He shrugged. “I noticed.”
“The sexual tension just drips between the two of you,” Kevin breathed. “This is like my own private erotic show. I don’t have any money, but will you take requests? And if so, what are your hard limits? How do you feel about object insertion?”
“Against,” I said at the same time that Ruv said, “Depends on the object.”
I gaped at him.
Kevin purred. “I like the desert.”
“How did we even get here?” I asked. “And why do I always end up asking myself that?” I shook my head. “Stop distracting me. I am here for a very specific reason.”
“And what would that be?” Ruv asked.
“The dragon. Vadoma said you were an expert in it.”
He hesitated. Barely, but it was there. “Expert might be… a misnomer.”
“Really,” I said. “Shocking.”
“I don’t know that anyone could be considered an expert in dragons. We can’t exactly talk to them.”
“Hi,” I said, pointing up at Kevin. “Remember me? I can talk to dragons. And because of me, they can talk to everyone else. What does it look like?”
“Serpentine,” he said. “Long and thin. The scales are hardened and the color of fire. The wings on its back are small, but they’re useful when it dives from the air and into the sand, burrowing deep into the earth below. It has razor-sharp spikes that line its back that can flex if attacked from above. It does not have legs, but it moves quickly, especially on top of the sands. Its given name is Jekhipe. It means ‘oneness.’ Because it is one with the desert.”
I paled as I swallowed thickly. “So. What you just described sounds like a gigantic flying snake.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t like gigantic flying snakes. Or, really, any snakes at all.”
“Ah. Well. Hopefully, you’ll get over that shortly. I’ve always heard that to conquer a fear, you have to immerse yourself in it.”
“That sounds like a terrible idea,” I said. “Why would anyone do that?”
“Because they choose to. You, on the other hand, do not have a choice.”
Godsdammit. “When was the last time you saw it?”
Ruv’s brow furrowed. “Saw… it? What do you mean?”
That didn’t sound good. “When did you last lay eyes on it?”
“Oh! I understand now. The answer is never. I’ve never seen it.”
I stopped walking. “What.”
Ruv looked back at me, confused. “No one has seen the dragon in many, many years.”
“Then how do you know what it looks like?”
“Drawings,” he said, as if I were stupid.
“Drawings,” I repeated. “And how do you know where it is?”
He laughed. “Everyone in the desert knows where the dragon sleeps. You’ll see as soon as we get there.”
“That… sounds worrying.”
“A little.”
“You do realize this doesn’t make you an expert on the dragon. In fact, you’re the furthest thing from an expert there is.”
“I didn’t call me an expert.”
“Vadoma did,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “She is the phuro. She can say what she pleases.”
“Do you think he’ll like me?” Kevin asked. “Jekhipe. Which, honestly. What a terrible name.”
I looked up at him to find him looking nervously off in the distance. “Why wouldn’t he?”
“You didn’t like me when we first met.”
“You were trying to kill me.”
“Or fuck you.”
“Or fuck me, yes. I remember. I won’t ever not remember that, thank you. But I got over it, right? You’re my buddy now. You know that.”
“And you’re my sexy son,” Kevin said, grinning around a mouthful of sharp teeth. But then the smile faded. “I’ve never met another dragon before.” He looked away, wings drooping a little. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone, you know? What if I’m not good enough?”
“Pick me up,” I demanded.
He stared at me for a moment, but complied. He was gentle as his claws curled around me, bringing me up until I was level with his face, feet dangling into the air below.
“Closer,” I said.
He did.
“Closer.”
He did, going a little cross-eyed as he continued to focus on me.
I punched him in the nose.
“Ow!” he roared, jerking me back. “What the fuck!”
“You don’t get to talk bad about yourself!” I snapped. “You’re good enough! You know what, you’re better than good enough. So I don’t want to ever hear you talk like that about yourself again, you hear me?”
He growled at me, exhaling hot smoke that caused me to cough. “You didn’t have to hit me!”
“Oh, fuck off. You probably didn’t even feel that. Me, on the other hand. My fist hurts like a motherfucker. Why is everything about you so hard?”
“Yeah it is,” he said. “You want to see how hard I can—”
“Stop it.”
He pouted. “You said it, not me.”
“You didn’t have to rise to the godsdamned bait, you—”
“I always rise, I’ll have you know—”
“Kevin!”
“Sam!”
“What are they doing?” I heard Ruv ask below.
“It’s better not to ask,” Gary replied. “This is how we do. Just roll with it, honeybunch. It’ll make things easier.”
“Don’t hate the player,” Tiggy said. “Hate the game.”
“I still don’t even understand it sometimes,” Ryan said.
“You listen to me, okay?” I said, taking Kevin’s face in my hands as best I could. There was a contented rumble in his chest as I put my chin on top of his nose so he could see me properly. “You are good enough. And if any other dragon, or any other person, says you’re not, they’re wrong and they’ll have to deal with me, okay?”
“You are my favorite human,” Kevin said quietly. “In case you didn’t know.”
“I’m everyone’s favorite human. I’m used to it by now.”
He tilted his head away and laughed. As much as we antagonized each other, I really did love that sound. A laughing dragon was a happy dragon, and I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, especially since he and Gary were broken up. It wouldn’t last, I knew. Eventually they’d pull their heads out of their asses and then go back to putting their heads up each other’s asses, or whatever sexual perversions they got up to. But while it did, I needed to make sure he was okay, just as much as I did Gary. I thought maybe I’d forgotten that.
He was smiling that weird reptilian smile when he leaned forward again and said, “Cheeky little bugger. I ought to spank that pert little ass of yours until it’s… it’s… huh.”
I squinted at him. “Did you really just lose your train of thought while thinking about my ass? Gods, you’re so weird. I don’t know why you can’t just—”
He reached up with his other hand and used a single claw, pressing it gently against my chin, turning my head west.
At first, I didn’t see it.
It looked like only sand, stretching on without end.