“I won’t tell them anything. I wouldn’t have, anyway. It’s none of their business.”
Alice drove Jake’s car across town, listening to the tape he’d left in the deck. It was Genesis, Phil Collins singing the word Mama over and over again. She got tired of it, and sped ahead to “That’s All.” After she pulled into the Bergerons’ driveway, she listened to the rest of the song, the sky a deep, dusky blue over the Bergerons’ house, its first floor brick and its second story painted yellow, the windows with black shutters. The front yard was brown from the summer drought, and with a scattering of orange pine needles. As the song finished, Alice wondered if tonight was the beginning of the story of Gina’s fall from grace. What had Gina’s mother said, that she was “exhausted”? Alice shut the car off.
Gina didn’t seem exhausted during dinner. If anything, she seemed a little hyper, constantly interrupting anything anyone else was saying to get her own word in, pushing her food around the plate, cutting her sloppy joe into bite-sized pieces with her fork and knife, something the rest of the family made fun of her for.
“You want chopsticks for that, G?” her father asked. “She eats sushi now,” he said to Alice.
“Everyone eats sushi, Dad,” Gina said.
“Not in Maine. We cook our fish up here.”
“High five,” Gina’s youngest sister said and slapped Mr. Bergeron’s palm.
Alice kept mostly silent during the meal, except when she was asked direct questions, either about her job at the drugstore or the courses she was taking at MCC. No one asked her about Jake, and what he was up to, at least not at the dinner table. She felt strange during dinner, not uncomfortable exactly, but like an alien that had been dropped into a typical American family, full of inside jokes and overlapping conversation. It was different, so much louder, than what she was used to with Jake, just the two of them, everything perfect and civilized. A small part of her was jealous, only because there was something relaxing about not always being the center of attention, not always having eyes on you, but then Alice looked at Gina, the way her eyes were darting between members of her family, her fingers tugging on one of her earlobes till it had turned an angry red, and she thought: No, family life is messy, and unpredictable. Who would want that?
After dinner, when the two youngest girls were tasked with clearing the table, Alice caught Gina giving her mother a quick glance, then saying, awkwardly, “New rule: the grown women get the night off cleaning.”
“New rule?” Mr. Bergeron said.
Gina was standing. “Come on, Alice, let’s go outside a minute.”
“Gotta get her fix,” said Gina’s younger sister, pantomiming taking a puff of a cigarette.
“I’ll come, too,” said Mrs. Bergeron, as Alice rose from the table, suddenly nervous.
It was balmy outside for September, the dark sky filled with stars. Gina did light up a cigarette before the back screen door slammed shut, then took a seat on one of the patio chairs. She offered the pack to Alice, who turned it down.
“Smart girl,” said Mrs. Bergeron, leaning against the outdoor table.
Alice sat next to Gina on the very edge of a chair. She said how much she’d enjoyed dinner, then immediately asked about Gina’s oldest brother, Howie, who hadn’t been there that night. She just wanted to keep asking questions to avoid the discussion that she felt was coming. Mrs. Bergeron said that Howie was doing the backpack thing in Europe, and she wondered if he’d ever return. While she spoke, Alice felt Gina’s eyes on her. She turned toward her just as she was snuffing the butt of her cigarette out against the bottom of her sandal.
“You should—” Alice began, but Gina interrupted her.
“Alice, I want to talk about Jake.”
“So do I,” said Mrs. Bergeron.
“Okay,” said Alice. She could feel the blood rushing into her face, her skin heating up.
“We both think it’s really strange that you’re still living with him,” Gina said, removing another cigarette from her pack of Parliaments. “I know that he’s your stepdad, but it’s not like he was with your mom for a really long time. You’ve lived with him longer than he lived with your mother.”
“Where else am I supposed to go?” Alice said, anger causing her chest to tighten, and her words to come out sounding slightly pinched. “I don’t have a family. He pays for my classes, Gina.”
“We’re not judging you, honey,” Mrs. Bergeron said. “We’re worried that Jake is taking advantage of you, and if he is, we want you to know that you have options.”
“What do you mean?”
Gina said, “You remember Maddy, right? She said she saw you at a restaurant in Portland with Jake and that you were acting like a couple.”
“What does she mean we were acting like a couple?”
“That doesn’t matter,” Mrs. Bergeron said. “What we want to know is that you are comfortable with whatever situation you’re in. That’s all. If you tell us that you and Jake are happy together, I mean, who are we—”
“I don’t care if you are happy together,” Gina said, shouting a little. “It’s gross, Alice. You’re a young, beautiful girl, and you let that fucking creep have his way with you.”
“Gina . . .” said Mrs. Bergeron.
Alice stood up. She felt tears pricking at her eyes, and really didn’t want to cry. She quickly scanned the fenced backyard, like a cat looking for an exit, then began to walk toward the latched door that led onto the driveway. Gina ran after her.
“Sorry, Alice, come back. We just want to talk with you.”
Alice kept walking, not trusting her voice. When she reached the door, Gina grabbed her shoulder. Alice, without thinking, spun and grabbed Gina’s hand, pulling it to her mouth and biting down at the base of Gina’s thumb. Gina screamed and yanked her hand back. For a moment, they both stood there, Gina grasping her hand, and Alice frozen, shocked that she’d actually bitten Gina. Mrs. Bergeron had jumped up after hearing Gina scream, and was coming toward them, saying, “What is it? What happened?” Alice pushed through the door and ran to the car. She could taste Gina’s blood in her mouth.
When she got back home, Jake was still up, glassy-eyed, watching television, a snifter with brandy on one of his knees. “How was it?” he asked.
“Fine,” Alice said.
“What did they serve?”
“Sloppy joes,” she said, and Jake smiled. “It was kind of a scene, honestly, everyone talking over everyone else. I missed being here.”
“Well, you’re here now,” Jake said, adjusting the chair so that he could get out of it comfortably, almost spilling his drink. “Let’s get into bed.”
Alice went up the stairs, feeling good about controlling her feelings in front of Jake. During the drive back in the car, she told herself that she’d barely even bitten Gina, that her teeth had only just broken the skin, and that it had been Gina’s fault anyway. Gina was the one who’d grabbed her violently, and she had just been trying to get away. It was nothing. And then she told herself that the conversation in the backyard hadn’t actually happened, and that the night was merely annoying. If she believed that, it kept the anger she felt toward Gina from rising up in her and making her want to scream. She brushed her teeth, then changed into pajama bottoms and a threadbare T-shirt.