“No, no. Please. I have food at home. I should get going as well.”
Outside, it was still light, but the sun was hidden behind a bank of dark clouds coming in from the west. There was a distant roll of thunder. “I’ll walk you home,” Harry said.
“You don’t have to.”
“It’s sort of on my way.”
They walked up the hill from the village, stopping outside the large redbrick Victorian where Grace had rented the room. There was an old Mazda RX-7 in the driveway and Harry wondered if it was hers.
“Let’s do this again,” Grace said, as a few fat drops of rain started to hit the sidewalk.
“I’d like that,” Harry said.
He turned and began to walk toward home, wondering if he’d get there before it really began to rain hard, when he heard Grace’s footsteps following him. “Wait up,” she said, and he turned.
For one brief moment, Harry thought she was going to keep coming and kiss him, but she stopped, a little breathless, and said: “I did know your father, a little bit, from down in New York. From Ackerson’s.”
“Oh,” Harry said.
“I felt bad lying to you about it.”
“Why did you?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t want you to think . . . We didn’t know each other well.”
“That’s okay.”
“Good night again,” she said, walking backward, smiling, nodding her head slowly, a gesture that seemed to say that she felt better now that she’d told the truth. But she hadn’t told the truth, at least not the whole truth. Harry was sure of that.
Chapter 15
Then
They sat on the beach together, up near the wall, each on one of the flat stones that clustered along the high-tide mark. It was high tide now, an occasional wave lapping at their feet.
Gina had wanted to come inside the condominium, but Alice had stepped out through the door, pulling it shut behind her, and said that they should go talk on the beach. It was clear that Gina was either drunk or seriously messed up on some kind of drug. Her eyes were red rimmed and unfocused, and her words sounded gluey in her mouth. Alice held her arm as they walked toward the water.
“I’m sorry, Al,” Gina said, “but I had to say something, because if I hadn’t then I’d keep thinking it, but now it’s ruined us and you’re my only friend in Kennewick, only real friend, and now you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” Alice said.
“You don’t know what it’s like in New York. I, like, don’t trust anyone. Anyone. Everyone tells me I’m beautiful, and everyone tells me how I’m this big star, but I’m not, Al. Margery, you know Margery?”
Alice didn’t, but nodded anyway. They were near the beach, the ocean’s pulsing roar muffling Gina’s words. Alice let her talk. She told a long, rambling story about her manager, Margery, and how she’d thought Margery was the only one she could trust, but how it turned out that she couldn’t trust anyone. While she spoke, Alice looked at Gina’s hand where she had bitten her. It had been swaddled in a white bandage, and even in the dim moonlight, Alice could see dark spots where the blood was seeping through. I did that, she thought. She remembered what it felt like, her teeth sinking into Gina’s flesh.
“But I trust you,” Gina was saying. “And that’s why I can’t lose you, Al. I can’t lose you, and I don’t care what you’re doing with your mom’s husband. That’s not my business and I should never have brought it up. I mean, do what you want, right?”
“We’re not doing anything.”
“Hey, I get it, Al. He’s hot. I’d do it with him.”
For a brief moment Gina’s words provoked in Alice an urge to pick up the nearest rock and drive it into Gina’s face. Instead, she said, “Let’s go swimming.”
Gina swiveled her head toward the black expanse of the ocean, almost as though she was just realizing that it was there. “Really?” she said.
“Sure, why not?”
“It’ll be freezing.”
“It won’t be. You’re just scared. It’ll be amazing.”
Gina stared toward the water for a moment, then said, “Sure. Okay.” She smiled, leaning in toward Alice. Her breath had an almost chemical smell to it, like rubbing alcohol. She stood. “Let’s go swimming. It can be symbolic, like our fresh start.” She pushed her jeans down her long legs, almost slipping on the rocks, then pulled her shirt and sweater over her head. Alice, still wearing just the pajama bottoms and the T-shirt, pulled them off, feeling awkward and exposed, but wanting to get into the water. Gina’s eyes quickly scanned Alice’s naked body, and Alice resisted the urge to cover her breasts, which suddenly seemed awkward and fleshy next to Gina’s flat chest and small, dark nipples.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Gina said. “It’s going to be freezing.” She pulled the bandage off her hand and tossed it on the sand.
“The water’s probably warmer than the air right now,” Alice said, stepping from the rocks onto the hard-packed wet sand. As soon as she was ankle high in the water, she realized the water temperature was probably exactly the same temperature as the air. It felt like stepping into nothing. She waded out, as Gina flew past her, spinning her arms and screaming, crashing into the surf. “Chicken,” she yelled back at Alice.
Alice kept wading forward. Everything was dark except for the foam of the breaking surf. A large wave was rolling toward her and Alice dove under it, swam underwater, then came up next to Gina. “This feels fucking amazing,” Gina said, tilting her head back so that her hair was in the water.
Alice found herself annoyed to share the sentiment. She’d never swum naked before and the grasp of the ocean water on her skin made her feel incredibly alive. “Let’s see how far we can swim out,” she said.
“Maybe we’ll get eaten by sharks,” Gina said, then laughed drunkenly, swallowing some water then coughing it out.
Alice took a deep breath, filling her lungs, her feet planted on the dense, sandy bottom. The moon emerged from behind a cloud and shone silver on the water. “No, it will be great. Trust me.” Alice began to swim, Gina beside her. She went slow, not wanting Gina to fall behind. The water turned colder and calmer the farther out they went. She could hear Gina starting to breathe hard, snorting out water as she turned her head every other stroke. “You okay?” Alice asked.
“Yeah. A little tired.” Gina spun onto her back, her breath sounding ragged.
“If we go a little farther there’s a sandbar.”
“Yeah, let’s keep going,” Gina said, spinning and beginning to swim again, her arms slapping the water. Alice remembered what Gina had been like at cross-country practices, always willing to slow down if Alice was behind, but always making sure that she would be first to finish. Alice swam by her side. She was beginning to breathe heavily, too, but her arms felt strong, slicing through the water, propelling her. She felt like she could swim forever. She sped a little ahead of Gina, steadily moving away from shore, the water now much colder.
“Stop, hold up,” Gina yelled, her voice hoarse, and Alice stopped, spun, and swam back toward her. The lights along the shore seemed far away and insignificant. “I think I’m cramping,” Gina said, and there was some panic in her voice.
“Just rest for a moment,” Alice said.
“Have you felt the sandbar yet?”
“I haven’t, but I remember it, unless it’s moved.” Doggy-paddling, Alice could feel the water tugging at her legs. She’d wondered if they’d hit a rip current, and it felt as though they had. There really had been a sandbar out this far from Kennewick Beach, but that had changed after the storm-filled winter the year after they graduated.
“I shouldn’t have come out this far,” Gina said, her chin submerged in the water, the words sputtering.
“No worries. We’ll rest a bit, then turn back.”
“Okay.”
Alice, staying afloat just by scissoring her legs, said, “I am having sex with him, you know. With that fucking creep.” The moon was back behind a cloud, and it was dark again.
Gina took a breath, then said, “I don’t care,” the words sounding like exhalations.