A Million Little Things (Mischief Bay, #3)

One of the bright spots of having Lucas around was that her panic attacks happened less frequently. Maybe it was knowing there was someone else in the house. Maybe it was that he provided a distraction. She wasn’t concerned with the why, only the fact that she was able to get through more of the day without feeling like she was about to die.

They spent mornings outside as much as they could. The late-April weather was perfect—warm and sunny with the lightest of breezes. Jack drove around the patio in his car or played on the grass. Lucas sat in the shade, watching, talking some. He had more color and was only napping once a day. Basically he went down when Jack did. A thought that amused her.

She sat on the grass, letting the sun warm her back. Jack was in front of her with several trucks and some blocks. He carefully loaded the blocks and moved them around her to her other side, where they were dumped onto the ground.

“You have construction in your blood, little man,” Lucas said. “Like your uncle and your grandfather.”

“How do you know about my dad?”

He winked. “I know things.”

Which meant Kirk had told him. She wondered what else her husband had shared, but was nervous about asking. Knowing Lucas, he would tell her the truth—something she was pretty sure she couldn’t handle.

His cell phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his sweatpants pocket and glanced at the screen. She’d thought it might be the visiting nurse, confirming her visit, but when he put it back in his pocket without answering, she knew it was someone else.

“Caitlyn?” she asked.

He scowled. “Leave me alone.”

“You should let her visit you.”

“You said no women.”

Oh, right. She had. “She can come over. Just don’t—” She glanced at Jack. “Make noise.”

“So we can do it but we have to be quiet?”

She blushed. “I don’t want Jack scarred.”

“I didn’t plan for him to be in the room. Besides, there’s no way I’m ready for that right now. I’ll see her later. Or not at all.”

“Don’t you miss her? She’s your girlfriend.”

“She’s a woman I date. There’s a difference.”

True enough. The lack of committed relationships in his life was the reason she’d insisted he stay with them. “I don’t mind if she comes by. There are other reasons to see a woman than that.”

“Not many good ones.” He tilted his head. “Present company excluded.”

She laughed. “Oh, right. Because I’m so dazzling to be with.”

“You’re actually pretty fun. When you’re not hysterically imagining the worst.”

She was about to snap at him when she reminded herself he was trying to get a rise out of her. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I’ve been doing some research online. I might have anxiety.”

“You think?”

The sarcastic tone made her bristle. She was about to snap back when he stunned her by saying, “I’m sorry. That was rude. It’s a reflex and not a good one.”

Lucas apologizing? To her? “Um, it’s okay.”

“It’s not. I’d play the ‘I’m wounded’ card, but why state the obvious.” He looked at her. “You have something going on, Jen. I’m sure you have some mental issues, but there’s some physical stuff, too. Chemicals out of whack or whatever. You should see someone about it.”

She was still stuck on his claim that she had mental issues. “Oh, and I suppose you have a name?”

“Yeah, I do.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. “Excuse me?”

“There are a couple of people who help out guys on the force when things get tough. It’s a combination of traditional drugs with supplements.”

“I’ve already seen a crazy supplement lady, thank you very much. I don’t need my hair analyzed.”

“Good, because these people don’t do that. They run a bunch of blood work, talk to you and then put together a program.” He jerked his head toward the house. “There’s a card in my wallet, on the dresser. Call them. They can help. They’re used to dealing with cops and their significant others. They know what you’re going through.”

“That’s really nice. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now go call them. I’ll watch the kid.”

She hesitated a second before standing. “I’ll be right back.”

“When you’ve made your appointment, you can go buy me cigars.”

She rolled her eyes. “That is so not happening.”

“You need to learn how to have fun.”

“You need to accept your limitations. Ten days ago you were shot. You’re still on all kinds of drugs. Enjoy those while you can. Cigars. As if.”

“Killjoy.”

“Bite me. Oh, wait. I’m too old.”

He laughed. “I might be willing to make an exception.”

“Liar.”

His phone buzzed.

She pointed to it. “Answer it and tell her to come over. I’d rather have her in the house than a cigar.”

He grinned. “What if we make noise?”

She walked to the house. “I’m ignoring you. Totally and completely.”

*

The cold, gray overcast day suited Zoe’s mood perfectly. There wasn’t rain, but the skies were not happy. The temperature was cool enough to require a jacket or sweatshirt. In her case, she’d chosen a bright pink Minnie Mouse one, thinking the adorable Disney character would brighten her mood. But despite her magical powers, there were some problems a high-heel-wearing mouse couldn’t solve.

Zoe sat on a bench by the carousel. Despite the fact that it was midafternoon on a Wednesday, there were plenty of people at the Pacific Ocean Park. Mostly mothers with young children. Lots of mothers and even more children.

Zoe had never paid much attention to them. They were part of the landscape. After Jen had had Jack, they’d come here, first with him in a baby carriage and later with him in a stroller. In the past few months, he’d been big enough to ride one of the horses. Jen strapped him in carefully, then stood watch. Zoe had always thought she was being overprotective. Now she wondered how she would feel the first time her child came to the POP and rode a horse.