I cut him off with a kiss. His body settled on mine and immediately the feel of us naked, his erection against my melting heat, was too much. “Fuck,” he groaned, and at the same time I arched my hips up toward him, the tip of him slid into me. I couldn’t breathe or swallow for the pounding want.
His shoulders trembled under my hands. My mouth fastened on his to stop any words or resistance he was thinking of offering. I rocked and moved under him, urging him.
He gave in and thrust into me.
Pain exploded through my body, wrenching a garbled scream from my throat. Shit. My immediate thought was I’d given myself away. I grabbed his head and shoulders, his face in my neck. I held tight as he tried to lift his head. “So good,” I lied through gritted teeth into his ear, the sound of my words a hiss.
“Jazz,” he moaned desperately. “We shouldn’t have—”
I moved my hips toward him. My face scrunched tight. This was, hands down, the most fucking uncomfortable thing I had ever, ever, done. I wanted to stamp my foot on the bed and bite down hard on something. I rocked under him, panicked he’d realize what I was trying so desperately to hide. He pulled out slowly dragging my insides with a shaft of nails. Maybe I wasn’t wet enough all the way inside? God knew, I was sure I no longer had a hymen. I mean I was pretty active. Didn’t they break all the time? The myth that virgins were ‘intact’ was just that. A myth.
Mother fucking shit, sex was awful.
Don’t get me wrong, the opening act was spectacular. All that kissing, that need, that building desire. But the main event? The main event was a damn nightmare.
Joey pushed back into me.
I gave up holding back and cried out, my teeth closing over his shoulder.
Oh my God. How long would it last? This was diabolical. Wait. Okay, it was easing up. Okay this could be okay I guess. I mean it wasn’t that bad after the initial insertion. When I said not bad, I meant it didn’t feel that good either. It just kind of felt … wet.
Maybe the earlier pain had flooded my body with pain killing chemicals and I was numb. Or the vodka was really doing its thing.
Focus, Jazz.
This was Joey. I ran my hands over his muscled shoulders and into his gorgeous hair. It was Joey. My heart fluttered, and my body arched into him. His lips found mine, and his tongue. God his tongue. Yes, okay. Okay, shit yes. This was good. This was amazing. We were so connected.
The aching need inside me pulsed back to life. And this time the need was being met.
Joey’s shoulders bunched, his hips thrust, his breathing rasped. His kisses were punishing and sexy as all hell.
And, this felt really good. Actually, after a bumpy start, it was starting to be amazing.
He opened his eyes and our gazes caught. I’d never noticed, but he had a small brown dot in those blue oceans. I moaned, rocking up to him, meeting his thrust. His body responded to mine, and his pace picked up. “Jazz,” he breathed the word against my mouth.
“Oh holy shit!” I yelled. We had no protection. The realization slammed into me.
Joey stilled, shuddered, and jerked away from my body. Breathing hard, his eyes squeezed tight and looking like the sexiest man on the face of planet earth, he erupted all over my stomach.
“Oh my God.” The words were wrung from deep in his chest. He covered his eyes with his palm and collapsed next to me. “What the fuck did we just do?”
“What every girl wants to hear,” I said sarcastically. “That was the perfect thing to say right after. And you don’t last very long, do you?”
“Sorry, I just … Oh my God, we—”
“Had unprotected sex.”
He pulled his hand from his face. “Please tell me you’re on the pill?”
I swallowed and shook my head, pain and dread flowing into my body like a tidal wave. Semen dripped off the side of my belly.
“Oh, Jesus.” Joey jammed the heels of his palms against his eyes.
“Pull it together, Joseph. You’re being a selfish prick right now.”
He blew out a breath and shook his head. “Sorry. Shit. Are you okay?”
“Fine. But I could really use a towel. There’s one in the galley.”
He turned over and scooted down the bed and backed into the galley. He pulled on his boxers, then grabbed the dish towel that hung on a small hook and tossed it to me. I wiped my belly, around my side and pulled my shirt closed, fumbling with the buttons. Then I wiped the vinyl mattress cover. This was awkward, messy, and utterly heartbreaking. I felt empty and used and like my “kissing buddy” had turned into a complete stranger.
He knew, I realized.
He’d obviously figured it out that I had lied to him about sleeping with Chase.
“Jazz,” Joey said quietly.
I squeezed my lips together and looked up.
He’d pulled on his shorts and t-shirt and looked like the last twenty minutes had never happened. Apart from the pained look in his dark blue eyes.
“Don’t you dare say it,” I started, my jaw tight.
“This was a mistake.”