Beast: Learning to Breathe (Devil's Blaze MC #5)

I look at my cellphone. This is the fifth call today I’ve had from Skull. I click the off button. I’m not sure why it’s so fucking hard for him to get the message, but they all need to. That life is over for me. I’m not the man they knew. I haven’t been that man in a long time, they are all just too stubborn to recognize it. I stuff the phone in my back pocket and watch as they finish loading the last box into my truck.

I’m standing out on the Main Street of Whitley waiting outside of a local shop, while men fill my truck with items I purchased this morning. It’s been two days since Hayden’s episode and I’ve tried to keep a close eye on her. She seems to be doing fine, but there’s a sadness about her now that I don’t like. Maybe that’s the reason I decided Hayden needed something to cheer her up and remind her that her and Maggie are okay. At least that’s what I told myself. The truth is, I couldn’t resist buying the nursery furniture. I wanted to be the one to buy it for her. I wanted to give her something to smile over. Me…not someone else.

“Here you go, Mr. Jameson! We can’t thank you enough for your business,” the sales lady says, handing me three large bags.

“You’re sure this will be all she needs to get started?” I ask, still finding it hard to believe that things have changed so much since Annabelle was a baby.

“More than enough. You’re very generous to your friend,” she says, and it’s been a while but she’s got a look in her eye that I used to remember and immediately act on.

I’m not interested now. Hell, except for that one moment with Hayden, that I still can’t explain—I haven’t been interested since the explosion. The hard-on I got around Hayden, didn’t last long and it hasn’t happened since. Maybe something more than just my skin was damaged from the fire. That would be the easy answer. The more complicated one is that I feel dead on the inside. About the only time I even feel marginally normal is when I’m around Hayden. And even then, I can’t manage to talk to her like a normal person. I’m about as fucked up as they come.

The saleswoman lets her hand rest on my shoulder. I look down at it and back at her, before stepping back, letting it fall away.

“Thanks for your help,” I tell her, not bothering to look back. She says something else, but I’ve already tuned her out. I get in my truck to get back to Hayden’s. I’m getting in too deep with her. I need to keep my distance, but each time I decide that something else happens with her that lures me in. There was a moment the other day after we ate together that I almost kissed her. That would have landed us both in a huge fucked up mess. Hell, even knowing what a mess it could be, I’m still curious as to what kissing her would be like. Of course, now that I’ve seen what kind of demons live inside of her, kissing her would be the worst thing I could do.

I’m about ten minutes away when I notice two bikes on my ass. I look through the side mirror, but I can’t tell much about them from this distance. I slow down, waiting for them to go around me. They slow down and my hands tighten up on my steering wheel. I don’t have time for this fucking bullshit. I speed back up and watch as they do too. One fucker gets brave and comes around the side of me, he manages to hide in my blind spot. I swerve for the fuck of it, and watch as he speeds up quickly. Now that I can see him in the mirror I try and look to see if I can recognize him. I have a suspicion as to who it is, but I need that shit confirmed. I’m about to lock up my brakes, pull the fucking truck over and show these fucks what happens when you invite road-rage.

I don’t get that chance, however, when I hear a noise that reminds me of gravel hitting against my fender. A second later, I’m wrestling with the truck as it tries to fishtail. My back tire is going flat. I get it under control and pull to the side of the road. It’s then the bikers drive around the side of me. My hand is going for the gun I keep in my console. I’m looking out the window as I get it. My hand wraps around the handle and I’m pulling it up. When the drivers stop across from me. They have skull masks on, so there’s no way I can see their faces. I do notices their cut however. It’s a Shadow Dwellers. Motherfucker. My eyes go back to them and the one closest to me is holding a gun, it’s aimed right at me.

For a moment, I freeze. I’ve been wanting to die for years. This bullet will finally put me out of my misery. I watch as his finger squeezes against the trigger, and I think this is it. Finally, I’ll just stop fighting it. I close my eyes, expecting to see Annabelle, but I don’t. It’s Hayden’s face I see. Hayden crying.





42





Beast





My head jerks automatically when I see Hayden’s face. What the fuck does that mean? I don’t have time to think about it. I thought the man was going to shoot me. Instead he lowers the gun and shoots my front tire. Then they drive off.

“Fuck,” I growl, to no one as I get out and look at my ruined tires. What the hell was that shit about? I slam my door, kicking the completely destroyed front tire. “Fuck!” I growl out again, so loud that my voice cuts off, mid-scream. I slam my fist down against the hood of my truck. Pain spreads up my hand and I welcome it. It doesn’t help the anger seething through me though, and I slam my fist down again wishing it was the heads of those in-bred-motherfuckers. I’m going to kill those son-of-a-bitches! What did they think they were accomplishing besides making me a bigger fucking enemy?

I try to get control of my anger so I can sort through this shit. This is how I did my job for years. Keeping control and sorting through every action and reaction to know why or how to strike. They weren’t here to end me so what was it? A warning? Devil’s Blaze never fooled with that shit. We didn’t bother with warnings. If you fucked up, then we shut you down. Warning people got messy and usually you had blowback. If you got rid of the problem from the beginning, then you didn’t have to worry about getting a knife in your back. Blade and the Dwellers were never that smart, which is just one of the reasons their club is in the shape it’s in. I do have to wonder why he felt the need to deliver this particular message to me.