“How old were you?” He took the can from her, scooped out a ravioli, and ate it.
Laughing at the face he made, she replied, “I was three. Outside, the shiny woman disappeared, but I could hear her voice, and I could feel when she nudged me. Our house sat at the edge of town, and she led me into the forest, past the ruins of a building, and along a creek—and as I walked, everything around me changed. Suddenly it was daylight, and I was in a field, and there was no creek, nor were there any ruins. I had walked down a crossover passageway.”
At this point in the story, his gaze never left her face. “Were you frightened?”
Shrugging, she told him, “Sure, a couple of times. But at first I was too excited to get to my new home and mommy. Then I was bored. After that I got used to it, I guess. When I was found, apparently I’d been wandering the countryside for more than a month.”
“This story is killing me. You were three?” He shook his head. “It’s a miracle you survived. What did you eat?”
She took the can back from him. “I ate the mushrooms and the berries the goddess told me to eat and drank at streams when she told me to drink. I had my bunny and my pillow, and I slept in the woods.”
He blew out a breath. “Nobody can survive on berries and mushrooms for a month, especially not a small growing child.”
She laughed. “I know, right? They told me I was in remarkable shape for everything I’d been through—my teeth were perfect, and I was healthy, and fit, and very, very dirty.”
“In Ys.”
“Yes, in Ys.” Scraping the sides of the can, she carefully licked the sauce off the blade. “Since discovering a new crossover passageway is officially a very big deal, Raella sent priestesses to verify everything in person. They interviewed everyone in the town and searched for ten miles in every direction.” She paused. “They found the creek and the ruins—they learned it had once been a courthouse—but there was no passageway. The house where I’d lived had burned to the ground early one morning. The fire had killed my mother and her boyfriend in their sleep, but they never discovered the body of a child. That’s all I know. The abbey took me in, and I’ve been here ever since.”
Setting the empty can aside, she avoided looking at him. While the consternation and awe she saw at times in other people’s faces was understandable, it also made her feel lonely and isolated. She didn’t want to see that in his expression.
Long, lean fingers came under her chin, and he coaxed her around to face him. Feeling cranky, she complied. Fine. How he felt about her was irrelevant anyway.
What she saw in his gaze melted away her crankiness. His eyes were alight with… admiration? Respect? “I am beyond honored to meet that brave little girl.”
That was a stupid thing to say. She had no business feeling touched by it or warmed in any way. “That little girl has been gone for twenty-four years.”
“Of course she’s not gone. She still lives inside you, and you have her magic and her bravery.” He caressed her cheek. “My advance scout reported that, while he was here, he heard people talking of the new Chosen. They said she was kind and thoughtful and a true visionary in every sense of the word. Your people love you.”
Despite the harsh words she and Gennita had exchanged, she knew it was true. Her people did love her. The ones she had sent out to fight and die loved her. Wulf’s face disappeared in a blur.
He said, “Don’t let those demons back in, Lily.”
She had to push her lips together hard before she could whisper, “I sent people out to fight today. I sent friends out to fight today, and some of them won’t come back.”
A long silence greeted those words. “Was this your first time?”
Nodding, she swiped at the tears that spilled over. “Like I said—this is mine to deal with. But today was a hard day.”
Cupping the back of her neck, he kissed her forehead. His lips were warm and firm. “In case you were wondering, no, it doesn’t get easier. You’ll need to find ways to cope with it.”
“I know. And I need to find ways to better handle opposition and conflict. I had a bad run-in with one of the elders on the council earlier. I don’t think our relationship is ever going to be the same.”
He murmured as if to himself, “You’re not going to let me ride in and fix all your problems, are you?”
With a snap of focus, she met his gaze. “What do you think?”
He chuckled. “I think I just came up against one of those boundaries again.” Sobering, he continued. “I might not be able to fix your problems, but I’ve been in command for a lot longer than you. If I might offer a small piece of advice, don’t be too nice tomorrow. Discourse and disagreement are one thing, but don’t let anyone challenge your authority or show you disrespect. You’re the one in charge, not them.”
She groaned and clapped her hands over her face. “She was one of my teachers. I used to sit on her lap for story time.”
“Poor Lily.” He rubbed her back. “Do you still need to sit on her lap for story time?”
“What?” She straightened and glared at him. “No!”
Wulf loved watching how her gaze sparked, so much so that he was tempted to needle her further. But behind that flash of fire, there was real exhaustion, and dark smudges circled her eyes.
Instead, he shrugged. “Sounds like you know things have moved on. While you haven’t told me what you two said to each other, maybe she needs to be reminded of that too.”
The corners of her mouth turned down. “I’ll think it over.”
“Good.” He was still hungry. Now that she no longer needed his knife to eat the appalling orange food, he spread more caviar on salt bread and ate. “Don’t mind me. Go ahead and help yourself to the chocolate.”
While he braced for another argument, this time she surprised him and reached for the candy. “You have destroyed my integrity. I won’t forget this.”
He nudged her shoulder with his. “No one need ever know about the chocolate and that other weird orange stuff. Your secret is safe with me.”
Giving him a lopsided smile, she broke a chocolate bar into pieces. “We’ve talked more than enough about me. What about you? What was your childhood like?”
“Mine was as straight and uncomplicated as an arrow. Nothing cutthroat, no funny business, no disappearing crossover passageways. I roamed a little too far sometimes, I was cosseted by everyone, and my curfew was my stomach. I was always home by supper.”
“Your mother was lady of Braugne, correct?”
“That’s right.” When he finished the caviar, he ate the last of the salt wafers, then looked around with regret. He was still hungry. “Her first husband died after she had Kris. After a few years, she remarried and gave birth to me. I was always thrilled that he was the heir. There was no way in hell I wanted to rule Braugne.”
He still didn’t. Now he wanted to rule all of Ys.