“Look at the walls.” Marcus stood next to the archway and ran his fingers over what should’ve been rock. It wasn’t rock, though. It was something else entirely. “It’s … well … I think it’s papier maché. In fact, I think the entire mountain is made of papier maché.”
“Why would someone construct a mountain from papier maché?” Landon challenged. “That seems like the worst material for construction like this.”
“Soaps have limited budgets,” Thistle volunteered. “The sets are never expensive … or sometimes even believable. Practical sets, like hospitals and restaurants, look okay. Some of the others are less realistic.”
“But papier maché?” Landon shook his head. “Whatever. Let’s find this diamond we’re meant to claim and get the heck out of here. This place is creepy … and weird.” He narrowed his eyes as a woman with long red hair streamed past. She wore a lavender jumpsuit – something straight out of Star Trek – and the look she shot Marcus was nothing short of smoldering.
“Are you new?”
Marcus jolted at the question. “Um … we’re just checking out your setup to decide if we want to join the cause.”
“Just out of curiosity, what is the cause?” I asked.
The woman turned a serene expression in my direction. “We’re interested in pledging ourselves to the light and turning away from the darkness.”
“That’s a bit vague,” Thistle noted. “What do you think that means?”
“It’s probably a cult,” I supplied. “Aunt Tillie doesn’t know anything about real cults, so it’s likely she cherry-picked whatever she saw on television and created some weird approximation of what she thinks a cult should be.”
“That probably explains why there’s an entire roomful of people over there doing what looks to be synchronized yoga,” Clove said, pointing toward a large gymnasium. There had to be at least thirty people inside, all wearing matching jumpsuits – this time in blue. They were stretching and contorting their bodies as if driven by an unseen force.
“That’s creepy, huh?”
Landon rubbed his hand over my back. “It is a little creepy. I doubt they’re a dangerous cult, though.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, look at their outfits.” Landon flashed a charming grin that could still make me go weak in the knees at the appropriate moment. “Dangerous people don’t wear spandex.”
“Good point.” I slipped my hand in Landon’s and turned to survey the room. “One of the soaps had a story like this. I think it was One Life to Live.”
“That’s also the one that had the time travel, right?” Thistle asked. “I think I kind of remember that one.”
“Time travel?” Landon didn’t look as if he liked the sound of that. “Please tell me she’s not going to force us to go through that again. I’ve had my fill of time travel.”
“I think soaps offer her plenty of other ways to torture us,” I replied. “I don’t think we need to worry about time travel. Demonic possession and super villains are another story, though.”
“Oh, I’m waiting for one of our stories to change so one of us is actually dating a brother or something,” Thistle said. “That’s a soap staple.”
“Except we’re not really related, so it won’t be a big deal,” Sam pointed out.
“No, but even hearing it suggested will be enough to kill the romance.”
Landon shot me a pointed look. “If she even tries that I will lock her in her room for the rest of her life.”
“She’s going to outlive us all,” Thistle muttered. “Plus, if you try, she’ll do something worse than this.”
“I’m not convinced there is anything worse than this,” Landon argued. “Still, we’re in an underground city that’s supposed to be hidden, yet it has a billboard right next to it. I think we need to find our diamond and get out of here.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think it’s going to be okay,” I said. “If I remember correctly, this story ended well when I watched it with Aunt Tillie.”
“Oh, yeah?” Landon cocked an eyebrow. “Did they ever explain how a city existed under a mountain and no one noticed it?”
“It’s a soap. After a while you ignore the bigger-picture questions and just go with the flow.”
“I’m not sure I can, but I’ll give it a shot. In fact … .” Landon trailed off, shifting his eyes toward the center of the room.
I followed his gaze, my eyes widening when I recognized the familiar profile. “Is that … ?”
“Dad?” Thistle made an odd face when she saw the man in question. In turn, the man who looked like Uncle Teddy flicked his eyes to us but didn’t immediately speak. There was no recognition there, which made me realize we were dealing with an imaginary soap opera character that just happened to look like Thistle’s father rather than the real deal. “What are you doing here?”
“Do I know you?” Teddy asked, his eyes busy. “Are you new to our brave new world?”
“Oh, geez.” Thistle pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why doesn’t it surprise me that Aunt Tillie made my dad a cult member?”
“Why does anything that woman does surprise you?” Landon challenged. “She’s off her broom. I’ve known that since the moment I met her.”
“And yet you still got shot for her,” I reminded him. “Maybe you’re just as crazy as she is.”
“Why do you think we get along so well?” Landon teased, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“Oh, don’t get all schmaltzy. We have no time for schmaltzy.” Thistle warned, turning back to her father. “What’s your name?”
“Flynn Warfield.”
Thistle shook her head. “What do you do here, Flynn?”
“I’m second in command.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I issue orders when our leader isn’t available.”
“That seems a little too on the nose,” Landon said. “Still, he looks like Teddy for a reason. We might as well see if he can help us.”
“I guess.” Thistle tried again. “So … um, Flynn … do you know where we can find a diamond that’s big enough to fuel a device that will freeze the world?” Thistle barely got out the question before she snorted. “There’s something I never thought I’d hear myself say.”
“We’ve all been there,” Landon muttered.
“You’re looking for a diamond?” The look on Teddy’s face was hard to read.
“We are,” Thistle confirmed. “We need it.”
“I see.” Teddy linked his fingers in front of him. “Why do you think we have diamonds here?”
“Because it says so on your sign.”
“I don’t believe that’s true.”
“Well, it is.” Thistle’s agitation was beginning to show. “I don’t have time to mess around with you, Dad. I mean … Flynn. Flynn is a stupid name, by the way. All I can hear playing through my head is ‘in like Flynn,’ and it makes me want to punch somebody.”
“I recommend punching him,” Clove suggested, pointing at Teddy.
“I’m not ruling it out.”
Teddy watched with dispassionate eyes. “I don’t believe we have what you need here. You’ll have to look elsewhere.”
“Well, we’re not looking elsewhere,” Thistle said. “We need a diamond. You’re advertising them on your sign. That means you’re going to give us a diamond.”
Teddy’s expression turned territorial. “And what makes you believe that?”
“Let’s just call it a hunch.”
“I can’t help you.” Teddy was firm. “The only diamond we have that size fuels our oxygenator. We’ll die without it.”
“Or you could just move to the surface and stop living like mole people,” Landon suggested.
Teddy ignored the suggestion. “I can’t help you.”
“You have to help us,” Thistle pressed. “We need that diamond, and … you’re not even real!”
Teddy balked. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Forget it.” Thistle waved off the question. “We need that diamond. Don’t make us search for it.”
“You can’t have free rein over this facility,” Teddy argued. “I won’t allow it. In fact … .” He snapped his head toward the gymnasium, where every occupant was now staring in our direction like a scene from the Stepford Wives. It was altogether eerie that they’d simply stopped doing their yoga poses and were now focused on us. “We will work together to thwart you.”