Be the Girl

“I sent her a picture of Roger Dodger, from the shelter, being really silly. He’s my favorite.”

“I thought they were all your favorite,” I say absently, looking back to where we were sitting.

Wondering how Holly could possibly have missed Cassie’s bright pink vest.





Dear Julia,

I think I like Emmett. Like, REALLY like him. But maybe you already guessed that. He’s easily the hottest guy in school. Maybe on earth. The real kicker is that he doesn’t act like he knows it. And that smile … Ugh. And then there’s the whole hockey thing. I don’t even like hockey! But seeing him out there tonight, as good as he is … I don’t know. It did things to me. I need to learn about hockey.

This whole crushing-hard-on-your-neighbor-when-he’s-in-love-with-his-beautiful-girlfriend thing sucks, big time. But, at least I get to see him every day. Friendship is better than strangers, right?

I’m such a loser.

Hopelessly pining,

~AJ





9





“I’ll grab us seats,” Jen offers.

“Thanks.” I frown at the tiny ice cream cones on her shirt as she lumbers down the hall, her lunch bag dangling from her fingertips. Why does she wear clothes like that, anyway? Every day it’s something unusual. Yesterday she came to school in a shirt with a giant smiley face across the chest. People stared. They frowned. They whispered. I haven’t seen anyone be outright mean to her yet, but it’s only a matter of time. She’s a prime target for bullies.

What I haven’t been able to figure out yet is whether she cares. She must not. But I also haven’t seen her hanging out with anyone besides me and Josie, the quiet Asian girl who has said maybe five words to me total, though she sits with us at lunch every day.

Am I alienating myself in my new school and my new life, the more I hang out with her?

The girls’ bathroom is empty when I enter. I head for the farthest stall, hanging my things on the hook and fishing out my phone to send a quick text my mother.

The outer door creaks open. “… trying to get him Leafs tickets. My dad’s company has box seats so if I could get two golds for the home opener …” Holly’s honeyed voice reverberates over the tile walls. “Oh my God, Emmett will lose his mind!”

Envy pulls at my insides. She’s so lucky to have him. Does she realize how lucky she is?

“What do you think he’ll get you?” another voice asks. I recognize it from the party as Mandy’s.

This has to be about Holly and Emmett’s upcoming anniversary.

I was midway through a text to my mother, but I quickly cancel out of that and open up the camera. Emmett did say that he’d owe me big time if I could find out exactly what day their anniversary was. How much would he owe me if I could tell him exactly what Holly wanted?

I switch to video and hit the red record button.

And then roll my eyes at myself as I silently acknowledge that I’m eagerly helping Emmett impress another girl.

“Knowing him? Something to do with hockey. Like a necklace with a hockey stick dangling from it, or something like that.” She laughs. “I swear, I love the guy to pieces, but he can be so clueless.”

I cringe.

“And that’s if he even remembers our one-year anniversary. A hundred bucks says he misses it completely.”

“Mention it to his sister,” Mandy murmurs in a way that makes me picture her smearing lipstick over her puckered mouth. “You know she’ll remind him.”

“Oh, I know. Every day, until the thirtieth.”

September 30. I smile. Oh man, Emmett. I am saving your butt here.

My thumb moves for the red button to shut off the recording.

“I feel like I’ve already gotten my anniversary gift with that new neighbor of his. That AJ.”

My thumb freezes. The way my name sounds on her tongue makes my skin prickle. It’s not her usual sweet tone.

“She came to Emmett’s game last night. It was great. I hid up top on the Away side and got to watch the game in peace.” Holly’s musical laughter echoes through the bathroom, only it doesn’t sound nearly as charming. “Cassie’s finally got someone new to leech on to, so she’ll leave me alone.”

My heart is pounding in my chest as I sit on the toilet and witness Holly shed her angelic skin, unaware that someone aside from her trusted friend could be listening. “Yeah. Now if I can figure out a way to get her to stop texting me.”

“Oh my God, she still texts you?”

“Like, every day. She texts me and tags me on stupid pictures of mangy dogs on Instagram, too. I hate dogs! And if I don’t respond, she keeps texting! It’s so annoying. I don’t know why Emmett’s parents let her have a phone in the first place. Someone’s always with her and it’s not like she has friends.”

“What are you talking about? You’re her best friend.”

Holly scoffs and Mandy cackles viciously.

“I swear, if I’d known that I wouldn’t be able to shake Cassie off, I would never have gone through her to get to Em. I could’ve met him some other way. Hey, no one’s in here, right?” Holly suddenly asks, quieting.

Panic flares inside me. I hold my breath and pull my legs up, thankful that I chose the corner stall.

A moment later, “Nope.”

“Cool.”

I let out the slowest sigh of relief.

“So, what’s the story with that Aria girl, anyway?” Mandy asks.

“I don’t know, but she’s weird.”

My stomach clenches.

“Right? And she joined cross-country because of him?”

“And made up some story about winning provincials or something. I’m telling you, I’ve seen her run at our practices and there is no way. She’s so slow.”

My teeth grit together.

“Why did Emmett bring her to Zach’s?”

“He felt sorry for her. She has, like, no friends. She and her mom moved in with that old, grouchy man next door. Emmett said her parents divorced. They probably have no money.”

We have loads of money! I want to yell, my eyes burning with the cutting words. My mom’s been a lawyer for twenty years. All she ever did was work.

And did Emmett say that? That he felt sorry for me?

“Do you think she has a thing for him?”

“Oh my God, for sure she does. Who doesn’t though, right? He’s, like, the hottest guy here. And he’s all mine.” Holly cackles. “She can have his sister. They’re perfect for each other. Both weirdos.”

“And Jen Ricci.”

“Ugh! Did you see what that loser is wearing today?” Their laughter is grating.

It’s a moment before I realize the bathroom is empty once again.

My hands are shaking with anger as I shut off the recording and tuck my phone away. I knew Holly was too perfect to be real. I knew there had to be an ugly side. Everyone has an ugly side. It’s only ever a matter of how well they keep it hidden, and what makes it appear.

Has Emmett seen this side of her? Does he know that she used his sister to get to him?

Does she know how she talks about Cassie?

I wait another five minutes to make sure there’s no chance Holly and Mandy are in the halls before I collect my things and head to the cafeteria.

I find Jen and Josie in our usual area. “That took a while,” Jen says, already working on the second half of her sandwich.

I slide into my seat. “Yeah. Sorry.”

She pauses midbite and frowns. “You feeling okay? You look pale.”

“I’m fine. It’s just … it’s nothing.” It’s just that Emmett’s girlfriend is a full-fledged Regina George posing as Miss Congeniality. And she’s got everyone fooled.

“Hey, Aria!” That saccharine voice calls out from behind me.

Tension ripples through my body as I look up to find none other than Holly and Mandy standing over our table. I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Hey. What’s up?” Did she somehow figure out that I was in the bathroom, recording her as she exposed her toxic underbelly?

She shrugs. “Just wanted to say hi. You looked great at practice today, by the way. We’re so happy to have you on the team.” The way her eyes crinkle, the way her smile takes up her whole face … it’s like she’s practiced her deception in the mirror for months, she’s that good at appearing genuine.

But I know better now.