My heart thumping in my chest, I stepped closer. “You won’t break me, Nolan.”
His chin cut to the side as he studied me, not missing a thing. My dilated pupils, my nipples forming hard points in my bra.
“This isn’t going to end well,” he said.
“You don’t know that.” My voice was firm, drawing on an inner strength I didn’t know I had.
“Go shower,” he commanded again.
Balling my fists at my sides, I stood as tall as I could. “I needed protection. Falling in love with you was never part of the plan.”
I could have sworn I saw a flash of emotion in his eyes. Sympathy? Relief? I wasn’t sure, because as quickly as it had appeared, he’d blinked and it was gone. Replaced by that vacant mask he so often wore.
Before I broke down in tears again, I hurried into the bathroom and undressed. Then I stood under the steaming hot water and cried myself sick.
I’d fallen in love with Nolan . . . just as I’d made sure that he would never be able to love me back.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nolan
I watched the bathroom door swing shut. As soon as I heard Lacey turn on the shower, I stomped into the kitchen and poured myself a shot of whiskey. I wanted to punch the wall until my knuckles bled . . . or maybe just sleep for a week. But for now, a stiff drink would have to do. With Lacey safe and temporarily occupied, I finally had time to process everything that had happened tonight. All the secrets that had come to light.
It was in the silence of my kitchen that everything crashed around me. I was in love with Lacey. I couldn’t fight or deny the feelings soaring through me. Yet the woman I loved had used me.
Why hadn’t she just told me she was in trouble? If she had been honest with me up front—like I’d been with her—I probably would have helped her out. But she hadn’t even given me the chance to decide. We had dated for weeks, growing closer by the day, and she somehow never found a good time to air out her past? Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention my ex ran a drug ring and now his goons are tailing me, and my overbearing father is your boss.
Clearly she didn’t give a flying fuck about what I wanted. Her half-baked plan was more important than my right to make my own choices.
Except that wasn’t quite true, was it? Maybe she hadn’t cared when she met me, but her apology just now had seemed sincere. She hadn’t shied away from the ugly truth, hadn’t tried to downplay or rationalize her mistakes. I could tell how deeply sorry she was.
And then she’d said . . .
I knocked back the rest of my shot and poured another.
She was in love with me. And the most fucked-up thing of all? I believed her. I could feel that she was telling the truth. If she really didn’t care about me, she would have either abandoned me or tried to guilt-trip me into staying her boyfriend. Instead, she had looked me in the eye and asked me what she should do next. Giving me this new choice couldn’t make up for all the choices she’d stolen from me, but it was still a peace offering. An attempt to show that she understood how I felt.
I could tell Lacey that I never wanted to see her again. Hell, I could probably tell her to leave town by sunrise. It’s all up to you, her remorseful blue eyes had said. Whatever you need.
No matter how pissed I felt, no matter how badly Lacey wanted atonement, there was one tie that couldn’t be broken: I loved her back. She had made me feel things I never thought possible. She had shown me so much. Made me want to risk so much.
Every relationship was flawed somehow. Nobody was perfect, and putting two imperfect people together wouldn’t magically fix them.
I couldn’t deny that I still wanted her in my life. And while I hadn’t lied to Lacey, I had acted pretty fucking childish—clinging to Daniella, desperately trying to ignore my growing feelings, unwilling to face anything that might shake up my life. Could I really bring myself to leave Lacey just when I’d finally worked up the courage to commit to her?
The fallout from her lies had been bad, no question, but it didn’t necessarily have to end our relationship. It wasn’t something we couldn’t overcome. Provided that Lacey was serious about earning back my trust, and it really seemed like she was . . .
I wanted to give her another chance.
Immediately a weight lifted off my shoulders. This was the right decision; I could feel it. Although I was pretty sure her father was going to freak out. Speaking of which, I owed him a phone call. About thirty minutes ago.
Fuck.
Barton answered on the second ring. “Status?”
“The takedown was a success. Your daughter is safe.” I heard a noise that might have been a tired sigh of relief. “She’s here with me for the night in my home. And the police should apprehend the kidnappers soon, if they haven’t done so already.”