“Unless you’re hiding something, your wardrobe is made up of jeans, shorts, sweats, T-shirts and so forth. You should go to the police department looking classy. Smart. Your lawyer will be wearing a suit. He’s delicious in a suit—I live for those days he puts on a suit. You can’t go to the police department to be questioned about a felony looking like a homeless teenager. Cal will take you by a store for the right shoes. My feet are more like paddles than feet or I’d loan you shoes.”
Tears gathered in Sierra’s eyes. One of these days, she thought, I am going to actually break down and cry.
“I want to come with you, but I can’t,” Maggie said. “But I bet I can help—I’ve been through about a million depositions as the alleged guilty party. It can be brutal.”
“Oh, Maggie...”
“You’re going to be all right,” she said. “Cal is brilliant. He was one of the most sought after criminal defense attorneys in Michigan. Before Lynne died. He knows the ropes.”
“I know,” she said with a sniff.
“Well, come on, let’s try it on,” she said. She sat down on the bed, rubbing her belly. “I know someone who can make alterations for us in a hurry but we have a few days. I think he’s got plane tickets for the weekend...”
“Sunday,” Sierra said. “I took a week off at the diner—I said it was a legal matter, that I had an accident over a year ago and there’s a deposition for a lawsuit, but that I wasn’t in trouble. I hope that’s true. A week. Those high school waitresses are getting all the time they need.” She pulled her shirt off over her head.
“If they fire you, we’ll find something else. Maybe something better,” Maggie said. “Don’t worry about stuff like that. This is survival. We’re all going to back you up.”
Off came the shorts. She slipped the little black dress over her head and turned around for Maggie to zip up the back.
“Wow,” Maggie said. “That’s close. I think we need to take it in a little bit, right up the side seams and raise the hem a couple of inches. It has to fit right and be the exact right length—you can’t wear it too short or too long. Cal says when you’re perceived as guilty, you don’t go to court with tight, revealing clothes but it’s even worse if you try to look Amish. Style and taste, that’s the prescription. Whether people realize it or not, their first impressions are hard to erase.”
Sierra put on the jacket which seemed to fit in the shoulders.
“A little hem in the sleeves—they’re a little too long,” Maggie said. “We might be okay on the length. What do you think?”
Sierra turned in front of the mirror. “It’s beautiful, Maggie. Thank you. I never would have thought of this. What I’d wear was the furthest thing from my mind.”
“I bet you’re terrified,” Maggie said. “I certainly was for my lawsuits. And I’m pretty brave.”
“There are so many parts of this adventure that scare me, I can’t even describe,” Sierra said. “It feels like a problem with a lot of moving parts.”
“Sierra, have you had counseling?”
Sierra nodded. “It came up in rehab. I cheated—I didn’t tell the whole story. Well, I wasn’t sure of the whole story. I suspected we hit something and he acted like we hit a person but I thought... I hoped he was just trying to terrify me. Sexual assault came up a lot in rehab.” She shook her head sadly. “I never would have imagined how hard it is, how much shame is involved in rape.”
“I haven’t experienced it, thank God, but I’ve learned a lot about it. Sierra, I’m just so damn sorry.”
“Thanks. But now it’s time to be accountable. I’d rather not be, but I’m afraid there aren’t any options.”
“He needs to be accountable,” Maggie said. “He’s a criminal.”
“Yeah.”
She tried on the pants and blouse; only a hem was needed.
“Is Sully taking care of Molly? I would be glad to but I’ll be in Denver for a couple of days...”
“I haven’t talked to Sully yet but I’m sure he’d be happy to. He loves her. She’s kind of a handful, though.”
“What about Connie?” Maggie asked, her voice soft.
Sierra shrugged. “He knows about a lot of my checkered past, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell him this one.”
“Why?” Maggie asked.
Sierra lifted her chin. “I get that it’s not my fault but it’s very hard not to feel dirty. It’s like he stained me and I can’t get the stain off.”
“Oh baby,” Maggie said. “You have to live it off. One day at a time, just like everything else. But there’s one thing I think you should consider. While you’re going through this, while you’re in Michigan, let’s get you set up with some counseling. Cal knows who to ask, how to find the best person.”
“That’s worth considering, but I’m hoping not to be with the police too long,” Sierra said. “Hopefully I’ll spend a couple of hours answering questions and tell them where I can be reached, then come home.” She smiled. “Home. I like thinking of this as home and I’ve only been here since March.”
“Can I ask a personal question?” Maggie said.
“You think I have anything personal left?” Sierra asked.
“Did you have a full medical workup after...after the assault?”
“The very next morning I went to a women’s clinic. They did a rape kit even though I had showered. Since I wouldn’t go to the police, I have no idea what’s become of it, but I was tested for STDs. If I’d gone to the police, the kit would have been preserved in evidence, but that didn’t happen. I had a follow-up exam a few months later and was treated for an STD. Then there was a checkup to make sure that was taken care of. All clear.”
“How about depression?” Maggie asked.
“I ran the gamut. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, you name it. It’s the rare person who doesn’t flirt with all the disorders. It’s also the rare person who doesn’t bring a lot of crap in addition to addiction to the program. I have a feeling that now I’m going to get to do all of that again. For a while anyway.”
“I’ll talk to Cal about lining up some counseling, just in case. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Sierra folded up the clothes she’d be taking to the dry cleaner in Leadville who did alterations; Maggie had given her the name. She stayed for dinner with Cal and Maggie and learned that Cal had already put in a call to an old colleague of his, a woman who had an extremely good reputation in criminal law. “I’m going with you to the police, but I wanted to give her a heads-up. We won’t call her unless we have legal issues. Normally I would advise any client of mine not to talk to the police, at least not without a lawyer, but under the circumstances I think the best course is cooperation. I’ll be there to be sure the questions you answer are directed at solving the felony hit-and-run, not at turning you into the suspect. We’ll cooperate because you’re the victim.”
“Could they charge me with obstruction?”
“They could, but they’d have to prove you knew you were hiding something. You can’t really obstruct if you don’t know the facts yourself. You were very specific—you were fleeing the rapist, not the law. You can’t tell them what you can’t remember, what you didn’t see.”