A Million Little Things (Mischief Bay, #3)

“Why did you break up with me?”

She raised both hands then let them fall into her lap. “I’m pregnant with Chad’s baby. I didn’t plan for this to happen and I certainly don’t want to have a baby with him, but here I am. Doing it.”

“Are you getting back together with him?”

“What? No! Of course not. Never. But I’m going to have to tell him at some point. And deal with him like forever.” Her stomach flipped over a couple of times, making her wonder if she was going to throw up. She drew in a breath.

“You’ve decided to keep the baby,” Steven said.

She nodded. “My doctor said it was early enough for me to get an abortion, but I don’t want to do that. As for adoption, that’s not going to happen either. I’m having a baby.”

Words she knew to be true, but still couldn’t seem to grasp. “I’m sorry.” She ducked her head and told herself she wasn’t going to cry again. She was going to hold it together. And then eat salad.

Steven crossed to the sofa and sat next to her. He looked into her eyes. “That’s a lot.”

She sniffed.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No. I’m not. I’m confused and scared and I didn’t want to mess things up this way. I liked what we had together. I thought...” Well, she couldn’t say what she thought because she wasn’t sure, but there had been something special between them. “I’d hoped things would be great between us.” She told herself to be strong and brave and that she would be rewarded. At least at some point. “You don’t have to stay.”

“I’m going to ignore that last comment,” he told her. “Tell me if I understand this. You found out that you’re pregnant with Chad’s baby. You’re sure it’s Chad’s?”

“I had an ultrasound. I’m two months along.”

“Okay. You had sex with your ex one time.”

She nodded vigorously and held up a hand. “I swear. It was such a mistake. You have no idea how I regret it. No matter what, Chad and I are not getting back together.”

“I believe you. So you’re going to have the baby and work out some kind of parenting plan with Chad.”

“Yes on the baby and I have no idea on the other part.”

“You broke up with me because you assumed I wouldn’t want to be with you now.”

She blinked away yet more tears. “Yes.”

He stood and crossed to the other side of the room. Once there, he faced her. “Why didn’t you just tell me what had happened?”

“I haven’t told anyone. I don’t know what to say. I was embarrassed and sad and upset.”

“I get that. Now I want to ask you a favor.”

She waited.

He looked at her. “Let me screw up before you decide I’m in trouble.”

“What?”

“You assumed I wouldn’t want to stay together once I knew you were pregnant. You made the decision before me. But you have no idea what I’m thinking. Hell, I don’t know what I’m thinking. But I do know this—I’m not walking away. I need to think about everything and figure out what I want. I need some time.”

She honest to God couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You’re not running?”

“Not yet.”

“You might not run?”

He smiled. “I’m thinking I could maybe handle this. I’m not sure. It’s a lot to take in. But so far, it’s not out of the question.”

She told herself not to hope. That if she started to believe, it would hurt too much if he decided he was done. But she couldn’t help feeling just a little bit better than she had before.

“Take as much time as you need,” she told him.

He returned to the sofa. “You said no one else knows. Who are you going to tell next?”

“My dad, I guess. Jen.” She thought about Pam and had a feeling Steven’s mother wouldn’t be as understanding as her son.

“I’ll tell my mom,” he said, as if reading her mind. “But let’s wait a few days on her.”

“Thank you. I’m going to have to tell Chad, too. I’m not looking forward to that conversation.”

“I’ll be there if you want.”

“While I appreciate the offer, I’m going to have to tackle that one on my own.”

He took her hand in his. “You’re really strong.”

“I’m a mess. I can’t stop crying and I’m seriously bitter about the lack of coffee and alcohol in my life.”

“Want to go get dinner?”

“Yes. I’d like that a lot.”

He smiled. “Me, too.”

*

Jen got through the first three days of Lucas’s stay by trying not to spend any time with him. A logistical challenge, given that he was in their house and she was the one mostly taking care of him. She was still wrestling with his drug-induced assessment of her and her life. While she wanted to defend herself and her actions, she kept coming up against the fact that he might have been telling the truth.

By the end of the first week, they’d gotten into a routine. Lucas was able to join her and Jack for breakfast. Despite her concerns about him being inappropriate around her son, Lucas was only patient and attentive when it came to Jack. He talked to the boy, played with him, read to him and in return, Jack adored him. More than once Jack had insisted on giving Lucas his precious Pooh bear for the night.

Jen had managed to spend some time on the computer, researching depression and anxiety. She wondered if she was suffering from some form of both. Within a two-year period, she’d gotten pregnant, lost her dad, had a baby, moved and had to deal with her husband changing jobs. That was a lot for anyone. On her good days she told herself there had to be a way out. On her bad days, she wondered if she was going to slip into madness.