Olivia had never allowed herself to really look at the child since she was about the same age as the daughter she’d given away. But no matter how hard she tried to forget, she didn’t—and she was changed by what happened. Changed from deep within her.
I went from being full of myself to apologizing for my existence, she thought.
It may have been over forty years ago, but now that she was back in her young body, she could feel that hope for the future. With each hour she was again feeling like she could set the world on fire.
She did not want to repeat what had happened before!
That night she couldn’t sleep. It was late and she knew the children got up early and she needed to cook their breakfast, so she had to sleep. But she kept thinking about it all.
When she’d first seen that card from “Madame Zoya,” aka Arrieta Day, and the idea of going back in time had presented itself to her, she’d known exactly what she’d do. First, she’d get Kit to marry her. But if she changed that one thing, she’d have to change other things.
She’d have to make sure that Alan got with the love of his life, Willie. That was imperative. She owed them both that. After her talk with Arrieta, Olivia knew she’d have to register to study psychology at the University of Virginia.
It had all seemed so simple. If she changed what had happened to her, she’d have to change the lives of the people she’d been with.
But now that she was here, something was happening to her. She wasn’t just in her young body, but her young mind was taking over.
Last year she’d been a sixty-plus-year-old woman and a lot had happened since she’d seen Kit. For one thing, she’d had years of running a business. During ordering, overseeing shipments, and arguing with deliverymen, friendships and enemies were made. She knew nearly everyone in Summer Hill, and most of all, she’d lived with Alan and his son.
All those people, places, and happenings had dulled the pain of her past. With tremendous daily effort, she’d blocked out the loss of the baby she had given birth to—and given away.
But now things were different. With every hour, youth was seeping back into her. It wasn’t just a lack of pain in her joints but all that energy was returning to her. In her sixties, she’d looked forward to an hour to sit down and do nothing. In her twenties, a free hour was a time to do something exciting. Laugh, dance, argue, make love. Go. Do. Create.
Right now she was feeling anger. When Kit had returned to her life after years of being away, she’d been understanding, forgiving. After all, she’d seen and done a lot in that time.
And besides, Alan’s dislike of her had taken the edge off Olivia’s spirit.
She flopped onto her back and looked at the ceiling. Moonlight was coming into her room and she could see the shadows of tree branches. Over the years, she’d asked herself why she hadn’t done the sane and sensible thing of contacting his parents when she found out she was pregnant. Back then, Olivia thought her parents were old, and therefore fragile. Ha! There is nothing fragile about old age! It took strength and stamina just to get out of bed each morning.
But here she was, and she didn’t feel sane and sensible. She felt angry.
Worse, her anger at Kit was increasing by the minute. She’d made herself repress memories of what had actually happened. When she’d been alone at the maternity home, her only hope had been that Kit would show up. She told herself that maybe he hadn’t been terrified when she’d told him she loved him. She’d fantasized that he’d somehow find her and tell her the reason he’d left. The death of someone he loved usually won out.
What was bothering her now was that Kit had seen her on Broadway. He’d been in New York just before being shipped out to Libya. With a government camera in hand, he’d sneaked out a bathroom window and paid a scalper’s price for a ticket to see her on stage. He said he greatly regretted not speaking to her.
Not speaking to her! she thought.
She turned over in the bed. What kind of man was he that he could spend a summer as they had done, then just walk out and leave? He could have taken five minutes to speak to her that night in New York, tell her he had to do something for his country, tell her how he felt about her. And she would have told him of her condition. If he’d arranged for her to go to his parents, their lives would have been changed forever. Hers, his, their daughter’s. Her parents wouldn’t have died thinking they had no grandchildren. If Kit had just spoken to her!
It was well after midnight before Olivia fell asleep, and she woke often. Every time she opened her eyes, she thought of her miserable months in the maternity home. Dr. Everett had paid for it, and later she’d paid him back with interest. Plus, every time he had a patient who desperately needed a range, a refrigerator, a new sink, or heat, Olivia had supplied it. She felt she owed him for helping her, and too, she wanted to pay it back by helping other women in need.
The loneliness, the tears, the fear, all came back to her. Kit could have stopped all that pain, could have prevented the tragedy of what happened. If he’d just spoken to her that night. Was that too much to ask of him?
The children came into her room at 6:00 a.m. They wanted to know which Olivia she was going to be today. Was she going to cry some more and dance with them? Or was she going to dump hot dogs and beans into a bowl, then run off with Kit?
Olivia opened her arms and they snuggled with her. Last year Letty’s son had finally been cast in a role as something other than a heartthrob and he’d received great reviews. And Ace would get his wish to have many children.
“Tell us a story,” Letty said.
“A new one. Like the song yesterday,” Ace said.
“How about if I tell you about taming a dragon? Once upon a time, there was a skinny little boy named Hiccup.”
Olivia felt a little bad at stealing a story, but since it would be forgotten, she figured it was all right. When she saw a foot peeping around the corner, she told Uncle Freddy and Mr. Gates to come in.
It was when she was at the part where Hiccup was making a saddle for his dragon, Toothless, that Kit appeared at the door. He had on a tiny pair of shorts, his long, lean body exposed. Yesterday the sight of him had sent her into an explosion of desire. But today, she frowned at him. He was lounging against the door frame in a way that said he knew everything about her. Knew what she was thinking, what she wanted. And what she absolutely, positively must have was HIM.
Olivia looked away and went back to her story. By the time she got to Hiccup refusing to kill a dragon, Kit was gone. She couldn’t help it, but she breathed a sigh of relief.
She made pancakes for breakfast and she did her best to shape them into dragons.
At about ten, she drove Uncle Freddy’s old car into town to see her father. It was time to begin setting in motion the things that she needed to do.
She went to the Summer Hill Bank, where her father was president. The sight of him was as deeply felt as it had been with her mother. It took her a while to get her emotions under control before she could speak. They talked for over an hour before he had to go back to work. On the way out, she made arrangements to meet with Willie, a teller, and the woman Alan would love so much. As Olivia drove back to Tattwell, she felt good about what she planned to do.
In the past, she’d always been impatient, hurrying onto the next thing, but this time around, she was content to spend her time with the children and the dear old men. She led their exercise class and at the end she gave a dance recital for them—or for her as she wanted to feel what her young body could do.
In the late afternoon, she saw Kit in the vegetable patch, pulling weeds.
He glanced up at her, smiling, but when he saw her turn away, his smile disappeared.
I have to fix this, she thought as she went inside the house. She didn’t feel pregnant but it was possible that she was carrying his child. We’re to get married before the three weeks are up. He’s my destiny. Without him I’ll end up with a man who hates me. My child will...