Heavy vibrating footsteps thunder in the distance and my blood goes cold. Every hair on my body is standing at full attention as I feel the monstrous presence approaching.
I grab my lucky apartment key out of my pocket and slide it into my fist. It worked before. It may work again.
“Come on, Turic,” I say, shaking my man as my adrenaline spikes. “If you have an ounce of that mighty Turic stuff left inside of you, I could really use it now.”
He tries to get up but his limp legs aren’t cooperating and he falls back down to the ground with a weak grunt.
“Alright,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Tin Tom. Any advice?”
Tin Tom blinks sadly. “Tom recommends that you run.”
I let out a heavy sigh. Turic is too heavy to carry and I’m not leaving him here. I love him too much for that.
It’s a beautiful cloudless day but the thunder gets louder and louder. “Oh, God,” I whisper as a towering shadow sneaks out from around the bend of the cliff.
The T-Rex stomps out in full terrifying view. She’s the size of a building with teeth the size of swords. I have no chance.
I glance up at the sky, hoping for another miraculous meteor to hit, but like my grandfather used to say, ‘you only get lucky once.’ There are no meteors in sight.
I step in front of Turic’s moaning body and gulp as the T-Rex turns her sleepy eyes towards me. She lowers her massive head as I raise my fist with my old apartment key wedged between my fingers.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit,” I whisper to myself over and over again as she stares from about fifty yards away. She tilts her head curiously as she watches me with thick red blood dripping off her lower jaw in buckets.
A bead of sweat slides down my temple as my hands start shaking uncontrollably. She’s absolutely terrifying and the dried blood coating her face and stomach just adds to the heart-stopping effect.
She lets out a chirping cry that pierces my ears and then she retreats to the bottom of the cliff where she lies down.
Tears well up behind my eyelids at the sudden release of tension. The blood-covered T-Rex looks like she just ate an all-you-can-eat Stegosaurus buffet and we don’t look too appetizing as a dessert.
The dinosaur lowers her head and blinks her eyes closed as she lets out a long, noisy exhale. The army of blueberries behind us let out a collective gasp. I glance back to where they are up on the hill, jumping around and cheering quietly. Do they think that I made that happen?
It’s nap time for the T-Rex but we’re not in the clear yet. She may have a friend join her or she can change her mind at any moment and come snatch us up as an after dinner mint.
“Tin Tom,” I whisper as I hook my arm under Turic’s huge bicep. “How can I wake this guy up?”
Tin Tom blinks. “You can revive the Drandroka easily with an injection of epinephrine.”
My head perks up. “Do you have one?”
Tin Tom blinks his lights wildly and I feel a lightness in my chest as there’s finally hope.
“No,” he answers curtly. “Tom is a translational unit, not a medical unit.”
“Well,” I say, yanking him towards Turic. “You’re going to be a transportational unit now.” I grit my teeth and groan as I try to lift up my heavy blue love with everything that I have to put him onto Tin Tom. After ten seconds my muscles are burning and I’m breathless. And poor Turic is still on the ground.
“Wake up many fanged beast!” Loupin hollers as he rushes down the hill, waving his long staff in the air. “She is a false Saku! A fraud! Eliminate her!”
“Shut up!” I hiss at him as he awkwardly runs forward with his thin yellow hair blowing in the air behind him. “Are you fucking crazy?!?”
But he just gets louder. “False Saku! False Saku! False Saku!” he screams over and over again as he waves his staff at the many fanged bitch.
I knew this was too good to be true. I hold my breath as I slowly turn back to the sleeping dinosaur. She’s awake now. And she looks pissed!
She’s standing on her two enormous hind legs and leaning forward with her bloody lips curled up over her deadly teeth.
“Devour her!” Loupin screams as he stumbles over, pointing his staff at me. “Prove to the Drandroka her falseness!”
The T-Rex is glaring at us, looking annoyed with the disturbance to her nap. She looks like a person lying in bed who’s watching an irritating fly buzzing around the room. I gulp when she moves forward to squish it.
Turic is still pretty out of it. His forehead is sweaty and he doesn’t seem to realize what’s going on. I’m thankful for that at least. He probably won’t feel the pain that I will.
I drop to my knees beside him and hold his moaning head in my lap. If I’m going to die, it’s going to be beside my love.