‘Oh, Suze,’ Rosie said, rolling her eyes.
‘It was worth it. He was actually pretty good at it. But anyway, that’s not the disaster bit. So I go home, and later that night he texts me. At first he’s being normal, and then, I swear out of nowhere, he says to me, “Send me a picture of your boobs.”’
‘What?’ Rosie and I said at the same time.
‘I know! It’s, like, learn to read the signs, dude.’
‘What did you say?’
‘What do you think I said? I said no! And so he tried to be all “ohh, I won’t tell anyone, please”. Really pathetic.’
‘God, this is so disappointing,’ Levina said, looking sad. ‘I thought he was cool. You’re ruining the illusion.’
‘Ruining the illusion is a public service,’ Suzanne said just as the waitress arrived.
We ordered our food even though I’d barely glanced at the menu, and waited until the waitress was out of earshot before starting up the conversation again.
‘Tell them about the Snapchat,’ Maya urged. She was grinning.
Suzanne was pressing her lips together, clearly trying to suppress a laugh. ‘So, after I’d said no a few times, he Snapchatted me a picture of his dick.’
‘What?’ Rosie and I shrieked this time, and our whole table burst out laughing, so loud that people at other tables turned to look at us.
‘I know,’ Suzanne said. ‘I couldn’t believe it either. And it was like this.’ She held her hands in the gesture I recognized she’d been making when we first walked in, indicating, I presumed, a small penis. ‘Definitely not picture material. Which I guess is why he Snapchatted it.’ She sighed. ‘The real sad thing is that it was a Snapchat, so I can’t even show you.’
‘What a shame,’ Maya said, deadpan.
‘And then he says, “You can Snapchat your boobs.” And I said, “I’ll Snapchat your face,” and he thought I was flirting with him, because then he really did send me a Snapchat of his face. And then I gave up and just stopped replying.’
‘Have you heard from him since?’ I asked.
‘He sent me a few after I stopped replying, basically calling me a bitch.’ She seemed unconcerned about this. ‘The moral is, I wasted my time, which would have been better spent with you guys.’ She was looking at me as she said this, smiling her usual friendly smile.
I smiled back, but all I could think was, Trauma triggers: experiences that trigger traumatic memories. It just didn’t make sense. How could anyone who’d been in any way traumatized be so bright and cheerful? I watched her face as she turned to Maya, lifting her hands to illustrate some new joke she was making, scanning for hints. But there was nothing. Just her, all smirks and eye rolls and wisecracks. The picture of ordinary happiness.
After our food arrived and the conversation lulled, I decided to go for it. ‘So, what’s going on in Corrie at the moment?’
‘You don’t watch Corrie,’ Rosie said. I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, Suzanne lift her straw to her teeth and begin chewing on it, her face passive.
‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I saw some stuff about it on Facebook. I’m just curious.’
‘Yeah, there’s supposed to be this big controversial storyline,’ Maya said, ‘but it’s not that controversial really.’
‘It’s been building for ages,’ Levina added. ‘Weeks.’
Maya nodded. ‘It was getting pretty boring. Denise has this new boyfriend, Dave, see, and her daughter, Clarise, who’s, what, fifteen?’
‘Fourteen,’ Levina chirped.
‘Fourteen. She doesn’t like him. And he doesn’t like her either. They’ve been having fights and stuff.’
‘Clarise is a bitch,’ Rosie said. She speared a chunk of tomato. ‘Dave is trying really hard, and she keeps winding him up and stuff.’
‘Anyway, on Thursday, they had this big fight when Denise was at work,’ Maya continued. ‘And Clarise said that Dave was . . . what was it?’
‘Pathetic and past it,’ Levina supplied without hesitation.
‘And Dave slapped her,’ Maya finished. ‘That’s the big drama they’ve been leading up to.’
‘It was more of a punch than a slap,’ Levina said. ‘It was like . . .’ She lifted her hand and made an odd punching motion, but without a proper fist.
Rosie laughed. ‘What was that?’
‘Yeah, it didn’t really look like that, did it?’ Levina grinned and shrugged. ‘It was more than a slap though. That’s why the producers made such a big deal about it.’
‘Same thing,’ Maya said dismissively. ‘I think you’re supposed to feel sorry for Clarise, but seriously? She deserved it. She’s been such a bitch to him.’