“I’m so afraid I’m going to screw this up somehow,” she said.
“I’ll be right there,” Cal said. “Just remember the four magic words. I want my lawyer. Don’t take any questions, no matter how casual, without me present. If you run into a police officer in the ladies’ room and she asks you a question, use the four magic words. No matter what.”
“You’ve done this a lot, I guess,” she said.
“It’s been a while,” he said. “But it’s like riding a bike.”
Sierra called Connie and she was invited over without hesitation. Molly started to wag and whine the second Connie’s house came into view. As usual, he didn’t even wait for her to knock. He opened the door, slid an arm around her and simultaneously gave Molly a pat. “I have ice cream,” he said.
“Maybe we can have some,” she said. “Something has come up. I’m going to have to be out of town for a few days.”
“Oh?” he said, pulling her into the house.
“Get out the ice cream. I’ll tell you about it.”
“Bowls?” he asked, heading for the kitchen.
“You only use bowls with your parents and grandparents and with your warm cookies,” she said. “With your girl, two spoons and a carton.”
“In bed?” he asked hopefully.
“How about the couch,” she suggested.
They settled in, her legs draped over his, the ice cream carton on a dish towel.
“So, I was involved in a car accident back in Michigan. Someone was hurt—a guy on a bicycle. He’s fine now, I’m told. I wasn’t driving but I guess the driver is still being sought by the police. I barely knew him and don’t have much information but I’m one of the only people who did. I need to go back, answer questions.”
“So was there a crime?” he asked.
Of course—he was a paramedic. He probably knew a lot about accidents. “I guess it remains unresolved and the driver is long gone. So, I have to go back, tell them anything I can, which is hardly anything. Cal is going with me to make sure I don’t somehow get myself in trouble. I’ll be gone just a few days. It shouldn’t be too complicated.”
“Do you have to pay a fine or anything?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she said. “Look, I told them at the diner it was a legal matter and I had to take a week off. I didn’t want to mention the police. If you could manage not to mention this...”
He put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “I don’t talk about you. What aren’t you telling me?” he asked.
“Can we wait on all the grim details?” she said. “There was a thing with the guy, the driver, that I still can’t talk about, that I have trouble even thinking about. For right now all I have to do is tell the police what I remember of the incident. It shouldn’t take long.”
“And your brother is going to make sure you’re protected?”
“Well, he’s a lawyer. He’s much smarter about things like accidents and laws than I am.”
“Sierra,” he said, filling her mouth with ice cream again, “are you coming back?”
She couldn’t answer right away, her mouth full of ice cream. “Of course.”
“Are you taking Molly?”
“I can’t take her. We’re flying. We’re leaving Sunday and coming back on Thursday. I think Sully will be happy to watch her and Maggie will be around the Crossing some of that time but she has to go to Denver.”
“I’ll check in on them,” he said. “Make sure they’re doing okay with Molly. But, Sierra, listen, don’t be afraid to tell me things. It’s okay to trust me.”
“I know.”
“Let Molly stay with me,” he said. “I’ll take her to Sully when I have to work.”
“She might get into mischief. She might chase the elk, if they show up.”
“I’m going to have separation anxiety if both of you go.”
“Well, Connie, it’s not as if we’re always going to be together 24/7, you know. I’m sure there will be times in the future when I’ll want to go somewhere and can’t take you.”
“I know that,” he said. “But this is different.”
“Why is it different?”
“Because, for some reason you don’t want to talk about, you’re afraid.”
Sierra stayed the night with Conrad, of course. He told her that just because he wanted to make love to her all the time, that wasn’t all he cared about. “I care about you in a way so solid and sure, I don’t doubt you at all. Not a shred of doubt. So you take all the time you need to get sure of me. I’ll be right here when you are.”
As she lay in his arms she decided. She loved him. She had since almost the beginning. She would go back to Michigan to see if she could clean up her mess, and then she would come back to him and tell him everything. It was only fair. He deserved a chance to decide if his feelings could hold up after everything was said.
What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life...to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
—George Eliot
Chapter 15
LOLA WASN’T SURE she would ever get over the embarrassment of bursting into tears at a compliment. A compliment? It was practically a tribute! And then her behavior only got worse and worse. She wouldn’t answer Tom’s knock at her door because she was nearly sobbing. When he called her later that night, she begged him to forgive her but to let it go and not talk about it. Cole was working that night but Trace asked her what was wrong and she said she had a headache and wanted to go to bed early. Typical of a sixteen-year-old boy, he didn’t push that excuse because he really didn’t want to know if his mother had some kind of girl problem.
Lola had been enjoying Tom’s company so much. It was all right with her that they were only going to be friends. In fact, it was better that way. They had plenty to talk about, laugh about, even argue about, though if they disagreed it was always friendly. They had shared interests. Having someone of the opposite sex to talk to met a need for Lola. She didn’t need a lover or a partner or husband but she was human—it was nice to have a man for a friend. And if they were just friends, there was no room for disappointment or dashed hopes.
Then he held her hand and remarked on her attractiveness. He made her sound like a beauty queen when she really was a plain, unfussy, unremarkable, overweight forty-year-old woman with two kids. Alone with two kids and an irresponsible ex who had never been that much help. She didn’t wear makeup, she cut her own hair and had lately been looking at the hair color section of the drugstore. She didn’t have enough money to be getting fancy dye jobs at the salon. Her clothes were the nicest she could find in the discount store and she wore them long after the styles had advanced. She just didn’t live up to all he was saying.