I blush. "Well, I'm not sure if that's an accurate representation-"
She cut me off with a hard slap to the back. One that made me wince and cough at the same time. "Come now, no one with modesty ends up in Combat. Take the praise and embrace it!" She pointed to the bag on my shoulder. "You'd do best to give that to Cethan – he's loading the rest of the supplies with your prince friend right now. As soon as the two of you are done come find me and I can introduce the both of you to our leader, Mira."
I squinted at her through the morning sun. "Isn't Commander Chen leading the assignment?"
The tall woman snorted. "Him? No – this trip is for Combat mages only. Well except for Flint – he is… well, I'm not sure exactly, but I do know he is Caltothian and the king sent him specifically for this mission."
"Andy, stop chatting with the apprentice and get back to work. I won't have us depart late again because of your relentless need for gossip! Apprentice, I expect you to help the others load!"
Andy winked at me. "The dragon lady is calling. Best do what she says!" She sauntered off to the front of the ship's hull with a cheerful yet sarcastic response to her leader.
Awkwardly I set down my pack and went to help Darren and the large man, Cethan, with the rest of the supplies.
"Hello," I greeted the mage shyly. "I'm Ryiah."
The sullen-faced man looked up, irritated, and then gave me a list. "You can start with those crates there. Make sure each has the items I asked for – if we run low on supplies during the trip we will cut your rations before anyone else, so keep a keen eye lookout for anything missing."
I set to work counting in silence, trying not to jostle Darren as we took turns pulling the crates open side-by-side.
It was extremely awkward.
The only time the non-heir acknowledged my presence was when my elbow accidentally grazed his arm and he snapped, "Watch it!" He said it with so much underlying anger that Cethan shot the prince a wary look.
"S-sorry," I mumbled. For everything. He must have heard the strange pitch in my voice because the non-heir finally looked at me.
"You have nothing to apologize for." His tone said differently. Then, in his most polite, un-Darren-like voice, he added, "Can you pass that crate to your left? I think I miscounted the fish."
****
One week and five days of cold sweats, nausea, and vomiting. For some, seasickness ends after the first couple of days; for me, I discovered, it lasts the entire trip.
The lead mage, Mira, noticed right away. One of the first things she told me was that the commander and Byron had made a mistake sending her someone "so useless at sea."
She had continued to make similar comments for the rest of the trip.
On our last night before we reached Dastan Cove I spent most of the evening clutching the side rails, trying to rid the sensation of waves from flooding my stomach. My skin was pale and clammy. I prayed that the sensation would go away as soon as we took to shore. The night air was cold and biting and constant blasts sent me quivering from head-to-toe. I was determined to prove my worth once we hit land.
I was sick of the sea. But most importantly I was sick of being sick. I hated feeling useless and having the rest of the crew eye me with distaste, like they couldn't believe I was the one who had ranked second. They didn't question Darren's presence. He had been a great help casting wind to speed our travel. He took turns navigating and preparing the meals. I spent the entire time clutching the railing.
I couldn't even keep the meals down.
I swallowed hard, and cursed myself for never considering seasickness a possibility when I had signed up for a month-long deployment.
"Ryiah, Mira needs you to come back to the meeting."
I glanced up to see Darren watching me with an inscrutable expression.
I sighed and released the rail, trying my hardest to look anywhere but his face. Things had been cold, awkward, and distant between us. Almost exactly how they had been when we first arrived in Port Langli eight months back. Of course now I knew the real reason why.
"Alright, I'm coming." At that very moment I was forced to clutch my stomach and heave into the ocean below.
"She said that you should bring a bucket."
I faltered and my eyes fell to his retreating form in anger and self-pity. He had said it so carelessly, like I was nothing, like I was no one. It shouldn't hurt me. Nothing about Darren should hurt me. I shouldn't allow myself to feel jealous of this wall he had built up between us… but rational thinking had never played its course wisely where the non-heir was concerned.
I grabbed a pail and tried to remind myself I had no business wishing Darren would pine for me. I joined the rest of the crew below deck and tried not to let my expression waiver as five sets of eyes fell on my pale, clammy face and the bucket in hand.
"So glad you could finally join us, apprentice." Our leader's voice sounded anything but.