Could I wonder that a prince raised to power and privilege with only selfish ambition as his model had become arrogant and entitled? The real wonder was that any good instincts remained. I couldn’t imagine that King Nicolas had ever risked his own life to save another.
Some of the attitude of the servants made more sense now. Did they retain hope that their prince would grow to be more like his mother than his father? With Princess Adelaide gone, what other hope could they have?
When I returned to the Beast’s chambers that afternoon, I still hadn’t decided if I should mention my new knowledge to him. How would he respond if I asked him about it?
I had no idea what to expect on my arrival. I felt a pang of guilt that the servants might have left him alone as I had recommended. What if he had worked himself into such a rage that he set back his recovery? But I shook my head, rejecting the thought. Whatever his past, he was a grown adult who must take some responsibility for his own health.
I was listening extra hard as I approached, but I could hear no sounds at all. No one spoke to me in the corridor, and I wondered if that meant Henshaw was now stationed inside the room. Walking slowly in, I saw to my surprise that the Beast was in a light doze, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling with his soft breaths. I stopped part way into the room, unsure if I should leave, and he opened his eyes.
For a long silent moment, we stared at each other. Could he read the conflicted emotions in mine? Was my new knowledge written across my face? I felt myself flush at the intensity of his gaze. I had never been looked at so intently in my life.
You came back.
I drew a deep breath, breaking the uncomfortable bond between us. “Of course.”
He frowned, and I felt a pang somewhere in the vicinity of my heart that he had been thinking I had truly left.
No one has ever said such things to me before. I opened my mouth to reply, but he held up his hand to silence me. No one has ever dared. And I have never apologized in my life. ‘A prince of Palinar doesn’t apologize to anyone.’ His words were slow, obviously causing him pain to say. But I have been thinking while you were gone. Perhaps…perhaps I have been wrong.
I waited for more, but he seemed to be finished. I wanted to roll my eyes. That was it? He didn’t intend to actually apologize? But I reminded myself of what I had just learned about his family. This was progress for him.
“We are all of us wrong sometimes,” I said gently. Hadn’t I just discovered I had been wrong about his role in the curse?
Sitting beside him, I picked up the book which still rested where I had dropped it earlier. I began to read. “Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom…”
The doctor insisted that the Beast remain in bed for another week. I suspected that he would have liked it to be longer, but he must have recognized that such a span was already a small miracle. My voice was hoarse from the hours I had spent reading aloud, and my mind strained from trying to think of ways to pacify a man who usually spent his days on horseback.
I tried to keep him talking about the systems of governance in Palinar, and I surprised myself at my interest in the differences between his kingdom and my own Arcadia. He often seemed impatient with me, but I kept reminding him that I had not been raised to rule Arcadia as he had Palinar. And if there were gaps in my education, I couldn’t blame my family. I had been the one sneaking fairy tales into my lessons to read instead.
At Dominic’s insistence, I visited Chestnut and his stallion, who turned out to be called Spitfire. His love for his horse seemed like the least beastly thing about him and, as I entered the stable, thoughts of him filled my mind. Perhaps I could gain some insight into him here.
I took the animals handfuls of treats, pleased when Matthew emerged not long after I arrived and settled in for a long conversation.
I hear you’ve got things well in hand up there in the big house, he said at one point, a hint of humor behind his placid words.
“I’m doing my best.” I sighed. “But it isn’t easy.”
No, he said. The young master has never been what I would call easy.
“It must have been difficult for him,” I said, as I brushed Chestnut’s mane, “with a father like that.”
Matthew remained silent for a long time, and I held my breath, hoping I hadn’t silenced him.
I used to be a senior groom in the capital stables, he said at last. I was tasked with teaching the young prince to ride. When he first started spending time out here at his own castle, he brought me with him and installed me as the stable master.
He was silent for another moment, and I kept quiet, as well.
When the prince is with the horses, I see a true ruler in him. Firm but gentle, authoritative but loving. I have been waiting many years to see him learn to view other people in such a manner. But perhaps such a day will never come. Still…we cannot live without hope.
“No,” I murmured. “We all of us need hope.”
I put down the brush with a sigh. “I should be returning. The prince will be anxious to hear news of Spitfire.”
One day you must return and tell me how he looked in action. He is one of the most magnificent stallions I have ever had the care of.
I agreed, hiding a smile. I hadn’t expected to hear the calm old stable master sound so much like Gordon. Apparently, the boy never quite disappeared, no matter how many years passed.
But as I left the stables, my smile dropped away. The smell of horses reminded me so forcefully of Lily, it felt like an actual pain in my chest. We had spent so many hours with our ponies and then our horses over the years. I couldn’t even see one without thinking of her. And my new-found independence didn’t change how much I missed her, both in person and in my head. She would have kept me laughing throughout the trying hours of the Beast’s recuperation.
On the first day that Henshaw permitted him to leave his bed, the prince insisted that he visit the gardens. Henshaw hemmed and hawed but eventually agreed. I could tell he would have preferred the prince restrict himself to his sitting room, but I could understand his desire for fresh air. I felt it myself.
When I went to leave the room so that Henshaw could get him up and help him dress, the prince held out a hand to stop me. I looked at him inquiringly, noticing that he looked a little pained.
Would you…would you like to come to the gardens with me?
“Is that a request, Beast, rather than an order? I’m shocked.”
I can rephrase it if you’d prefer. He glared at me, and I laughed.
“No, indeed. It suits you better than I would have supposed.”
He growled deep in his throat as I chuckled my way out of the room, but I decided to overlook it. I couldn’t expect miracles, after all.