Before I Ever Met You

Logan laughs and even that seems to scare everyone. I can try and hide our relationship, or whatever this is, from everyone here, but with Logan acting like a whole new human being, it’s not going to be so easy. Thankfully Johnny and Jin aren’t the type to jump to conclusions. They’ll first assume that Logan’s been abducted by aliens and his body has been shuttled back to earth, controlled by a robot.

And though it’s an odd proposition, none of us usher Logan out of the kitchen because we can use the extra hand with Charlie being gone, plus I think the guys get a certain thrill of seeing their boss roll up his sleeves and get down to the dirty work.

As it happens, with Logan’s help, we’re done a bit early. Johnny and Jin leave the kitchen in a hurry, as if they think Logan will pull a 180 and haul them back into work.

It’s just him and me here now. Out in the restaurant we can hear Daniel talking in a low murmur to Johnny and I think Kate, serving them drinks.

I turn to Logan, clearing my throat.

“So,” I say, keeping my voice low.

“So,” he says, taking a step toward me until all the space between us disappears. He runs his fingers underneath my chin and raises it so I’m looking at him in the eye. He smells like my dreams, that musk that runs deep into my veins, a chemical reaction. “Is it that obvious if I go and bar the kitchen door?”

“Afraid so,” I tell him.

“You have no idea how long this day has been,” he whispers to me. “I can’t quite believe that last night even happened. I might need you to prove it did.”

I bite my lip, playing up the look of the coquette. “That can be arranged. Anywhere but in here.”

“We can go at any time,” he murmurs, leaning over until his mouth is at my ear. “I can go at any time.”

Jesus. Just his hot breath, his words, and I’m transported back to last night. I don’t blame him for thinking that last night – and this morning – was a dream. This man had tasted me, licked his fucking fingers. He told me he wanted to fuck me with his mouth and then he fucking did. Not only a dirty talker, but a man who follows through.

“I think they would suspect something,” I manage to say, “you know, when they walk in here and find us fucking on the floor.”

“God,” he says, licking up my neck, a slow, languid pace to my ear that makes me shiver. “Don’t talk like that.” His hand slips down the side of my waist, down to the front of my work pants and starts sliding underneath the waistband.

“I think I’m supposed to make you a famous meal,” I manage to say.

“I think you’re my meal.”

I put my hand at his chest and push him back an inch. “I’m serious. I made something tonight that you’re going to be proud of.”

He cocks his head, studying me. “I already am proud of you.”

“How so?”

He gives me a lopsided grin that makes him look boyish. “You don’t realize what you’ve done here. Or maybe you do. I don’t know. I know I’ve been giving you a hard time since you arrived.”

“You can say that again.”

Now he’s full on beaming. “I’ve been giving you a hard time,” he repeats. “And it’s about to get harder.”

I laugh. “Okay, you are the worst at innuendo.”

“I know. But I am serious. I’m proud of you.”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone tell me they were proud of me, not like this. I try and brush it off but the fact is, it hits deep. It hits in a place I never thought possible. Tears are springing to my fucking eyes. All those years, all those years of just needing someone to believe in me and having no one, no one in my corner at all. You grow up thinking that your family will be the ones to believe in you but that’s not the case at all. Your family might be the first ones rooting for you to fail.

“Hey,” Logan says softly, brushing away the tears from my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, looking away.

“Ronnie,” he says and the sound of my nickname makes my heart soar. “Please.”

I take in a deep breath. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Hey,” he warns, his eyes turning hard and glinting.

I sigh. “I’ve never had anyone tell me they were proud of me.”

He seems stunned. “Never?”

“Never,” I admit. “I mean, I never really thought about it until you told me. It didn’t seem to matter what I did, it’s just that no one seemed to care. And, contrary to popular belief, I did do things that were worthy. At least I thought so. But…no one noticed.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice throaty as he runs his thumb over my lips. “I’m sorry that no one has ever seen how special, how beautiful you are. You need to know that the moment I saw you…I couldn’t forget you.”

I know I should just take the compliment and move on but I can’t. I stare up at him. “Then why did you marry her? Why did she steal you away from me that day?”

He closes his eyes briefly, breathing out of his nose. “I was a fool.”

“It’s that simple?”

He nods, looking me dead in the eye, washed with regret. “Sometimes there isn’t some elaborate story why two people end up together. I was…dumb. Thinking with my dick.” I grimace. “Sorry. And I bloody hate talking about this, you know. Because…I was blind. I saw your sister and she was beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

“Veronica,” he whispers. “You know more than anyone the ability she had to blind people. You’re a million times more beautiful, gorgeous, real and everything, and I knew that. I knew that when I saw you and I knew that you would take me on a ride. I knew that if I had left that bloody party with you our lives would have been turned upside down. In the best possible way. And I wasn’t ready for that. I was so business-minded. I could only think about the hotel, about getting it off the ground. I was blind to everything else but my ambition. And I saw Juliet and that way she had, that way she tricks people. She made me believe that I would rise to the top with her. And I fell for it. Somehow she fell for me.”

I can’t help but look away.

“You know I don’t like talking about it,” he says. “But it’s the truth. By the time we were married, it was too late. I was in too deep. And little by little, day by day, I started realizing the woman I was married to wasn’t at all like I thought. It was like she was hiding every aspect of herself until she had me and only then she came out. You have no idea, Ronnie, no idea.” He pauses. “I don’t think she was trying to trick me. She wasn’t…duplicitous, like the plumeria flowers. It wasn’t like that. It was just a case of hiding your true colors. She was afraid to be real.”

“Well she was hiding from me too, if that helps.”

“I think she was hiding from everyone. You, me, your mother, your father. I don’t think anyone knew the real Juliet. I don’t even think that prick she was with knew either. She died a mystery. And that’s a shame. But that was on her. The sad thing is, no one ever knows when we’re going to die. So it’s best to live life as open as you can. Juliet thought she was invincible, like we all do sometimes. I’m sure if she knew she’d die young…she would have made amends.” He runs his hands through my hair. I close my eyes. “You want the truth about me and your sister?”