“What are we cheers-ing to?”
He leans forward and looks at me, and I suddenly feel so naked and vulnerable. He stares into my eyes, and I want to look away, because my whole body feels like it’s on fire, but I also don’t want to look away, because I love the way he’s looking at me right now. He’s looking at me with adoration, compassion, kindness… love. Though I want so much more, physically, with Nick, right now he’s giving me his heart, and loving someone with your heart is so much better than loving someone with your eyes.
“We’re cheers-ing to your advice.”
“What advice?” I ask skeptically.
“To keep some room in my heart for the unimaginable.”
“Oh,” I say shakily, “I guess I give pretty damn good advice.”
“You do.”
I smile. “How did this happen?”
“Slowly,” he says quietly. “One minute, you were Bria’s nanny. The strange woman sleeping in my bed.” I laugh. “And then one day… you were so much more. I don’t even know when it happened.”
“I think I fell for you the night you punched Dan.” Now he’s the one laughing.
His eyes crinkle, and his face gets serious. “I still don’t know if I’m totally ready, Evi. I’m just putting that out there. It’s scary for me.”
“I know,” I say, taking his hands in mine. “It’s scary for me, too.”
“Sometimes it’s good to be scared,” he whispers, and his eyes flick to my lips.
Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me.
But he doesn’t. He pulls back and holds his wine glass up again. We click them together, and I take a deep sip, trying to distract myself. His “almost kisses” are just as intense as the real kisses.
The waiter brings our first course, but I don’t remember ordering.
“I ordered for you,” he says, reading my mind.
“Thank you.” I’m not sure if I’m offended or flattered that he knows me so well. As I eat the raw fish tartar, I realize it’s the latter. “Oh my god.” I moan. “This is so good.”
Nick smiles and nods. “Best food,” he says between bites. “Only the best for you.”
The food keeps coming—fresh fish, colorful salads, grilled shrimp, fruit, and dessert, which consists of chocolate-covered strawberries. I have to roll my eyes slightly at that one.
“Nick,” I joke between bites of the chocolaty sweetness, “you don’t need to impress me. You already have me.”
He just shakes his head and laughs, and I realize, there it is.
The look. The same look of happy contentment he had in the picture on his nightstand with Isabel.
And it was because of something I said.
After Nick pays, we head back to the golf cart. I start to slide in, but instead, one of the workers gets into the driver’s seat. Nick hands him some money, and he takes my hand and leads me to the beach.
“Thought we could walk back,” he says. “I’m not ready for tonight to be over.”
“Sounds good,” I say softly. I don’t want the night to be over, either.
The moon is bright, and it illuminates the white sand. I feel like we’re in some sort of fairytale, because the stars are so pronounced, and I can see the Milky Way. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a night sky like this. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way about a guy. This might be the best night of my life. We don’t say anything until we get a good half a mile into our walk back to our room.
“I think it’s safe to say that your employment with me is effectively terminated,” he says casually, and I stop walking.
“Are you firing me?” I balk, and I put my hands on my hips.
“Yes,” he whispers. “Because I don’t want you temporarily. I want you permanently.”
Before I can say anything, he pulls me in close to him so that our faces are only an inch apart. I cease to breathe, and my heart hammers repeatedly against my ribcage.
“But what about Bria?” I whisper.
He pulls back, defeated, and I realize he hadn’t really thought about it.