Beast: Learning to Breathe (Devil's Blaze MC #5)

“What’s wrong with you?” Hayden asks, and I swear the woman is clueless, which just makes this worse.

“Maybe I’m upset because a woman is standing here telling me she doesn’t see me as a man!” I grumble. I didn’t think I had pride anymore. Apparently, I was wrong.

“Michael—”

“Don’t say it,” I warn her.

“Say what?” She stops, looking at me with her face a mixture of confusion and annoyance. She thinks she’s annoyed?

“Whatever you have cooked up in that silly noggin’ of yours.”

“Noggin’? Michael, seriously I think—”

“I assure you, Hayden, I am definitely a man.”

“Well of course you are. But not with me. With me you’re a friend. Like Charlie is my friend. And—”

“I warned you not to say that,” I mutter, turning to face her.

“What’s got into you?” she asks. “You’re acting crazy.”

“Men get that way when a woman doesn’t notice that they are, in actuality, a man.”

“Michael, you’re acting nuts. I just don’t see you like that. Just like you don’t see me as a woman. We’re friends,” she says again, and Jesus, can she be that clueless.

“Maybe it’s time I did something about it then.”

“About what?”

“Maybe it’s time I showed you that I am a man,” I gripe.

“Michael—” I don’t let her finish. I don’t let her finish because I know she’s going to end up saying something else to piss me off. So, I grab her and pull her into me. “Michael, please. I think—” Before she can finish I capture her words with my mouth.

I may regret this. Fuck. I know I’m gonna regret it, but I also know I’m going to kiss the hell out of Hayden Graham. She’ll never doubt I’m a man again.





49





Hayden





It’s like I’ve been transported into some Twilight Zone episode. That’s what this entire conversation with Michael has been like. I’ve never dealt with men much. I’ve had one steady boyfriend and then…Blade. I think it’s safe to say my experience in dealing with the opposite sex is limited and not good. The last thing I expect though is for Michael to kiss me.

At first, I’m too shocked to do anything. His beard scratches against my skin and tickles my nose. I hold myself still, it’s not that great of a feat, because I’m shell-shocked. My eyes are wide open and they must be huge with surprise. Michael’s arm is tight around me. His palm is spread out on my back, and I can feel each finger pressing into me with a bruising force. I’m thinking any minute he’ll back away and this will be over. We can awkwardly laugh it off and go to our respective corners. I’m waiting for that to happen. Any minute now…any second—

And then it happens.

I feel Michael’s tongue sweep against my lips, seeking entry. I don’t let him, of course. That would be insanity. This needs to have never happened. It can’t happen! Then, his free hand moves to my breast. There has been one side effect with pregnancy that has driven me insane. I want sex. I want sex all the time. Even with the early morning sickness, and my stomach starting to pooch out, I still craved sex. I’ve went through packages and packages of batteries for my vibrator, because after my experience with Blade there was no way I wanted another man around me. My brain is screaming that now. The traitorous lower half of my body is screaming that Michael isn’t just another man. He’s Michael. I like him.

Nerves assault me. Fear hits me. Before they completely take hold his thumb brushes across my nipple. A surge of heat pulses through me. Familiar, yet shockingly different. I’ve felt excitement for a man before. I’ve felt what I thought was desire, but this…this is different. It’s sharper, it’s more intense. I tighten my body up, and my hands brace against him to push away.

“No,” I whisper, and he pulls back. His eyes rake over me and I hate it, because I know he can read the fear there. The fear that I can’t push away. “We shouldn’t do this. I don’t want this,” I tell him, wondering if he will believe me, because I’m not sure I do.

“I think you do,” he says, and his voice is different…it’s gruffer, but it seems to vibrate—through me.

“Michael, I can’t do this,” I whisper guiltily.

“You’re scared,” he says, and I can’t even deny it. “Keep your eyes open, so you know it’s me,” he demands and his words confuse me. How could I not know it was him?

“Michael—”

“Trust me, Beauty,” he whispers, his voice dipping down, and my stomach feels like a thousand butterflies pick that moment to take flight. I gasp when I feel his palm slide against my neck. His skin is rough and callused yet gentle. His thumb strokes against the pulse point in my neck and when his lips brush against mine, I don’t think of denying him this time. I’ve never kissed a man with a beard before, it adds a new sensation, but more than that, Michael’s lips are full, soft, and completely at odds with the surly exterior and personality he usually displays.

He doesn’t even kiss me like I expected. Instead, it’s a soft touch, a smooth, sweet glide of our lips. It’s merely a teasing touch and then he pulls away, a mere breath, before coming back. He does this a few times, and it’s almost as if he’s hypnotizing me with his movements, luring me with them, because each time he breaks away, I find myself following him.

Then it happens. This time as his lips tenderly touch mine, his tongue sneaks into my mouth. It doesn’t go far, it’s not even assertive. It slides in and teases against the inside of my lip, moves against my cheek, before going back out. I miss its presence immediately.

I could taste him.

Minty, fresh, musky and…naughty.

That feeling that you’re doing something you shouldn’t, but it’s so good you can’t stop.

Seductive.

I lose myself in his taste, and when his tongue comes back for a second round, I seek it. Our tongues wrap around each other, carefully at first as if neither of us are sure what we’re doing, and then again, with more intensity. I think I moan, maybe it was him, because all at once the kiss changes from a shy, gentle exchange into something else. Something different from anything I’ve ever experienced before.

My hands bite into his shirt, and I hold on for dear life, because I can feel the heat surround us.

Passion.

I’ve been so stupid. My whole life I’ve been stupid, because it’s suddenly crystal clear that until this moment, I’ve never truly felt real desire. As many times as I’ve kissed and been kissed, I’ve never felt like this before. I might have thought I had good kisses before. I might have even thought I had a connection with the person I was kissing. I was wrong. I’ve never been kissed this way before, until him.