“You want something to drink? A bottle of water?” she asked.
I nodded as she led the way through the kitchen, where she grabbed two bottles of water and then stopped at the dining table.
I sat down across from her and folded my hands in my lap. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife. Especially since the images of her from that night were still burned into my brain, lurid and shocking.
Crimson streaks laced through her otherwise jet-black hair. Red handprints on her ass, tattoos twining over her skin, silver barbells in her nipples.
This woman and I were polar opposites. I was about as exotic as a slice of white bread. Nolan might have said that his relationship with Daniella was built solely on companionship, but obviously something about her turned him on. Even after just a few minutes in her presence, I could see why. She was different, exciting and edgy. Her lips were glossy red, she was wearing a faded T-shirt for a London Art Fair, and there was a tiny semicolon tattoo on the inside of her wrist.
I knew right then that this wasn’t some meaningless affair. This woman had held his interest and dominated his love life for two years. Nobody else had even come close to her level of commitment.
Except for me . . . God, I hope so.
Sitting at Daniella’s table—at their table—made me nervous in a way I hadn’t been before. It was the shock I’d felt at the Nurses’ Ball all over again. Every time I saw her, she became more of a real person to me; it was clear that she was no one-dimensional fling. She had interests and passions and depth. Their relationship had its own history that I couldn’t touch. They had probably shared things that he and I never would—both in the bedroom and outside it.
A chill of icy dread crept over me. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped. I’d been so sure that Nolan and I were great together, but now, for the first time, I began to wonder if I measured up. If I was enough for him.
Daniella watched me coolly but with equal interest, no doubt wondering what Nolan saw in me.
My heart rate accelerated. Shit. Maybe coming here was a mistake after all. Taking a deep breath, I stuck to the plan.
“First, I have to apologize for barging in the other day. I heard voices and let myself inside, never dreaming that I’d interrupt . . . something between you and Nolan.”
I didn’t mention that I was being followed. I didn’t mention that I’d feared for my safety. I just let them think I was a presumptuous person who went barging into people’s houses. It felt awfully brash and brazen now, but at the time, it had seemed like my only option.
Her eyes settled on mine, but she waved a dismissive hand. “I had no idea, honestly . . . my mind was elsewhere. But Nolan told me after, and he said he went to check on you. Are you okay?”
“Actually, no.” My gaze darted up to Daniella’s. “But not because of what I saw. Your kink is your business. It’s just that seeing Nolan with another woman made me realize . . . how deeply my feelings for him ran.”
“I see.” Daniella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “What are you saying?”
The room spun with unspoken tension and emotion. I wiped my damp palms on my jeans.
“I gave him a choice. Told him what I want—me and him, an exclusive relationship.”
Daniella laughed abruptly, a humorless burst of shocked surprise, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What did he say?”
“He’s still thinking it over. I’m not sure what he wants.” My voice grew quiet, my own doubts obvious in my tone. “I’m not sure if my ultimatum will drive a wedge between us, or if it will mean the end for you and him.”
Daniella’s eyes widened just slightly, but enough for me to know that the idea scared her. “So you couldn’t handle it after all . . . us fucking the same man.”
I twisted my hands in my lap. “Actually, Nolan and I . . . we haven’t had sex.”
Daniella’s posture stiffened as the color drained from her face. “Well, that changes everything.”
“How so?”
“Because that’s not how Nolan operates. Never has. I thought you were a random booty call, someone to give him the vanilla he liked on the side. But if you haven’t even slept with him, it’s obvious he has real feelings for you.”
Simultaneous hope and dread bloomed inside my chest. The beginning of a real relationship with Nolan meant everything to me, but it would also mean coming clean about my past. Whether I was ready or not.
“Listen,” Daniella said, “if this is what you want, and if it’s what he wants, I’m not going to stand in the way. Ultimately, it’s up to Nolan.”
I nodded.
Now, we would just have to wait and see.
Chapter Seventeen
Stuffing the essentials into a black duffel bag, I go over my plan again. Rope. Check. Zip ties. Check. Directions to get the fuck out of town if this goes south. Check.