Those delicate, soft lips were another miracle. She kissed him back, and that was a miracle too.
He whispered against her mouth, “After I get justice for my brother, I am going to take control of Ys and make it a better place. I already have treaties with Karre and Mignez. Just so we’re clear.”
When he lifted his head again, she stared at him warily. “I see?”
She sounded so mystified, he had to kiss her again.
He could have told her, “I’m going to take you too, and keep you for my own.”
He could have, but he didn’t. Some conquests needed to be made in careful, strategic steps.
“Get some sleep, love,” he said. “We’ll talk again soon.”
After she had thrown a cloaking spell over him and he had climbed out the window, Lily went to bed.
Much to her surprise, she did sleep soundly for a few hours, but then restlessness set in before dawn. Driven by tension that knotted her body, she rose, washed and dressed for the day, and left her tower.
Down in the kitchens, they had barely started to cook, but when she appeared, the head cook was honored to fix an early breakfast of scrambled eggs, buttered bread, and sweet, hot tea for her.
After she ate, the restlessness was worse. She went up to her office, started a fire, and answered a few letters. When her secretary, Prem, appeared, she smiled and said, “Good morning. Please bring Gennita to me at once.”
“Yes, your grace.” Prem smiled back and whisked away.
The minutes advanced so slowly she could almost hear the wheels of time grinding together. She was all but leaping out of her skin. Her heart raced, and a fine film of sweat covered the back of her neck.
What was wrong with her? She wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming meeting, but she didn’t feel bad enough to warrant this physical reaction. She forced herself to answer another letter.
When Gennita finally appeared in her doorway accompanied by Prem, Lily told her secretary, “That will be all for now.” To the older priestess, she beckoned. “Please step inside, and if you would be so kind, shut the door behind you.”
“Certainly, your grace.” Gennita gave her a forced smile. After closing the door, she turned and said, “I expect this is about what we discussed yesterday.”
Lily remained seated. “We didn’t have a discussion,” she said. “We had an argument. You were inappropriate, and you made accusations.”
Accusations that were very hurtful. But no. Don’t talk about feelings.
The older woman stiffened. “You grace, I don’t appreciate being scolded as if I were a misbehaving schoolgirl.”
“Neither do I.” Lily paused to let her cold words sink in. “Out of the love and respect I have for you, I am going to give you a choice, Gennita. There is a wonderful appointment in Karre, just waiting for the right priestess and her family. It’s clear they value the work that Camael’s priestesses do. You have the right healing skills they need. They have a large, comfortable house with gardens that sound beautiful—your husband would love them—and the temple is well kept. And the stipend sounds very reasonable. You could have a happy life there if you want.”
As she spoke, tears started in the other woman’s eyes and she looked shaken. “We’ve lived here for the past twenty years. My grandchildren are here. Are you ordering me to go to Karre and leave behind the rest of my family?”
“No,” Lily told her firmly. “I am offering you a choice, and you have a day to make it. You can explore this new opportunity in Karre, or you can stay here. But if you stay, you must abide by the new rules I’ve set in place. There’s a time for discussion, and there’s a right way to disagree. Confronting me in my office, ignoring me when I tell you to stop, and hurling emotional accusations at me is never going to be acceptable. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, your grace,” Gennita whispered.
The older woman looked so miserable, Lily pushed away from her desk and walked around to her. Taking Gennita’s hands, she pressed them and said quietly, “Life feels scary right now. The abbey may thrive or fail on choices that I have to make, and if you think I’m not aware of that every moment of every single day, you are badly mistaken. But you must remember—the goddess picked me, and I still have to make those choices to the very best of my ability.”
“I know the position is hard.” Gennita’s voice was choked. “Raella had sleepless nights over some of the things she had to do.”
Lily took in a deep breath. “I’m sure it doesn’t help that I don’t see things the same way you do. I don’t put information together in the same way as you, and I understand that must be frightening and inexplicable at times. If you feel like you must go, I will miss you. But if you stay and do something again like you did yesterday, I will make the next appointment a mandatory one.”
“I understand.”
Lily turned back to her desk, picked up the appointment request from Karre and handed it to the other woman. “Why don’t you read the details of the request over with your husband? Let me know by noon tomorrow if you want to take the position.”
Beginning to look calmer, Gennita accepted the letter. “Thank you, Lily. I can see the care and attention that you put into picking this opportunity. You even thought of Edward’s love of gardening. And I apologize for yesterday. I didn’t consider my words very well.”
Lily said, “Apology accepted. Now, if you’ll excuse me, as you can see my desk is worse than ever.”
“Of course.” Gennita paused, glanced at Lily’s desk, then gave her a tentative smile. “If I might make a small suggestion?”
Lily reached for more patience. “What’s that?”
“Get a second secretary. Prem is wonderful, but I don’t think she’s up to handling some of the more challenging tasks that you could still delegate to someone else. Dulcinda, perhaps, or maybe Evie.” Gennita met her gaze. “You’re right—life feels a little scary right now. You should be free to focus on those bigger decisions, not paperwork.”
Lily blinked. “Thank you. I’m going to seriously consider that.”
After Gennita had gone, she turned in a circle and stared at the empty room. While Gennita had been predictably upset at being given an ultimatum, the conversation hadn’t gone as badly as it could have.
It had actually gone better than she’d expected. Gennita had even called her by name again.
But instead of feeling relieved, she felt worse than ever. Her hands shook and her heart raced, and she wanted to throw up.
This felt like full-blown panic.
This was how she had felt when Jada kicked the table apart, drew his knife, and lunged for her. Like there was a clear, immediate threat in her face, right now. But there was nothing, nothing, nothing in her office.…
The details of the office around her faded, and she caught glimpses of another scene.
Winter-bare trees, snow-covered ground, cold biting her lungs. The blow of a horse’s gasp for breath. It had been running for too long.
Others shouting. Ride faster!
And: If we try to go any faster, we’ll kill Marcus!