump, elderly nurse disrupted their stare-down. She crooked her finger at Alec’s dad. “Your wife’s ready to be released. I just need to go over this paperwork with you.”

Alec ducked out of the waiting room while they spoke, sneaking back to find his mom sitting at the edge of the bed, slipping on her shoes. She hesitated to make eye contact with him, as if she should be ashamed of what her husband did.

He crouched down, setting one hand on the mattress. “Mom, I want you to stay with me for a while.”

She sighed. “Where’s your father?”

“With the nurse, signing your release papers.”

“I don’t know, Alec.” She touched her bandaged stitches. “I just don’t know.”

“Be honest with me. Has this happened before?”

Jamie Beck's books