I trudged back to my room and went right under my covers. “That bad, huh?” Lloyd said from his huddled post on the floor under the window.
I don’t know why I called your house again. Maybe I was just grasping at straws because the news the nurse had given me felt like nothing was in my hands anymore. Lloyd was making less and less sense and scaring me. I had to know what your uncle and your parents knew to make them believe you were dead. I didn’t have any new evidence that you were alive. I just needed to hear it again from someone who loved you. So I could let you go. Your father answered the phone.
“You’re cruel, Lloyd,” I said to him after the call. I’d gathered all his things and stuffed them into his backpack, and I held it out to him. I didn’t want him in my room a minute longer. “It was cruel of you to do this to me.”
He was waving his hands, signaling for me to stop. “Yoona, wait, I’m not done. Give me a chance to tell you.”
“Tell me what? You said you had something different from the official story, so what is it?” I threw his backpack at his feet. “Get out.”
“If you give me a chance, I’ll tell you,” he said.
I walked to the door to my room and held it open for him. “Out.”
“Jaesung wanted to go to this meeting,” he began again. “Tongsu Cho, from the kitchen at the camp, remember? Tongsu and his brother. Do you know he had a brother? His brother looked just like him. Like they were identical twins. We talked to him about another meeting—Jaesung met him a bunch of times. I didn’t go to all of them, but that night, on the twenty-first, we left together in the same car. Other cars followed us out of Seoul. Four, five, as many as ten, maybe. I saw the lights of the city behind us, and we drove for a long time.”
“You said you were in different cars. Jaesung’s father said it was the same car. He said you were driving, and you feel guilty because you were behind the wheel and you had been drinking.”
“There was an accident. The car behind us, which didn’t have me or Jaesung in it—are you listening? That car was hit broadside, not mine and not Jaesung’s. His car was in the lead with two guys we met before, mine was in the middle, and the one behind us got struck at an intersection. It was remote, and it was weird because there weren’t other cars on the road, and out of nowhere a dump truck clips the car I’m in and slams the car behind us, and that car gets knocked off the road and turned on its side. We all stop. All three cars. I tried to get out, but I couldn’t budge the door. The men on the other side of me, two guys, get out of their side and shut the door, and when I go after them, the door is locked. And that’s when I knew something was really wrong. I’m locked in. My door isn’t jammed. I bang on the divider up to the front, but there’s silence. I figure he must have left the car too, and then I think, as the car on its side starts to smoke, that I’m going to die in this car.”
“If there’s a divider and you’re in the backseat, how do you know the first car stopped? And where was Jaesung?”
“You’re right. I don’t know. But then I heard sirens right away, firemen opened the car door and helped me out, and they told me my friend is dead. But when I look around, there’s no car up front, just mine and the one behind me on its side. And the body they take away on a stretcher that’s burned, with a cover thrown over it, that body isn’t Jaesung’s. I saw the arm hanging off, and it was a suit jacket arm, black. The smell was horrible.”
I felt empty. “Of course it was his. It could have been burned black.”
“I know it’s hard to believe. We were taken in the same car for a while, but then they separated us. It was their plan. They only needed one of us. That’s what must have happened.”
“You should go. I want you to leave.”
“It wasn’t him, Yoona,” Lloyd said. “The car was smoking, but there wasn’t a fire. Jaesung was wearing short sleeves like me, you remember that day? It was so hot. I saw it clearly. An ambulance came, and the paramedics forced me to go to the hospital even though I said I was fine, but it was weird. I’m telling you: it wasn’t Jaesung. When his parents came to the hospital to talk to me later—that’s the other thing, they wouldn’t let me leave right away—”
“You were injured. That’s not hard to understand.”
“But that’s the thing: I wasn’t. Nothing was wrong with me, but they gave me drugs to make me sleep, and I swear it was like they wanted to confuse me.”
“How would you know? You said the truck clipped you.”
“I’m telling you I was fine. Nothing was wrong with me, but they kept me for days in that hospital.”
“For your parents to come and to make sure you were all right.”
They’d kept him for two days in the hospital. I believed they were right; something was wrong with Lloyd. My hopes for you were fading. Tears pricked my eyes.
“You don’t believe me,” he said.
“You had a head injury. Jaesung’s dad said you had swelling in your brain.” It was hard to speak. I felt like I was being strangled.
He threw up his hands and shook his head. “That does not mean I didn’t see everything. I know what happened. How can you not believe me? I thought you, of all people, you would know I’m telling the truth.”
“You think you know, but you were unconscious for two days.”
“Why would I lie about this? Don’t forget there were fire trucks but no fire.”
“There was a fire. You’re confused. You had a head injury.”
“He’s alive, Yoona. Jaesung didn’t die in that car.”
“I can’t listen to you anymore.”
“It’s a conspiracy—they’ve convinced Jaesung’s dad. I don’t know how, but I’m going to find out.”
“Just leave me alone, Lloyd. Please. Go home.”
I could feel him staring at me for a long minute, but I refused to meet his eyes. Finally, he left, and I curled up on the bed and tried to sleep.
The nurse said it was normal that I felt nauseated, that it was just the stage I was in, but I didn’t wholly believe her. To my mind, everything in me was rejecting this pregnancy. I was woken hours later by Lloyd’s voice calling from the other side of the door, begging me to let him in. “My legs, Yoona, my legs are cramping on this cold floor. Yoona, let me in, let me in.”
“Go home, Lloyd. Just go home.”
“Don’t do this, don’t shut me out.”
I pulled the blanket over my head to drown out his words.
The next thing I knew, the phone was ringing. I recognized Willa’s voice. “How bad is it?” I said.
“Oh—” she said, and I heard her let out a breath. When she spoke again, she spoke more slowly. “It’s not what you think. She has pneumonia, Yoona. It was a cold that just turned into pneumonia somehow. Her fever was 104, so we took her to the emergency room.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I said.
“Don’t come now. Just stay by a phone, and I’ll let you know if it gets any worse. The doctor is supposed to talk to us soon.”
“Are you sure that’s all it was? No fights?” I said.