Before I Ever Met You

He scrutinizes me for a moment. “Listen to me carefully. I don’t know about you, but last night wasn’t a one-off thing for me. It was the prelude to an ongoing thing. Meaning, I don’t just want to fuck you, Veronica. I never wanted just that. I want a lot more. So whatever is going on right now with us…I can’t have that be the bloody end of it.”


I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to feel. I know he’s saying everything I ever wanted him to say and I know it’s doing something to my heart. It’s making it warm, it’s making it swell, it’s making it so it’s hard to breathe. But when I take a moment to look beyond the two of us being in bed together…how could this ever work?

“And then what?” I ask him, flipping onto my side, holding the sheet up to my chest and propping my head up with my elbow. “Then what happens?”

He stares at me and sighs. “I don’t think it’s rocket science.”

“Logan,” I tell him. “I’m not just some girl that you want to fuck and you’re not some guy I want to sleep with; there are layers here.”

“I know about the layers.”

“Well the layers are what can prevent us from ever…moving forward.”

“Tell me what you’re afraid of,” he says, adjusting himself against the pillow. “Tell me all your fears and I’ll carry them for you.”

That’s unbelievably sweet but…“Jeez, I don’t know, everything?”

His frown deepens, that line showing up between his eyes that I want to press my finger against and smooth. “Are you afraid of me? That I’ll hurt you? That I’ll leave you?”

I have to take a moment. Until, well, last night, I would have said yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That I knew from personal experience. If he cheated on Juliet, he would cheat on me. But after last night, now that I learned the truth…I don’t know. Of course the fear of having my heart broken is there but that would be true with anyone you’re falling for. Every time you have the chance to climb high, you also have that chance to fall.

But it’s not as much now. Because what kept me and Logan apart wasn’t just my own fear that he would humiliate me and break my heart. It was the fact that there wasn’t a person alive who would understand us and that our path seemed doomed from the start.

Look at it from any angle and this is what you get – a girl who betrayed her family, her dead sister. The man who betrayed his dead wife. Insert all those “keep it in the family jokes.” Only it’s not funny at all. None of this is.

“Veronica,” he says again, reaching out and cupping my face, his eyes searching mine imploringly. “Tell me that’s not what you think.”

I shake my head, closing my eyes to his touch. “No. It’s not. It’s everything else.”

He sighs and brushes a strand of hair behind my ears. I open my eyes to see him staring at me with such tenderness it makes my heart bleed.

“This isn’t going to be easy,” he says. “But I want to be with you and I can’t think of any other way. We can hide it from everyone for a while, if you want, but I’m not ashamed and I’m not afraid.”

“Really?” I can’t help but ask. “You know how bad this looks. For both of us.”

“I do. And I don’t care. What should it matter what people think? Those that know me, that know you, those that understand…those are the people you hang onto. Everyone else you discard.”

“It’s not that easy,” I blurt out. “Your family would never judge you but mine would. Mine would…they’d disown me. They’d disown you. They own most of your resort, Logan. Don’t you think they could and would do some real damage?”

He swallows and looks down at the sheets, his hand dropping away from my face. “I know this isn’t how you see me, but I like to see the best in people. Just like you usually do.”

“Not when it comes to my parents.”

“Maybe so. But I’m not afraid of them.”

I shake my head, my heart feeling like it’s in a rock tumbler, but instead of coming out smooth and polished, it’s stuck in this never-ending turmoil. “You don’t know them like I do.”

“Be that as it may,” he says, leaning forward to kiss me softly. When he pulls back, his eyes are deep and probing. “I know you. And I know you don’t want to upset them. So for now, they don’t have to know anything. They don’t know your life here. You’ve told me they barely keep in touch, and you know they don’t contact me anymore. Except when they want you out of their hair.” I roll my eyes at that. “So in the meantime, fuck them. And fuck anyone who cares.”

“How can you just throw yourself into this so fast?” I ask him. “We’ve been fighting since the day I arrived.”

“Maybe I’m tired of fighting. Ironically, now I’ve found something worth fighting for.”

I raise my brow. “I don’t know. You know what happened to me before.”

“As I said, people here don’t have to know,” he tells me. “It’s up to you. If you think it’s better for both of us to keep it a secret, I will keep it a secret. Look…I just want to be with you. That’s all.”

That’s all?

But that’s everything.

Logan has been doing nothing but telling me everything I’ve always wanted, needed, to hear. It’s to the point that I’m not even sure I’m awake and not dreaming. It’s one thing to have a sex dream, it’s another to hear that the man you’re in…well, that you’re obsessed with, feels the same about you.

“Do you want me to show you?” he asks and before I can answer he’s pulling me toward him. I let out a shriek, dissolving into nervous laughter. One hand disappears into my hair, the other hand trails up the inside of my leg, soft and teasing, inch-by-inch over my sensitive skin. Even though my body is still a bit sore from last night and drowsy from sleep, I’m already shivering at his touch, craving him all over again.

I’ve found something worth fighting for.

He can’t know what those words do to me.

How deep and far they reach. The hope they bring.

But he can know just what his body does to mine. That I don’t mind sharing.

He keeps his eyes on mine, burning with lust and I’m so turned on, that I’m wet to my thighs. “Veronica,” he groans as his fingers find my clit, teasing it, his eyes never breaking from mine. “You’re soaked.”

I give him an anxious smile. Even after last night, I’m still a bit nervous. The day is shining a new light on things, making me feel beautiful and exposed. “What can I say? I’ve been dreaming of you all night.”

“This isn’t a dream, Freckles,” he says gruffly as he grabs my hips and pulls me closer. I hook my leg up around his waist, keeping him against me, as he continues to tease me. I’m starting to get impatient, the ache inside me increasing with each slick stroke of his finger.

“Easy,” he whispers to me as he reaches for his cock and runs the crown of it up and down my clit, pausing to dip it briefly inside before bringing it back up. The sound is so loud in this room, so wet, it’s almost obscene.