A Missing Heart



I’VE HAD SEVERAL significant moments of realization in my life. Two of them were when I saw my children for the first time. One of them was when Cammy left me for good. One of them was when Hunter lost Ellie and became a widower at twenty-five. Another was when he became happy again with his second chance at life as he met Charlotte, and another was when Cammy and Ever stepped back into my life. Then there’s today, the realization that all of that might not matter because only one of those realizations will stick with me for the remainder of my life.

“He’s coming out of it,” a woman says. “Andrew, can you hear my voice? Please squeeze my finger if you can.” I don’t recognize her voice, but I can hear her, and I squeeze with a weakness that has seemingly taken over my entire body. It’s hard to feel much right now, if anything. “Page the doctor!”

My mind seems extremely blank; yet, I know how I got here. I’d rather my mind stay blank for the time being, however. I don’t want the news I’m expecting when I open my eyes. I know my family is gone, and I’m the only one coming out of this. The pain hasn’t seeped into my heart yet, and I’m scared for when that happens.

“Andrew, can you open your eyes, son?” A man says.

As if my eyes were obeying his command, they struggle to open, finding white-washed walls and empty chairs surrounding the bed I’m lying in. I try to speak but only air comes out. I want to ask if my family is okay.

“You need to relax now; you haven’t used your voice in a week. We’ll get you something to soothe your throat.” A week?

Panic is slowly coursing through me like electricity. No one I recognize is here. I’m in Pennsylvania, that’s why. And my family is dead.

A nurse hands me a cup of water. “Here you go, sweetie.”

After a couple of minutes, I’m able to form sounds in my raw throat. “Where’s my family?” is the first thing I say, realizing it may be a bit confusing since I have no legal rights regarding Ever, and Cammy and I were hardly dating. Gavin, though, is legally my baby.

The doctor smiles gently. “Give me a moment, okay?” He walks out of the room.

I can’t figure out how long it is between the moment he left and returned, but it feels like an eternity while I’m hanging by a loose thread, dreading a response he could have easily given me.

“Andrew,” the doctor says. “You need to wear your seatbelt from now on.” He points to me, highlighting his point. “And this is why—”

At that moment, Cammy, Gavin, and Ever enter the room, interrupting the doctor, and running to my side. Cammy has Gavin tucked safely under her arm, and Ever is climbing on top of me, squeezing her arms around my neck. My heart shatters once again. “I—I’ve been worried sick, AJ,” Cammy stutters in my ear. “Your parents and Hunter are out in the waiting room. Everyone has been worried out of their minds. We were scared you weren’t going to wake up.”

“What happened?” I ask, reaching for Gavin.

“Your muscles are likely to be quite weak at this moment,” a nurse pipes in. I just want to hold him.

Cammy places Gavin next to me and he curls up, resting his head on my chest. “Daddy, I missssssed you.”

“You hit your head against the windshield. You hit it so hard the glass broke from you, not even the impact,” she explains.

“Am I okay?” I ask, even though it’s the least of my worries, still feeling the immense relief of seeing the three of them all in one piece.

“You had some bleeding in your brain, but they were able to stop it. It just didn’t bring you out of the coma right away like they hoped. We weren’t sure…” She runs her hand against the side of my face. “You have some lacerations from the glass, and bruising, but they said if you woke up, you’d be okay.”

Hunter. What did this do to him? After what his accident caused Ellie. “Is Hunter okay?”

Cammy shakes her head silently. “He’s been a mess. He’s not okay.”

“Can I see him?”

Cammy looks at the nurse with question.

“He can come in too,” the nurse says with a smile.

“I’ll go get Hunter,” Ever says, taking Gavin with her. “I love you, Dad.” Ever leans over and kisses my cheek before running out the door for Hunter.

“Dad?” I question. “When did that happen?”

Cammy’s bottom lip quivers. “Our hearing, the one that was supposed to declare me Ever’s legal mother, it wasn’t just for me—”

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