However, now that Emmeline knew from bitter experience what it was like to have all eyes upon her, she was not keen to repeat it. Even though that evening was to be something of a crowning achievement for her, still she knew that there would be those in attendance who had also borne witness to the events of that awful evening of the summer ball at Ashton house. The evening when she had been so thoroughly and publicly humiliated.
No doubt many would wonder at the speed of her engagement, very likely having discussed amongst themselves the idea that the Earl and Emmeline, both jilted by the people they loved, were simply making do with one another. Especially Emmeline, whose fortunes it would be widely known depended upon such a match.
Rose and her mother had helped her greatly with the ideas for her gown for the evening. When they had picked the fabrics, Emmeline had even felt a little excited, thinking that it might be quite nice to be so expensively dressed for the occasion.
But as she stood in the ballroom at Addison Hall with her sister, wearing a fine gown of the palest olive green, Emmeline began to feel awkward. The bust of the gown had been overlaid with a fine gold coloured satin. The cuffs of her short puffed sleeves were golden also, as was the sash at the empire line just beneath the bust.
Her chocolate brown curls had been piled high on her head, and a slim headband in the same green and gold fabric was fixed neatly over the crown of her head. She wore pristine long white gloves and a gold necklace with a heavy pendant at her throat. All in all, Emmeline felt somewhat overdone and wondered if anybody present could sense her awkwardness.
“Emmeline, why do you fidget so with your gown?” Rose said, tapping her sister’s forearm gently.
“I must admit to you, Rose, that I do not feel quite myself. I do not feel comfortable in this gown, or at least as comfortable as I might have felt in one of my others.”
“But I thought you liked it; I thought you were excited when the seamstress was putting it all together.”
“I was excited, Rose, and it is a beautiful gown. But for reasons I cannot get to the bottom of, I just have the curious feeling of making myself too much an object of interest, an object drawing attention.”
“But you will draw attention anyway, my dear. After all, everybody here tonight knows that the Earl of Addison is shortly to announce his engagement to you. There are to be no surprises this evening, no unexpected announcements. And so, everybody here would expect you to be as beautifully dressed as you are.”
“I thank you, my dear sister, and I am sure that you are quite right.”
“Does something else bother you, Emmeline? I cannot help thinking that it is not the gown alone which has made you a little quiet, and if I might say so, a little anxious.”
“It is true, I am indeed a little anxious.” Emmeline turned to her sister, grateful for her counsel.
“Surely you do not dwell this evening upon what happened before? I mean with Christopher and Clara.”
“No, I do not think that Hunter is about to stand before all present and announce that he is to marry Felicity. Hunter would not do such a thing to me, however much he loves her.”
“And now I see,” Rose said with a sudden wisdom beyond her years.
“You see what?”
“I see that it is not fear of a similar humiliation which has brought you down but rather the idea that Hunter still loves the Duchess of Galcross.”
“It is not a fear, Rose, but a certainty. The two of them were meant to marry, and he was treated very cruelly and without warning. I cannot begin to imagine that his love for her has faded overnight, can you? And, at any rate, it matters not. Our reasons for marrying are very different.”
“They might well have been in the beginning, Emmeline, but perhaps they have now changed.”
“No, they have not changed,” Emmeline said and knew that she spoke in a defensive tone. A tone that her sister would undoubtedly pick up on immediately.
“I know that Mama is a romantic creature and that you are far less so,” Rose began cautiously. “But you still have a heart, sister, and it is a heart that I know well. I cannot escape the feeling that you have fallen in love with Hunter Bentley.”
“Really, it would do me no good to speak of such things. After all, it will change nothing, will it?”
“Whether it does or it does not is of little matter. The important thing is that if there is something in your heart, you must know that you can always speak it aloud to me.”
“Of course, of course.” Emmeline smiled and reached out to take her sister’s hand. “Forgive me, I feel as if I have guarded my heart so fiercely for so long now. I am afraid that it has become a terrible habit, but I shall not maintain such a habit with you.”
“Then you do love him?”
“Yes, Rose, I am afraid to say that I do love him.”
“But that is a good thing, is it not? To live without loving was always going to be a very hard thing to do.”
“But to love where the love flows only one way is surely harder, Rose.” To hear it spoken aloud made Emmeline feel suddenly desolate.
“I cannot think it will always be that way. After all, the two of you have found a great deal in common these last weeks.”
“But he has been so quiet since the funeral of the old Duke. And I am certain that he harbours regrets of the life he has chosen now. Surely he wonders at times if he could forgive Felicity for what she did to him and live out a life with her in love and happiness.”
“I think you are assuming that he still loves her. After all, he told you that he has no intention of marrying her, despite the fact that she would seem to have implored him to do that very thing on the day of her husband’s funeral.”
“And would that be anything other than manly pride, Rose? It is possible for a man to obey his pride before he obeys his heart, and I daresay it is a source of much masculine regret in later life.”
“I think you read too many masculine books, sister,” Rose said, and the sisters laughed.
Emmeline was suddenly so grateful to have such a confidante as Rose. Despite her youth, she seemed to have a good deal of wisdom and common sense, much more than her old confidante seemed to have had.
The moment she thought of Clara, she could not help searching the room for her. Hunter had invited Mr and Mrs Christopher Lennox out of propriety alone. They had been invited to the Lennox’s wedding, and so it was incumbent upon the Earl to invite them to the announcement of his own engagement.
She found her old friend in no time and regarded her for just a few moments. Clara stood, blonde and pretty at the side of her husband. There was a little distance between them, and it struck Emmeline immediately that neither one of them seemed to look particularly happy. But perhaps that was because they were at an event that they had not wanted to attend. Just like their own wedding, there was a certain inevitability in the close proximity, and she had little doubt that they had yet to overcome their own guilt or embarrassment at the way they had treated her. Their cowardice had doubtless come back to bite them and perhaps, especially at times such as these, they wished they had used a little courage and confessed all to her face and in private.