“No, Braxton,” she says.
I look at her over my shoulder. Her face is severe.
“What do you mean, no?”
“You heard me,” she says. “You cannot look at Kylie like that. Not ever. Do you understand me?”
Shit. My heart starts to beat too fast and adrenaline runs through my veins. What the fuck do I say now? “What are you worried about?”
“I’m worried about you. And her,” she says. “And you being you. Kylie is not on the menu, Brax. You have to keep her in the friend zone.”
Too late for that. “Where is this even coming from?”
“The three of us are fragile,” she says. “We’ve known her so long, it seems like we’ll all be friends forever. It’s hard to imagine it any other way. But a guy-girl friendship is always breakable, especially when the guy is you. So whatever thing you’re doing in your head where you think you can make something work out with her, you need to stop. Now. Right this second. Because if you hook up with Kylie, it will absolutely fucking kill me.”
It’s like my lungs are caught in a vice. I’m panicking; I can’t breathe. My head is spinning, but I keep my expression still so it won’t show. Hide behind my walls. I’m pretty good at maintaining a tough exterior, especially in front of Selene. I’ve always had to. But this has me crumbling inside, reality crashing down on me like shards of broken glass.
No. There has to be another way.
“Kill you? That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”
Her eyes are huge, and her stress and fear pours into me, like it’s my own. I can feel it, hard edged and biting. The twin thing again.
“No, it’s not dramatic,” she says. “Don’t do it. I could not handle it if you hooked up with her. Do you understand me? You can’t. Promise me.”
“What?”
“Promise me you won’t hook up with Kylie.”
I stare at her, the rawness of her emotions pouring over me. She’s totally and completely serious.
No, Selene. Please don’t make me do this. Please don’t make me give her up.
“Come on, Brax,” she says.
She needs this from me, as much as she’s ever needed anything. And I always give my sister what she needs. I run a hand through my hair to give myself a second before I have to speak, then croak out a reply: “Sure, Selene. Whatever. It’s not like that. Kylie’s my best friend.”
“Promise,” she says.
I swallow hard. “I promise.”
Her shoulders relax and her expression softens. “Okay, good.”
I need to get out of here. Now. “I have clients this afternoon. I have to head out.”
“Okay, so movie night this weekend?” she asks.
“Sure.”
Somehow I make it outside to my car. I’m surprised I’m still on my feet. Shouldn’t I have dropped to the ground by now? Isn’t that what happens when your heart stops beating? The blood quits flowing and your brain is starved for oxygen and you die.
How am I still alive?
I can’t hurt Selene. I’ve been running interference for her since we were kids, standing in the way of anything that threatens her. Sometimes things get by me, especially where her relationships are concerned. I know I can’t protect her from everything, and fuck, she has horrible taste in men. When she gets hurt, I deal with it with alcohol and sex, and whispered threats if I’m lucky enough to run into the bastard who messed with her.
But never me. I’m never the one doing the hurting, and I never will be. I guard her with my life. I’d take a bullet for her—give her a kidney or a lung or my fucking heart if hers stopped working.
I certainly don’t need mine anymore.
I’ve made two real promises in my life. One was at our parents’ funeral. I didn’t cry that day, even though I was ten and no one would have blamed me. I didn’t cry because Selene needed to, and she needed me to be strong for her. I held her tight as we stood by their graves and I whispered my promise. I will never hurt you. I will always take care of you.
And I have. I’ve never broken that promise.
The second promise was when I told Kylie I wouldn’t break her.
My two promises are colliding. There’s no way I can keep them both. I can’t stay with Kylie without hurting Selene. I heard it from her own lips, saw the truth of it in her face.
I can’t do that to her.
My only hope left is Kylie’s strength. Knowing what I have to do makes me feel like I’m drowning, but I cling to the thought that Kylie can take it. I’ll explain, and maybe she’ll understand.
And then I imagine her face when I tell her it’s because of Selene—that Selene doesn’t want us to be together, that she needs the dynamic of our friendship to stay the same. That I’m faced with the impossible, and there’s nothing else I can do. That Kylie has my heart and always will, but I’ll give it up for my sister if I have to.
I can’t tell Ky. She’ll be angry with Selene. Of course she will. She’ll blame her, and I’ll do the very thing I’m trying to avoid: ruin Selene’s friendship with Kylie.