But surely there had been some male-female attraction. Over the many years of living with him, it had disappeared, but it must have been there at the beginning.
Kit took Olivia’s arm in his. “Whatever you’re so worried about, I’ll be right here.” He opened the glass door and they went inside.
“Olivia!”
She turned to see Estelle Latham standing to the side. Her new husband, Henry, was bending over a washing machine. For a moment, Olivia felt her knees weaken. This was the couple who would adopt the child Olivia gave up. They’d name her Portia after Livie’s mother’s given name, and even keep the nickname of Tisha. They would eventually take her away, and return years later with a teenage granddaughter. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”
Olivia was holding tightly onto Kit’s arm or she might have fallen. Estelle was waiting to be introduced.
“Hi, I’m Christopher. Kit. I work at Tattwell and Livie let me drive her into town.”
She was glad for his tactful explanation, for not blurting about the engagement. But then, it was a small town. People probably knew what was going on with them.
“Henry’s here to get us a new washer and I’m pushing for a dryer. I’m fed up with hanging clothes on a line.”
Olivia still couldn’t speak. If she was pregnant, then so was Estelle. Only she would lose her baby in a car crash on a slick, rainy road. If I could prevent that, Olivia thought, maybe Estelle wouldn’t need to adopt. It wasn’t easy, but she willed her body to stand up straight. She let go of Kit’s arm. “Could I see you for a moment?” She looked at Kit. “Could you...?”
“Occupy myself?” he said cheerfully. “Sure. I’ll look at blenders.”
“Livie!” Estelle said as soon as they were alone. “Is that him? Everyone in town says you two are a love match. But what about Broadway? You worked so hard for that. I’d hate to see you give it up. Will he—?”
“Estelle, I had a nightmare about you. It was really horrible.”
“I’m so sorry. That must have been awful. But—”
“You were expecting a baby and about six months along. You and Henry were in Pennsylvania visiting his parents and you were driving in a bad rainstorm. A big truck skidded and ran into your door. You lost the baby and you could never have more children, so you adopted a baby girl. But you didn’t tell her she was adopted until she found out when she was seventeen and she was really, really angry at you and Henry.”
Estelle’s eyes were saucers. “Oh. I, uh... I...”
“It was such a vivid dream that it was almost real. I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. You must swear to me that you won’t ever drive in a rainstorm. Especially not in Pennsylvania when you’re pregnant.”
“I am,” Estelle said. “Expecting, I mean. But only Henry knows—and Dr. Everett, of course. I haven’t even told my mother. And we are planning to go to Pennsylvania in a few months. Henry might get a job there.”
Olivia couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just took Estelle’s hands in hers and held them so tightly they hurt. Her eyes were pleading.
“I promise,” Estelle said. When Olivia didn’t let go, she said, “I swear. On all that’s holy, no driving in the rain until our child is safely delivered.”
Olivia released her hands and Estelle slipped her arm through Olivia’s. “I had no idea you thought so much about me. Thank you. Uh-oh. Here comes Alan.”
Olivia looked across the many people and the appliances with their big sale signs to see Alan Trumbull coming toward them. He was a good-looking young man. Not particularly tall, but he had nice hair and big brown eyes. She knew that he would keep his body trim. All that golf, she thought, then couldn’t help her anger.
“Now you’ve done it,” Estelle said. “He’s going to give your handsome Yankee some competition.”
A customer stopped Alan to ask a question about a refrigerator. He won’t know or care, Olivia thought, and sure enough, Alan stopped, but he frowned in annoyance. She looked at Estelle. “What do you mean?”
“Alan Trumbull has had a crush on you since high school.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Of course you never knew. You were the queen of the Drama Society, a princess on stage, and Alan was just a guy who played a flute in the band.”
“Alan played the flute?”
“According to the bandleader, he wasn’t very good. We girls said it was just so he could sit at your feet while you were on stage.”
Olivia was looking at Estelle in disbelief. “Are you sure of this? I don’t even remember Alan in high school.”
“My point exactly. The day you left for college, that night we girls held a pity party for Alan in that tavern out by Tattwell. Poor guy was miserable.”
Olivia was looking at Estelle in shock.
“Uh-oh, here he comes—and your pretty boyfriend is right behind him.”
Alan stopped in front of Olivia and stared at her in silence.
Her stomach clenched. She knew that look so very well. He wanted her to do something, fix something. There was a problem so of course Olivia was to take care of it. There had been times when she’d been so overwhelmed with child care, running a home and the stores, that she’d nearly burst into tears. Never, ever, never would he tell her what he wanted. He’d just stand there and stare until she figured it out.
Kit put his arm tightly around Olivia’s shoulders, his fingers digging into her skin. “I’m Christopher Montgomery,” he said. “And you are?”
Alan didn’t so much as glance at Kit, but kept staring at Olivia’s pale face. “Good to see you again, Livie. Why don’t we go somewhere and talk?” His tone was so proprietary, so full of ownership, that she took a step forward—as though she meant to obey him.
But Kit didn’t release her. “We have some work to do.” He led her to a corner of the store. “What the hell was that about?” Kit demanded. “Old boyfriend? That guy acted like he owned you. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here to see him?”
Between the emotion of seeing Estelle and Alan, Olivia felt like she might collapse. She couldn’t think clearly, and right now the past and the future were all one. “I never went on a date with him, but I was married to him for many years. It hasn’t happened yet, but it looks like he remembers it anyway.”
Kit was staring at her, speechless.
When she looked up at him, her eyes were bleak. “Now you see why I didn’t want you to come with me. What I have to do is beyond anyone’s power to understand, much less accept. I have to go. I need to find Willie, who will someday be the mother of his daughter, Alana. They haven’t met yet so I need to introduce them to each other.”
Kit was still looking at her without comprehension, and she turned away. As much as she dreaded it, she knew she had to do things to make the future right.
Habit, she thought. What was that saying about doing something three times and it will become a habit? How about doing it over and over for more than half of your life? The store with all its appliances in the ghastly “harvest gold” and “avocado green” was as familiar to her as breathing. As was Alan. All it took was one lift of his eyebrows and out of habit, she knew what he expected of her.
Why hadn’t that girl Arrieta warned her that this might happen? Probably because she didn’t know, Olivia thought.
Her fear, one that was seeping into her like some flesh-eating parasite, was that if she wasn’t successful at drastically changing things in the three weeks she’d been given, that she’d repeat her past mistakes. When she no longer remembered a world of computers and cell phones, would Alan look at her in that way that said she belonged to him and she’d go with him?
She glanced at Kit. In the future, she’d spent only a year with him, but she’d had a lifetime with Alan. Habit was a very, very strong pull.
Kit took her hand in his. “It doesn’t matter what I think or believe,” he said softly. “Tell me what you need and let me help.” He smiled at her. “Please.”