I fall to my knees, skinning them on the rough rock and just like that the bugs are gone. “Water,” I gasp, holding my throat. My mouth is so dry. I’m going to die of thirst if I don’t get a drop fast.
“What did you give me?” I scream as a cartoon unicorn flies into the cave, winks at me, and then flies back out.
“The trabaca leaves are not for smoking,” Straykeer says. Oh good. The skin on his face grew back. “They are for warding off the bad spirits.”
“They’re in me!” I scream, clawing at the skin on my chest. The bad spirits are in me. I can feel them sliding through my veins like a water slide and digging through my brain like evil worms.
I squeeze my eyes shut and drop into a fetal position as they taunt me with their horrible laughs.
“This is not good,” I scream, trying to drown out the skin crawling sound of their laughter. “Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good,” I repeat over and over again.
A hand shakes my shoulder and I jump to my feet, crouching like Catwoman. “Get away!” I scream, swatting at the confused blue monster in front of me. “I’ll fuck you up!”
Everything is trying to kill me. The demons flying out of the fire, the huge blue alien in front of me, the dead animal carcass that is coming back to life, even the walls of the cave that are trying to reach out and grab me.
I know what I have to do now.
It’s all so clear. Why didn’t I think of it before?
I’ll fly back to earth.
I can fly with my super powers. I just have to jump off a cliff to get started.
My lips curl back as I hiss at the alien in front of me. There is a cliff close by. We passed it on the way here.
I dart out of the cave into the forest like the Goddamn superhero that I am.
It’s time to leave this planet for good.
It’s time to fly home.
***
Where is Straykeer’s mate going?
She just ran out into the forest screaming so loud that every many fanged beast in the forest will be wanting her for dinner.
But it’s not just the many fanged beasts that are after her. The flying caves with the pathetic green creatures want her too.
The ferocious and dominant Straykeer chases after his mate, following her through the forest. The bad spirits are in her, making her crazy.
Her weak delicate arms are swinging over her head as she runs as fast as a mandashee being chased by a pocurtel.
“My Mandy!” the ferocious Straykeer calls out. “Stop. Come back to your Straykeer.”
But she does not listen. She keeps running at an incredible pace.
“Krakalore,” Straykeer whispers as the sky lights up with fire. It’s the flying cave, lit up like a hundred campfires, and it’s heading for Straykeer’s gorgeous mate.
They will not get her. The ferocious and dominant Straykeer will make sure of that. He sprints forward on powerful legs as the flying cave lowers to the ground where Straykeer’s mate is standing.
Mandy’s hands are in the air, the middle finger on each closed hand sticking up in the air at the descending cave. “Hey you little green fuckos!” she screams, the bad spirits still inside of her. “Suck my earth dick!”
“Mandy!” Straykeer hollers as he darts forward. “Run!”
His powerful muscles are twitching, his soum pounding in his chest. He must get to his mate to protect her. The dominant Straykeer promised his Mandy that he would protect her for always. He will not let her down.
Straykeer pulls out his two swords, the ones that he carved from the bones of the mighty fanged beast that he slew to become a true Drandroka.
The flying cave opens up as it becomes level with Mandy and with a flash of blue she disappears inside.
“NO!” Straykeer screams as the entrance to the cave slams closed taking his Mandy with it. It slowly rises to the air to take her away just as he arrives where his Mandy was standing.
The ferocious Straykeer jumps onto the closest tree and climbs up as fast as the strike of a wicker. With a booming war cry, he leaps from the top of the tree and soars through the air with his swords ready to strike.
He crashes into the flying cave and sinks one sword into the hard wall. His other sword bounces off and falls to the ground below.
The ferocious Straykeer reaches up and holds his sword with both hands as the flying cave flies even higher. His mighty feet dangle in the air but he is not scared. Straykeer would die to protect his mate.
A hiss fills the dark night as a small door opens in front of him and a strange object pops out. It is round and long and hollow, and it turns to point right at Straykeer’s mighty chest.
Straykeer gasps as it fills with a beautiful purple light.
Then the purple light explodes out and slams into Straykeer’s chest. He tries hard to hold onto his sword for his mate but the blast is too hard and the mighty Straykeer flies off and tumbles down to the ground.
He smashes into the trees below, breaking every branch on the way down until he slams into the hard ground with a grunt.
The devastated Straykeer ignores the burning pain in his body and rises to his feet. His Mandy is in the flying cave with the pathetic little green creatures who wish her harm.
And they are flying away.
seven