“I’ve been in every night. Albert’s been busy. I promise you it’s not Dad’s fault this time.”
Hearing her acknowledge it, even though it was reassuring news, made my throat close with grief. “I’m coming anyway,” I said.
“Yoona, by the time you get here, they might have let her go home.”
“Okay.” I sat back down, deflated. Maybe she was right. She hung up, and I held the receiver dumbly in my hands.
There was a clatter of knocks on the door. I opened the door to find Lloyd leaning against the frame on the other side. “I heard the phone. Everything all right?”
“No,” I replied and closed it. He knocked harder. I opened the door again. Lloyd was sitting on the floor, bracing his hand against the doorframe.
“Then it’s your mom, isn’t it? I’ll drive you. It’s four hours, right? We’ll be at your house by ten thirty.”
“Willa says to wait.”
“I’m still your friend. Let me help you.”
“Just go home, Lloyd. Go back to your parents. Go back to Queens.”
“You don’t mean it.”
“Go home. Please.”
“You’re upset. Please, don’t shut me out. You promised Jaesung you wouldn’t do that anymore.”
“How do you know that?”
“He told me. Who do you think talked to him after you wrecked his heart each time?” He looked up at me as if I were the most unreasonable person in the world. “I’ll be waiting in my car downstairs for you, and I’ll drive you to the hospital. It’s the least I can do for you. We’re in this together.”
He said more, and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t lash out at him again. It was all I could do to stand there with my hand gripping the doorknob. Heather must have had an early class, because her door opened, and she walked out and saw us. Lloyd saw her too, and her smile turned into concern. “No need to call the RA,” I said to her, loud enough for a person walking down the hall to turn his head in our direction.
“I’ll be waiting downstairs,” Lloyd said, standing up, his backpack in his hands. I closed the door when he had cleared the threshold. The bus station ticket office opened at seven, so I waited and then called for the next bus going in the direction of Lakeburg.
76
The phone rings. ANSWER IT, Lloyd barks, still looking out the window. The helicopter engines have grown more distant. A constant drone now.
I pick it up and hear Sax’s voice. “Sorry about that, someone tipped off the Scranton news crews. I’ve got Dick Thornburgh’s office willing to talk.”
“Hurry,” I say.
“Who’s this? Where’s Lloyd?”
Lloyd grabs the phone from me and shoves me toward the bed. I GAVE YOU THE GIRL, AND YOU CALL IN MORE POLICE? IS THAT HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME? I’VE GOT THREE MORE IN HERE, REMEMBER? IF YOU THINK YOU CAN— He drops the phone and grabs Heather, his arm around her neck, and shrieks, TELL HIM I’M NOT AFRAID TO ADD HEATHER TO THE LIST.
Heather sputters, pulling at his arm, which he jerks tight and releases, jerks again.
I pick up the phone and offer it to him. “You tell him. You’re the one he’s negotiating with. You’re the one who holds all the cards. Tell him to make the helicopters back off. Lloyd, for Jaesung. Diplomacy. Keep calm.” I nod and continue to hold out the phone.
He releases Heather and shoves her to the floor before grabbing the phone from me. I SWEAR I’M—
That’s when Heather, even with her hands still taped together, springs up and scrambles for the door. Faye backs away, and Lloyd launches toward Heather. I reach for him and find his leg, and then he kicks me, and I land on the floor and try to get to my feet, but my legs don’t cooperate. Did she make it? “What’s happening, what’s going on, Lloyd?” Sax’s tinny voice is the only one I hear, coming from the receiver on the floor beside me.
77
The Greyhound bus stopped at half a dozen places along the way. I took a taxi from the bus station to the hospital and walked into the lobby at two thirty in the afternoon. The receptionist looked up with a smile and asked me who I was visiting, and I couldn’t remember my mother’s name. The white-haired woman at the desk looked at me tenderly. “Are you all right, dear?” she said.
And a voice at my side said, “Soojin Lee,” and I saw that it was Lloyd. I didn’t have the strength to be angry at him. The bus ride had been long, and I’d waited another hour at the station for a taxi to take me to the hospital. I scowled at him and headed for the third floor, as the receptionist directed. He followed.
Willa and my father were sitting by the window in the waiting area, looking out. And I was struck by how devastated my father looked. I’d never seen him at a loss. Even after his episodes in the house, he’d take his seat in his La-Z-Boy chair in front of the television and act like nothing had happened. No apology. As if he were perfectly justified in what he’d done to my mother. But now in the hospital, he looked like a child, and his small stature added to that impression. He loomed large in my mind, but only because of his bellowing voice and his quick hands, which seemed to push and punch and be everywhere at once, attacking my mother. Now, as I neared, he and Willa stood up, and he held out his arm awkwardly, but I didn’t go any closer to him. Willa gave me a weak smile, so I knew she was relieved I had come. I saw her look beyond me to where Lloyd was standing near the entrance to the waiting area. I turned back to my sister and father. “Can I see her?”
“They made us leave because they had put her on a ventilator.” His voice was small.
“They’ll come back out and let us know when we can go back in,” Willa explained. “How’d you get here?”
I sat down at her words. I hoped I wasn’t too late. I looked over at Lloyd, who had taken a seat now as far from us as possible despite the empty chairs in between. “A friend from school,” I explained.
That seemed to be an acceptable answer. My father said he would go to thank him, but I told him it wasn’t necessary. He winced at my words, but I didn’t care. He had no right to pretend to be the gracious father now. Exasperated, I walked over to Lloyd. “Come meet my father.”
“You hate him,” he said.
Willa was talking earnestly with my dad, so I didn’t think they heard, but I saw others closer to us in the waiting room freeze. “What’s the matter with you?” I barked and stomped away from him to sit near my father and sister.
We waited for another half hour before the nurse said we could go in. “Two at a time,” she warned and looked at Lloyd, who had moved to a chair closer to us by now.
I was irritated by him. “He’s not family,” I told her.
My father said Willa and I should go in first. We didn’t disagree. “She’d want to see you two,” he said.
78