Yes! Because Daddy needs to be okay right now.
I’m glad you’re protecting him, but isn’t that hard for you?
Not really.
Not really. Wow. Hoped she wasn’t lying. Well, Daddy would agree that if it is hurting you, even a little, to protect him, that you should stop. Okay?
Okay, Mommy.
Promise me, Jamie-Kat. Mommy and Daddy want you protecting yourself, Charlie, and Fairy Godfather ACE more than us, and if it’s a choice between you or us, you pick you. Promise me.
I promise, Mommy. She sounded angry.
I don’t want to upset you, or for you to think we don’t love and appreciate you, baby. It’s just that we love you and your brother so much, you two getting hurt is the worst thing in the world to me and Daddy.
I know, Mommy. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the things. The things say it’s cheating for any of us to help you, but the things are cheating, too, and I’m not going to let them. Because cheating like this is wrong. Now it sounded like she was talking to or at someone else in addition to or instead of me. You need to flip the switch, Mommy.
Um, that’s what Fairy Godfather ACE wants to tell me? To flip the switch?
And that anything or anyone can be put back to how they were. If you have the right tool with you.
Could tell she was trying to give me clues in the way that ACE and Algar did—obscurely. Had to say this—she had it down. Though, had a feeling the obscurity was more on my side than hers—I was clearly missing the obvious.
The life you save doesn’t have to be yours. The change you make doesn’t have to be to your plan, Mommy. Well, not to most of it.
Um, okay, sweetheart. Mommy will think hard about all of this.
Okay, Mommy. Fairy Godfather ACE says you always think right. Love to Uncle Chuckie. And then the presence in my mind was gone.
She hadn’t sent love to her father, or me. Only to Chuckie. Looked at him. Why only Chuckie? It was a clue, the biggest one, apparently, because it was making me think. Why would Jamie tell me to give her love to Chuckie in this situation?
Got nothing. Other than the feelings of failure and letting my daughter down.
Heaved a sigh and turned to look at the Aicirtap fleet. There were a lot of ships out there. Presumably all packed to the gills with beings that wanted to eat us all.
The music switched again. To Puddle of Mudd’s “Change My Mind.”
Started to laugh. “Oh, my great gods and protectors, I will give myself the most major of duhs on this one. But, don’t worry, baby—my brain has finally chosen to join the party.”
CHAPTER 96
“WHAT IS IT?” Jeff asked worriedly. “What are you talking about? You seemed out of it for a couple of minutes.”
“I was, but I’m back.” Considered next moves. Decided it was time to do what I did best—go with the crazy. Focused on the lead Aicirtap ship. “Wait for my next order.” Touched my Beaming Bling and the helicarrier wasn’t there anymore.
Instead I was at the command center of the ship I’d focused on. Didn’t stop to stare at the Aicirtap all around me, who were all reacting to my sudden appearance by flapping their gigantic mandibles and pincers and such. Flipped the switch on my gun from Dust to Devolve. And fired at the first Bug Person I saw.
The guns were sporting self-contained nukes, thanks to the A-Cs, who had these lying around the Science Center like party favors. Meaning the shot was powerful and faster than the Killer Octopus had been.
Didn’t stop to see what was going to happen, just spun and shot every Bug Person near me as fast as I could. The weapons had been created to fire as fast as an A-C could work the trigger, meaning fast. And adrenaline had done me a solid and shown up when I needed it—I was revved up as if I was at the height of my rage. But I wasn’t angry. I was inspired.
Did a full revolution, hitting at least twenty Aicirtap. Then took a fast look around. The ship was set up for beings with multiple limbs and had a very insectoid feeling, which wasn’t totally a shock. Had no idea if the flyboys could work the controls I saw, but doubted that I could.
My music changed to “Built for Speed” by the Stray Cats. It was nice to be back in sync with Algar.
Would have spent more time in perusal and/or rocking out, but all the hints and what I’d hoped for was paying off—the Aicirtap I’d hit were shuddering and appeared to be smaller. Not a lot yet, but perhaps undoing someone else’s evil work took time.
Time to zap again, since the rest of the Aicirtap I could see were converging on me. My adrenaline was at an all-time high, and it was like everything was in slow motion. Zapped, ducked, zapped, dodged, zapped, zapped, leaped, zapped, rolled, and on and on. Managed a very impressive run up the side of a wall then backwards somersaulting flip, while zapping every bug in sight. I was like a live-action ad for Raid.
Landed in an impressive catlike stance because no one I wanted to impress was around to see it. As near as I could tell, I’d zapped every Aicirtap if not on the ship, then at least that had come into the command deck area, or wherever I was.
The first one I’d hit stopped shuddering. It had been as Muddy had described—about three times bigger than Kyle. Now it was just Kyle-sized, so still a hell of a lot bigger than me.
It made noises for a while, then suddenly I could understand it. “Sorry, you’ll need to repeat yourself, missed anything you said prior.”
“What . . . what did you do?” it asked me. Couldn’t tell if it was a male or female.
“I think I just turned you back into what you used to be. Hopefully still as smart as you used to be, but if not, apologies in advance.”
It looked around as “Victim Of Circumstance” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts came on. “Why are we in warships?”
“Oh dear. Um, this is probably going to sound like so much lying, but the uplift the Z’porrah gave you made you three times bigger and turned you into murderous monsters. You’ve torn up a great deal of this side of the galaxy.”
“That . . . that is impossible. We are a peaceful race! Our ships are defensive, only.”
As it said this, more Unzapped Aicirtap arrived. The Zapped Aicirtap all screamed. Yeah, that was the galaxy’s reaction, too. “Sorry, gotta save you from yourselves.” Zapped the newcomers using rapid fire. Got them all. Blew on the end of my gun. “I think I’m enjoying cleaning up this town. You were saying?”
“Why did you do that?”
“Um, to save you from your crewmates or relatives or whatever.”
“No, I meant blowing on your gun.”
“Oh, that. It’s a human thing from the part of Earth where I was born.”
“Earth! What is an Earthling doing out here?”
“Um, not sure you’ve been following me, but you are in my solar system.”
“No,” the Zapped Spokes-Aicirtap said. “That cannot be.” It ran to look out. “What have we done?”
“Lots of horrible things. You need to do a headcount, right now. I need to know if I’ve hit all your crew or if there are more of you here.”