“That’s not it,” Mulder tried to tell her, but she ignored him.He paused at the door and looked at her. “You’re not the person I’m trying to distract.”
“Fox—”
The phone rang inside the apartment, and Mulder fumbled with his house keys.
“Who’s calling so late? Your dad?”
“He almost never calls.” When Mulder finally got the door open, he jogged to the kitchen and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Fox?” his mom cried out, the way she used to when he wandered away from her in the grocery store.
“Mom? Are you okay?” His insides knotted.
She burst into tears. “Where have you been? It’s the middle of the night.”
“I was at my friend Gimble’s house.” He didn’t remind her that he was almost eighteen.
“I thought…” She sniffed, and his chest tightened. “I thought I’d lost you, too.”
He swallowed the fist-sized knot in his throat. “I’m fine, Mom. You’re not going to lose me. Phoebe’s in town, remember? I was introducing her to my friend, that’s all.”
His mom blew her nose on the other end of the line. “I’m acting ridiculous. It’s not even that late for you. I tried to call your father, but he was ‘unavailable.’”
Mulder leaned his arm against the wall and pressed his forehead into the crook of his elbow. “Dad is always unavailable. You know that.”
Phoebe touched his arm, a silent show of support.
“You’re right.” His mom sounded like herself again. “I just need some sleep.”
“I’m sorry that I worried you, Mom.” The guilt he fought so hard to keep at bay threatened to crush him.
“Good night, honey. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Night.” Mulder waited for her to hang up, keeping the phone against his ear until the line went dead.
Phoebe took the receiver out of his hand and returned it to the cradle.
Mulder’s heartbeat thumped in his ears, and a familiar burning sensation spread through his chest. Samantha had been missing for almost five and a half years, and his mom still felt the effects of that loss every day. She never admitted it outright, but she didn’t have to, because he felt the same way.
Phoebe wheeled him around and took his face in her hands. “Your mom is fine. Don’t torture yourself.”
“I’m not.” He tried to turn away, but she kept her palms firmly planted on his cheeks.
“And don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not trying to torture myself, but I can’t stop thinking about what happened.” He fought to keep his voice steady. They both knew he was talking about the night his sister vanished.
“When was the last time you slept?”
He shrugged.
Phoebe closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, and Mulder finally got out of his own head long enough to look at her. She was beautiful. Her long lashes brushed her cheeks, and her full bottom lip made it look like she was perpetually pouting—or trying to seduce him. Not that it would take much effort on her part. He had a dozen issues of Playboy magazine stashed under his bed, and if he had a choice between any of the women on those pages and Phoebe, he would choose the girl standing in front of him.
Phoebe’s eyelids fluttered as her eyes began to open. Mulder’s whole body was on fire now, and his heart ached so damned bad. Her lips always took the pain away, even if the aftermath of their kisses caused him a different kind of pain.
He stopped thinking and pressed his lips against hers. Her lips parted, and she sighed softly.
Mulder slid his hands down her sides and cupped her ass.
“Fox?” she murmured.
Hearing her say his name in that breathless voice drove him half crazy. They stumbled to his room, Mulder walking her backward down the hallway, his mouth never leaving hers. His elbow hit the doorjamb on their way in, but the sting only made everything inside him burn hotter.
As he eased her onto the bed, she put her hand against his chest, holding him back. “I know why you’re doing this.”
Mulder stared into her big blue eyes. “No, you don’t.”
Because I’m too scared to tell you how I feel.
She was still out of breath, and her chest rose and fell faster than normal. “Kissing me won’t make you forget.”
“I don’t want to forget. I want to find the psycho who took my sister.”
“But the person who’s taking these kids might not be that person.” She searched his face. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Not until I find him.”
“Fox—”
“If there’s even the slightest chance the same thing happened to Samantha, I have to know,” he said.
Phoebe gave him the same sad look he remembered from the day he moved. “Promise me you won’t get obsessed with this. That you’ll be careful.”
Mulder moved closer. “I promise,” he said with his mouth against hers. Then he kissed her until their lips were swollen and they were both exhausted.
Phoebe nuzzled his neck and he tightened his arm around her waist, listening to her breath against his ear. Holding her made him feel normal, as if he were just another guy who loved playing basketball and hanging out with his friends. A guy who was still trying to figure out the big stuff—like where he should go to college in the fall and how to ask the girl he’d kissed five minutes ago out on a real date.