Defeated, she scrubbed her hands over her face and followed Alec into the kitchen. He emptied the coconut water, blueberries, and ice into a blender, then grabbed a banana and whipped up a smoothie, secretly hoping the blender whir would wake his dad. It didn’t, so he covered the drink and stuck it in the refrigerator while his mother retrieved a box of chamomile tea.
“Want a cup?”
“No, thanks.” He took the box and nudged her toward a kitchen chair. “I’ll fix it for you.”
She sat in silence, trapped in her own thoughts, staring into space. The woman had already lost one son and now confronted a crumbling marriage. Both events could be traced, one way or another, back to Alec, which sucked the fight out of him.
“Do you want me to give up Colby to pacify Dad?” he finally asked, giving voice to the concern that had been running through his mind for the past forty-five minutes.
“I wouldn’t ask that. I want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, but we both know Dad expects it. Things here are bad enough without me making things worse for you.”
She didn’t respond because she didn’t like to lie.
He added sugar and cream to her tea, wishing it were that easy to make her life as sweet and mellow. He set the cup down and, sitting across from her, drummed his fingers on the table. “What can I do to make that man happy?”
With a blank stare fixed on her face, she shook her head. “No one can make him happy. He has to find his own way there.”
“I think seeing me makes having lost Joe worse for him.” Accepting that stark truth was no easy thing. The too-tender scars of rejection ran deep, no matter how tough Alec talked. “It might be easier on him if I stayed away.”
“Don’t leave me, Alec. Having you around is the only thing keeping me from falling apart.” A weak smile contradicted her watery eyes. “Everyone said that time would heal us, but it isn’t working out that way.”
“If the fund is going to cause more problems, I’ll take Joe out of it.”
“No. The fund is a lovely idea. Mark and Joe were good friends. If you can gather their friends and others together to help people in crisis, then that’s the right thing to do. I don’t want our family dysfunction to keep either of us from doing what’s right. In fact, maybe I can help plan the fund-raiser. I used to be good at that back when you boys were younger.”
Alec smiled, remembering how involved she’d been in every organization, from the school, to Boy Scouts, to the Portland Art Museum. “You like putting the squeeze on donors, don’t you?”
That earned him a genuine smile, erasing ten years from her face. “My year as Parent-Teacher Council president raised more funds than in any year prior.”
Alec enjoyed that childhood memory. Her committee had raised enough money to stock the school computer lab with new Apple computers. He still remembered the pride he’d felt when other kids were dazzled by the extravagant equipment.
“Can you work with Colby?” His workdays were so long, he wouldn’t be as available during the planning phase.
“Yes.” She shoved her half-empty cup aside. “Colby loved Joe. Between him and Mark, she’s lost as much as we have. It’s time we all help each other heal.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Alec glanced toward the living room, where his father’s snoring tore through the room like a buzz saw. “How will Dad react to you helping us?”
“I’ll handle him.”
The steely resolve in her voice didn’t ease his concern. “That doesn’t really answer my question.”
“He may break things in this house, but after all the domestic-abuse calls he’s handled in his career, he’d never make himself the culprit.”
An arrest would humiliate him in front of his brotherhood, Alec conceded. His dad clung to his reputation almost as tightly as he did to Joe’s memory. But would the threat of shame be enough to keep him from snapping under the pressure of unmitigated, raw grief?
Snoring continued rumbling in the other room.
“Sounds like he’s out for the night.” Alec stretched to fend off exhaustion. He’d barely slept in the past twenty-four hours. All he really wanted now was Colby, but she’d gone home.
A thirty-minute drive.
Decision made, he stood. “Add more ice to the smoothie when he wakes up, and make him drink it. Coconut water has lots of electrolytes.”
“He doesn’t deserve you, you know.” She clasped his hand. “Most sons in your shoes would’ve written him off by now.”
Her proud smile made him cringe. His dad was far from perfect, but so was he. His mom didn’t need to know about Joe and Beth as long as, eventually, his good deeds made up for his lies.
Chapter Fifteen
“I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” Colby answered the door wearing pink cotton pajamas with white piping. Not sexy by most standards, but Alec was so grateful for a peek at the intimate details of her life that her pajamas turned him on. “Did you text?”
“My phone’s at home.” He held up his hands when she frowned. “In my defense, I ran out of my house in a hurry. Then I just wanted to get to you. Is it okay that I showed up uninvited?”
“Of course.” She kissed him once he entered her condo. “How’s your dad?”
“Sleeping it off, as far as I know.”
Her brows pinched together. “If this project will cause more conflict for your family, maybe we should hold off.”
“No. It’s the right thing to do.” His mother’s words echoed in his head. “My mom wants to help. My dad will have to accept it at some point. We just need to stay the course.” He gathered her into his arms to reassure her and himself. “Stay strong.”
She melted into his embrace. A week ago, he would’ve thought this kind of moment impossible. If he wouldn’t look stupid, he’d pinch himself now to prove it wasn’t a fantasy.
“I don’t always feel strong.” Her voice resonated against his chest, warm and rich.
He forced her to meet his gaze. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“The way I snapped at Gentry tonight proves I’m not even strong enough to take a little heat.”
“That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.” He kissed her forehead. “We’ve both stumbled a bit on our own, but together we’ll be stronger. I promise.”
“You sound certain.” Faint wrinkles fanned out from the corners of her cat eyes when she smiled.
“I am,” he lied. That fib didn’t make him feel bad, though. Anything that helped her believe in herself again couldn’t be wrong.
“Okay, then.” She eased away and led him to the sofa, where her laptop sat open on the coffee table. “I’ve given more thought to the environmental causes you wanted to consider. If we start a broad nonprofit foundation, we can accept grant applications from diverse causes and then divvy up our money as we see fit. What do you think?”
“I like that idea.” This kind of drive and enthusiasm was exactly like the “old Colby” she believed to be gone. He hadn’t helped his family heal, but he was helping Colby.
“Good. If I didn’t say so before, I want you to know how much I love this idea. And I love that you thought of it. I know you have regrets about Joe, but I also know how much he and your family mean to you. Eventually your dad will see that.”