Baby Doll

Abby turned to Carol. “You can beat it now.”


Carol didn’t budge. Abby fought to keep her temper in check.

“Seriously, Carol, there are sick people in this hospital. Go do some real work.”

Carol gave in, offering Abby an affectionate pat on her shoulder.

“Get some rest, Abby. And, Lily, welcome home.”

In spite of herself, Abby was grateful for Carol’s friendship. Every one of the nurses she worked with here had kept her going. First as a patient and later when she was hired as an LVN. They’d kept her accountable and given her a purpose.

Carol left and Abby sat motionless in the wheelchair, trying to think of what to say or do. Lily made the decision for her, lifting up the covers and patting the bed for Abby to join. Abby wanted nothing more than to crawl in beside her sister, but instead she stared down at her enormous belly.

“No way there’s room for me. I’m a total cow.”

“Stop saying that.”

“It’s true.”

“Abby, you’re not a cow. You’re stunning.”

Abby was hideous. But hearing Lily say otherwise, she almost believed her. She moved over to the bed and climbed in. It was a tight squeeze, but they made it work. Sky lay tucked in on Lily’s other side and didn’t even stir. Once Abby was settled, Lily gently laid her head on Abby’s shoulder.

The room was still; the only sound was the beep beep beep of their BP monitor. It was so warm and peaceful. Abby’s chest grew tight. She closed her eyes. She did her breathing exercises but it didn’t work. A sob escaped, and Abby cried again. For Lily’s lost years. For her suffering.

Lily gently rubbed Abby’s back, the way she did when they were kids.

“What happened to Dad?” Lily finally said.

Abby cringed. They’d said it was a clogged valve, but Abby knew better. Some hearts keep beating when they’re broken; others just give out. Abby let out a long sigh.

“He had a heart attack.”

“When?”

“A few months after… after you were taken.”

Lily obviously wanted more details. Abby reluctantly continued.

“Dad was so strong when we lost you. He took charge in a way I’d never seen. He kept Mom and me fed, kept us from losing our minds. He wouldn’t let us say anything negative. He said we couldn’t give up hope. That we had to believe in you, believe that you’d come back. He did all these interviews. Organized the search parties. And then one day he went to work, and Anna heard a crash in the office. She found him sprawled out on the floor. They tried to operate, but his heart… he didn’t have the fight in him.”

Abby still mourned her father every single day, and now Lily would too. A miserable silence passed, and then Lily spoke.

“And that man, the man I saw today at Mom’s. Who is he?”

Abby didn’t know what to say. She didn’t have a clue. Mom wasn’t exactly a lady of virtue since Dad died. But Abby was in no place to judge.

“He’s no one important.”

“Is she dating him?”

“It’s all a little complicated.”

Abby cringed. What a stupid thing to say. As if Lily didn’t know how complicated it was. But Lily didn’t seem to notice.

“How was it? After I was gone?”

Abby wondered what she should say. That life sucked? That everything went to hell?

“I want to know, Abby. I need to know what it was like.”

“It was terrible, Lilypad. So terrible.”

Abby realized a moment too late that she was rubbing the vine-like tattoos that covered her wrists, her drunken attempt to cover up the trail of scars. Lily reached out, running her hands over the uneven lines, lines that even years later marked the sadness that had once engulfed Abby.

“Jesus Christ, Abby, what did you do?”

Abby jerked her hands away.

“It’s done now, Lil. It’s all in the past. Let’s not dwell on it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Abs. I shouldn’t have done that at the school today. I should have told them who he was.”

Abby sat up. “Are you kidding?” Abby said. “Seeing that look on his face was worth the ambulance ride. And don’t forget, I got in a few good shots too.”

Abby and Lily locked eyes. They both started to laugh, giggles at first, then louder and louder, until they were in hysterics, holding their stomachs until the laughter finally subsided. Abby spoke first.

“I missed you so much, Lil. So fucking much.”

Lily didn’t answer, still holding on to Abby’s hand, studying it with unabashed interest. “You’re not married?”

Abby’s joy evaporated, replaced by soul-crushing fear. She shook her head.

“Marriage is for old people, Lil,” she said, trying to keep the subject light.

“But you’re having a baby?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I want to hear it. All of it. There’s so much I’ve missed, Abby. I want to know all about your life. About everything.”

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