I was ready to see Brady. I’d missed him this week, but the absence had just been a taste of what was to come. He talked as if we would stay together when he left. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I couldn’t do that. It would hurt too much. Being with him made me happy. However, lately I stayed sad thinking of the future.
I didn’t want to live sad. Breaking it off and moving on was the only way I would be able to heal and find happiness. Telling Brady that, however, seemed more difficult with each passing day. He’d texted me about the campus and how awesome it was. He called me every night to talk about next year and the things he couldn’t wait to show me.
In his head we would work long-distance. I would come visit when I could and our phone calls would be enough. Maybe his heart didn’t ache being apart from me. With all the excitement of the new college and the legendary football team he was going to be a part of, I tried to understand him.
It didn’t make my heart hurt less.
When I thought about life without him I would take Bryony on a walk and enjoy her. It reminded me I was a mom and I had a beautiful daughter. Feeling sorry for myself was stupid and shallow.
I glanced down at Bryony as we strolled out of the park, and her eyelids were already growing heavy. She’d played hard today. There had been several kids out enjoying the sunshine. The more she had to play with, the better, as far as she was concerned.
“Riley.” A familiar voice said my name. The timbre and who it belonged to registered in my head, but with it came panic. Something I hadn’t felt in a while. Something I never wanted to feel again.
I inhaled sharply and reminded myself that I was strong. I wasn’t defenseless anymore. I’d known this day would come eventually. But that didn’t prepare me for it actually happening.
Lifting my gaze, I met the steel-blue eyes that were shaped so much like my daughter’s. The way his eyebrows arched and even the form of his nose looked like hers. Breathing was becoming difficult.
“Is this her?” he asked.
What did her mean exactly? Was this the daughter he’d given me unintentionally? The child he claimed wasn’t his?
“This is my daughter,” I stated with firm authority. There would be no question as to who she belonged to. She was mine.
“Gunner told me she looked like me,” Rhett Lawton said as he stared down at Bryony, who had thankfully fallen asleep. I didn’t want her to see him or remember him.
I liked Gunner, but at that moment I was not liking him very much. I trusted him and allowed him around Bryony. However, Rhett was out of the question. He was evil, and I wanted no evil touching my daughter. She was nothing like him. Her heart was pure.
“When was she born?” he asked, still studying her sleeping form.
“Why?” I spat back. I wanted him to leave me alone. Leave us alone. Lawton had become a welcoming safe place for us. With Rhett here that changed. He wasn’t safe.
“She’s mine, Riley. We both know it. I always knew it.”
Anger boiled in my veins, and I wanted to grab the nearest rock and hurl it at his head. She wasn’t his. “She is mine,” I repeated. “Mine.”
He sighed and for a second he resembled Gunner. Someone who I trusted. Rhett wasn’t to be trusted.
“I fucked up. I’ve fucked up a lot. But I was young and scared out of my mind.”
I laughed then. It sounded a bit crazy. Like the laugh you hear from insane people. But his words were insane, so my manic laughter fit the situation.
“You were young? Scared?” I repeated the words like they tasted sour on my tongue. “Really? Well, boo-fucking-hoo. I was fifteen and pregnant from a rape that the father claimed didn’t happen. I was a virgin, Rhett, or were you so drunk you didn’t notice? You took my innocence, left me pregnant, then turned the entire town against me. My family had to leave here because of you. You almost destroyed me.” I paused. “But you didn’t. She saved me.”
He didn’t seem remorseful, just guilty. Like he knew what he had done was wrong, but he wasn’t going to be able to change it, so he wouldn’t focus on it too much. “You came back; they accept you now. My reputation isn’t that great here. In the end, you won.”
I was ready to hurl more angry words at him until that last sentence.
I won.
In the end, I had won.
I had a beautiful daughter I couldn’t live without. My family never left my side. I had friends who cared about me and were a part of my life and Bryony’s. And for now I had Brady.
Rhett had nothing.
“They say karma is a bitch” was my response to that. Maybe it was cold, knowing that his world had also exploded this past year. But I wasn’t ready to accept him. I doubted I ever would be. But I could forgive him.
“I don’t want you in my life and especially not in Bryony’s. The story of her conception isn’t anything she ever has to know. But for what it is worth, I forgive you. I will never forget, but I will forgive. Because in the end I was given Bryony.”
He didn’t respond at first, but he finally nodded. “I just wanted to see her, Riley. I wasn’t trying to be a part of her life. I don’t want to be a father. I have no example and I would suck at it. But I did want to see her and know what happened . . . what I did . . . all ended okay.”
I could tell him that what he’d done had almost ruined me. I had lived in so much pain and anger that I had to see counseling. But none of that mattered now. It was a part of my story. It was a part of me.
“It did,” I replied.
He looked back down at Bryony one last time. “I hope she has a good life.”
“She will have the best life I can give her.”
He nodded, then turned and walked away.
It was as if a chapter had closed in my life. The spring breeze brushed my hair across my face, similar to that of a page turning. I exhaled, then took a step forward, ready for the next chapter life had for us.
What the Hell Would I Do without Her?
CHAPTER 54
BRADY
Riley had seemed different all evening. It had been hard to concentrate on the questions my mother asked and listen to the things I had missed here with Riley being quieter than usual and almost standoffish.
Something was wrong, and I was ready to get her alone and figure out what it was. Maggie had left to go to West’s house to watch a movie, and Mom was playing with Bryony in the living room. She had bought Bryony several toys for our house. The blocks seemed to be her favorite. I could hear Mom suggesting they build a castle.
“Come with me,” I told Riley, taking her hand and leading her out to the backyard so Mom wouldn’t get all weird about us staying too long up in my room.
She went with me easily and without question. Once I had her outside and away from the house, I turned to look at her. “What’s wrong?”
I had missed her something fierce this week. Being at Alabama was fun and exciting, but I wanted her there beside me. I wasn’t going to be able to stay away from her . . . and Bryony. I missed her too. I realized, being gone, that they had become part of my family. The most important part.