Lacey stared at the ring blankly for a second. Then she took a sharp breath and looked up at me, her lovely eyes wide. “This is . . . you really mean it?”
I laughed. “Of course I do. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“It’s just that . . .” Setting aside the cupcake, Lacey glanced away, her expression caught between joy and regret. “After everything I put you through—”
“Hey, now,” I interrupted, taking her hand. “I understand why you did what you did. And I know you’ve learned from your mistake. I know you’d never lie to me again.”
She immediately shook her head. “Of course not, but—”
“Then there’s no buts. I love you, I trust you, end of story.” I kissed her knuckles gently, then went down on one knee, still holding her hand. “So . . . Lacey Barton, will you marry me?”
She pressed her other hand to her mouth, her eyes brimming. “Yes!” she said with a laugh.
My heart overflowed. I leaned in to hug Lacey tight and claim my first kiss as her fiancé. Nothing could compare to this moment. I had the world’s most amazing woman in my arms . . . and she wanted to be mine forever.
When we paused for breath, I asked with a smirk, “You know what this means, right?”
She blinked, briefly perplexed, then giggled. “Yes, yes. I’m finally moving in with you.”
For the last six months, I had asked her roughly a dozen times if she would move in with me. She had always changed the subject or demurred politely, saying things like “Isn’t it too soon for that?” and “Oh no, Dad would flip out.” While my boss could be old-fashioned—and Lacey had already stressed him out plenty last year—I didn’t think Barton was the kind of man to have a heart attack over a little cohabitation.
“So why did you keep turning me down?” I asked. I wanted to hear the real reason, in her own words.
She sighed, although she was still smiling a little. “I had two reasons, but they’re kind of related. They’ll probably sound stupid when I say them out loud.”
I got up to sit beside her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay. Well, first, I wanted to make sure I was . . . worthy of you.” When I opened my mouth to protest, she put up her hand. “Before I came here, I’d never lived alone before. I’ve always had roommates, or lived with Dad, or . . . Troy. And after what happened last year, it became even more important for me to learn self-reliance. To be confident that I could deal with my own problems. If we lived together, it would be too tempting to depend on you, and I wouldn’t learn anything about myself. I’d just be relying on you.”
“But you’re amazing in your own right,” I teased. “It doesn’t matter who you’re with.”
She smiled despite herself. “Thanks, Nolan. For what it’s worth, I think you do make me a better person. But not in an unhealthy way, if that makes sense. You’re not a crutch, or my ‘other half,’ or whatever. I wanted to find out whether I was a whole person who really brought something to our relationship. Does that make any sense?”
I rubbed my chin. “I think so. You want to be with me because you want me, not because you need me.”
Smiling, she nodded quickly. “That’s exactly it. Us being equal partners is really important to me.”
I reached my arm around her shoulders to give her an encouraging squeeze. “And your other reason?”
“I also . . . wanted to give you your space. I know you were the one asking to move in together, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you ever feeling trapped again.” She dropped her gaze and bit her lip. “Some part of me was secretly afraid that, one day, you’d come to your senses. And if we were living together, that would make it a lot harder to do what was right for you.”
“You mean dump you?”
Her voice was very small. “Yeah.”
I brought my other arm up to hug her. “Sweetheart, it means a lot to hear you care so much about my feelings. But managing them isn’t your job—I can handle myself.” I took her chin, turning her face toward me. “And I’m not sure how I could ever fall out of love with you.”
Before I met Lacey, I had thought I was taking life easy. But it wasn’t really an easy life if I had to work so hard to maintain it—building my walls high, suspicious of any surprise, shunning any connection that might demand too much. Like living as a guest in my own home, afraid to touch or peer too deeply into anything.
Lacey had shown me how good it felt to drop those inhibitions. To be caught off guard, to lose control, to let life wash over me with all its messy entanglements and contradictions. Being with her, I realized what home was supposed to feel like.
She held out her hand and I slipped the ring onto her finger. I wasn’t much of a jewelry guy, but the sparkly rock on her slim finger was stunning. Even more so because of what it signified. She was going to be mine forever.